Jan 28, 2008
Johan Santana. To the Met's. Whatever. Gonna be great playing this guy 6 times a year. Who cares, they still haven't invented a Met that Chipper couldn't hit .450 against. And with Glavine back from his foray behind enemy lines, I still feel good about the Bravos chances this year.
Maybe your coach wants to leave the team.
Maybe your owner wants to fire your coach.
But rarely, do we see the senile owner demand the resignation of the 14-year old coach, who refuses, and demands to be fired. Then there's THIS.
Whoever called me to grab 'a beer' and watch some sports...I hate you.
Whoever invented Golden Tee...I hate you.
Whoever decided on producing and marketing a coffee flavored tequila...I hate you.
Whoever kept buying shots of aforementioned tequila after I pleaded with you not to...I hate you.
Whoever mocked me relentlessly into not leaving...I hate you.
Whoever lacked the will power to just walk away...wait, that was me. Nevermind.
Whoever got me sick...I hate you.
Whatever, I feel like dirt.
Jan 24, 2008
With the (needless) 2-week layover until the Super Bowl, I'm left to catch up with my old sweetheart, the NBA. My quick thoughts on the season so far:
- LeBron James has turned me back into a believer. He is doing more with certain facets of the team doing their best to hold him back. His per game averages have been off the charts, and he is carrying the Cavs into contention.
- Eddie Jordan is the coach of the year, no matter what happens from here on out. Outpacing much of the improved east without the big star (Agent Zero)? Very impressive.
- The Celtics are VERY good; but recent stumbles have made me wonder if this team has another level to reach come playoff time. We'll see.
- Atlanta Hawks. Below the radar.
- Fear the Bugs. For now at least; look for Dallas and San Antonio to step up their game, come post All-Star Break.
- Bynum needs to hurry back, or the Lakers could see a major slide, since Kwame Brown is synonymous with BUST.
Ok, before I go, here are my picks for this February's NBA All-Star Game:
Starters: Kidd, Billups, James, Garnett, Howard
Starters: Paul, Bryant, Anthony, Duncan, Camby
Full All-Star break down tomorrow, following the starters announcement tonight.
Something has been going wrong in
The strength of our team, as far as the deepest talent, is at running back, and more specifically in the running game. Justin Griffith, Jerious Norwood, Warrick Dunn, any one of these could be the feature back, and in time they may be. Our offensive line was put together by the same man who devised the one-cut zone system in
Now, he wasn’t the laughing stock of a league (Dennis “he was what we thought he was” Green), he wasn’t suffering Super Bowl hangover (Bill “my quarterback was hit by on old lady. I need a drink” Cowher), he wasn’t a dirty turncoat (Nick “just leave us
Jan 23, 2008
Oh, hi come one in. I didn't see you there. Don't mind me, I'm just finishing up this light snack prepared for me by my new friend, Eli Manning. Could you pass the salt?
I understand he got the recipe online somewhere. I told him I understood; not exactly like there are years of family recipes he can thumb through or anything.
I am sitting here on Wednesday still in shock over the outcome of the Giants-Packers game. It's not that hard to accept that Favre helped architect a Green Bay meltdown; this has been his modus operandi for the past few years. No, what is most shocking is that Tynes was able to miss those two VERY makable field goals in regulation, steel himself, and hit that 47 yarder to win the game. Point blank: I was very wrong about Eli Manning. He carried himself and his team to a win in wind chill -25 degree weather, and he didn't just manage the game; he was not Trent Dilfer '07, he was something totally different. He did everything his team needed to win, and still had to run around for a full 23 seconds after the winning field goal, before finding someone to hug (the punter).
Packers fans, I have nothing to offer. I cannot relate to this, because the only similar event I can remember was when the Birds punished the offensive record-breaking Vikings at home to go to the Super Bowl. Don't forget that your hero Favre is not the most culpable party in this loss. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: Mike McCarthy.
Mike, haven't you known in the past that Bret Favre is a gunslinger who thinks his arm can cure cancer? Mike, did you not publicly request that Favre dial back this aspect of himself early in the year? Mike, was the most successful part of your offensive efforts in recent weeks the resurgance in the running game, a running game you turned to less than 15 times on Sunday? Mike, why are we not doubling Plaxico Burress after he tore apart Al Harris in the first half?
Lots of questions.
I'm not going to start Super Bowl Hype; I'll leave that up to the talking heads on ESPN 1-27. Besides, we've got more than 2 weeks until the game, so why start now?
Actually, we've got exactly THIS LONG.
Jan 18, 2008
Seriously, congratulations are in order here. Who would have thought that Eli would be the Manning brother to play his way into a title game this year? He deserves all the accolades and love being dumped on him this week. It is so good for his psyche (described by a team official as 'skittish' earlier this year) to be playing so well and to be reminded of it constantly. Oh, who am I kidding? Eli Manning is Trent Dilfer '07.
Everyone wants to point at his improved play at quarterback the last two weeks: this has been because he hasn't been asked to do anything. You're talking about a quarterback who hasn't thrown 200 yards in either playoff game, and led an offense to only 57 total yards in the second half of the Cowboys meltdown...I mean, the Giants win. This team is winning because of it's ability to get pressure on the passer, to dominate in the running game, and that Eli doesn't screw it all up. This weekend, at the Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field, all three wheels are coming off.
The Green Bay offensive line has given up the fewest sacks in the NFL this year, because they are big, physical, and impossible to intimidate. The running game will be kept bottled up, since the Packers defense has allowed only 177 rushing yards in their last 3 games, including a break out 102-yard day by Chicago's Adrian Peterson in week 16. Plus, this is a team that builds on it's lead, so when Eli and co. go down early in the cold weather he hates so much, Favre will pile on the points. This game won't even be close.
Packers 35, Giants 14
The only thing standing between the Patriots and another Super Bowl invitation is Norv Turner, and a cast of injured stars including Phillip Rivers, Antonio Gates, and LDT. This should be a walk in the park, easily covering the 13.5 point spread.
Not so fast my friend.
Since the Colts meltdown last week, I have had to re-evaluate some truths I had just accepted. Maybe Phil Rivers is a good quarterback. Maybe you don't need the NFL rushing leader to win a game in the RCA Dome. Maybe the San Diego defense really is that good.
But then again...
Maybe that pesky Manning choker gene reared it's ugly head again. Maybe Marvin Harrison had no business being on the field still injured. Maybe Tony Dungy had one foot out the door.
Maybe all these things are true, but I know that the team headed into Foxboro is not the same one that got whipped in week 2...their defense is much improved, they have come together as a team, and they appear ready to do the impossible.
That's the thing about the impossible though: It can't be done.
Patriots 31, Chargers 21
GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
Do all you can to avoid spoilers, stills, and bootlegs. This was not meant to be seen on your computer screen or even a very nice home theater system. This is the American Monster Movie we have always wanted, but done perfectly. Size and scope wise, you are terrified from the moment we have all seen in the trailer.
For the first time in years, you literally have no idea what is going to happen next in a movie. Not that they poured so much in, that it is overkill, but that you literally think that there is no way for things to get worse. And then they do.
Regarding the shaky camera people were worried about, the 1st person perspective does nothing to detract from the story. On the contrary, it actually adds a facet to the experience that is often missing from monster movies. This is Godzilla from the ground floor. On steroids.
The PG-13 rating was for, "Violence, Terror, and Disturbing Images."
Disturbing Images? CHECK
This is not Blair Witch 2.0...you see this Monster, in all it's glory, alot. You get a feel for just how awesome it is, and the destruction it is capable of from the jump. I can't write much more, mostly because there is too much adrenaline in my system, but also because I don't want to ruin any facet of the movie.
Jan 17, 2008
I haven't been legitimately excited for a movie in a very long time. From the mysterious trailer that proceeded Transformers this past summer, I have wondered what the date 1-18-08 could mean. I endured the hapless guesses of my fellow fans, I followed along as Jamie sent messages to Teddy over the interweb, I tracked down every trailer I could, I drank my Slusho and patiently waited.
Well, now it's here. Rated PG-13 for violence, terror and disturbing images...when's the last time you heard that in a rating?
In a mere 5 hours, I will watch...something tear through New York. And I couldn't be more excited.
GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
Jan 15, 2008
This is to remind us about Spygate...
This is because the Big 10 is a Big-joke...
The first Photoshp is funny because of it's irrelevance. Seriously, spygate doesn't matter anymore. This is a team of destiny, and no matter who comes out of the NFC might just be a footnote in the Pats' march to the record books. As much as I hate the whole region, I am excited about the prospect of seeing the best team ever.
The second Photoshop is funny simply because it's true.
Apparently, Adam 'Pac Man' Jones is dumber than I even thought possible.
Jan 10, 2008
You release a taped conversation with your former trainer where he repeatedly offers to go to jail for you, and asks what you want him to do. Hmm...did another recently embattled star have his trainer sit in jail for him as opposed to ratting him out? Did aforementioned trainer receive a LARGE payment for his troubles? Is Clemens' trainer friend (whose name I have forgotten, and is unimportant) currently hurting for money? Is it suspicious how little the Rocket was saying, with the knowledge he was being taped?
Oh, and to everyone who thinks that his impassioned defense was convincing, and definitive proof that he's innocent? Remember a certain someone else who's defiance was noteworthy and is now facing jail time? This should jog your memory.
The Big 10 is dead. Long live everyone else.
The SEC and Big 10 champions met in a game to decide the National Champion of College Football. Again. The Big 10 started fast, building a quick lead. Again. The SEC utilized superior speed/size/(insert thing that wins football games here) and dominated from that point forward. Again.
A four team playoff would be best for everyone, as (extremely biased) Georgia President Michael Adams pointed out this week. I wish he had done this last year, because now he just looks like a poor sport, but the fact remains that he has the backing of every major conference save two: The Pac-10 because of the devotion to the Rose Bowl, which does not share the other Fox television contract as the other BCS bowls, and the Big 10, because they can manage their schedule, have the least mediocre team emerge, and bully their way into the title game, boasting stats pumped up against less than quality opposition. Maybe LSU didn't have the statistically best defense in the game coming in, but OSU didn't play 9 bowl teams, and the Tigers did.
I will do more NBA stuff soon, I promise. But until then, I present to you the site I wish I made...
Yes, it's a real site, and yes, it does track Larry Hughes' shooting every night. If you're a Cavs fan, beware. If not, it's worth reading even if you just look at the loss to Atlanta last night (Wednesday).
Home teams are in bold.
Green Bay (-8) over Seattle
Their secondary isn't that good, Favre is WORLD's better than Todd Collins, who almost mounted a comeback in round 1, and Ryan Grant is playing like Ahman Green/Dorsey Levens in their prime. Aside from all the Hasselbeck jokes we've endured this week, this team just isn't ready to make the leap over a 13-3 squad that looks to do something special this post season.
Plus, Favre is 35% magic. Can't forget that.
Jacksonville (+13.5) over Terminators
Just to be clear, New England gets the win, just not nearly 2 touchdowns of the win. Call me nuts, but as long as the secondary for Jacksonville even remotely shows intrest in Randy Moss, they won't get blown out. It's really tough to blow out teams that rarely turn the ball over, have a dominant running attack, play solid defense, and don't get penalized often. I mean, if anyone can do it, it's the Terminators. I just don't think so.
Indy (-8.5) over San Diego
Wait a minute. What happened in Indy? Was there a chemical fire that cost Payton an eye? How is this line so low? Is there any chance the Colts don't win by 2 touchdowns?
Wait a minute. If betting were legal, I could 2-team tease Favre at Lambeau, and Manning and Dungy taking on Norv Turner at the RCA dome, hoping that both favorites win by more than a field goal? In the words of Rich Skrosky, it's like stealin', men.
Giants (+7.5) over Cowboys
I'm just about to pick Eli Manning on the road to lose by less than a touchdown (oh, you better believe he's gonna lose). I hate myself.
Jan 7, 2008
Well, after about a month, it's finally here. LSU v. Ohio State. It's amazing really, that this team is being given a second chance after last year's debacle, but these are the breaks (break em up, break em up, break em up...). Anyway, expect to see the same as last year, blowout pt. 2. Position by position, the Buckeyes are just over matched and outclassed against a superior Tigers team.
Quarterback: Boekman has never thrown more than 30 passes in a game, while the duo of Perriloux and Flynn have been leaders to a fault for this team.
Running Back: Here's where everyone thinks OSU has an edge. But, I'll let you in on a little secret. No matter how good Beanie "Chris" Wells is, Jacob Hester is better. He may not be faster, but I defy you to show me one time an opposing player brought him down on his own.
Receivers/Fast People: HAHAHAHA...Early Docet and Trinton Holiday do NOT play for the Buckeyes.
O-Line: First real edge for OSU, having only given up 13 sacks this year. They didn't play anyone, but that's still impressive.
D-Line: A very healthy, very rested, very anxious Glenn Dorsey means LSU has the edge here.
Linebackers: The person taking all those post-season trips with Dorsey? Mr. Laurinaitis, that's who. While I still think that he is undersized, you cannot deny results.
DBs/Other Fast People: One team lost two starters for off the field infractions. The other has a man named Xenon trolling the defensive backfield. And, since the SEC doesn't follow NCAA behavior guidelines, the edge goes to the Tigers.
Final: LSU 31, OSU 17
Now if they meet again in the NCAA Basketball Title Game, I quit.
Jan 4, 2008
The point remains, that the Terminators went 16-0 and are now a mere 3 games from immortality. Some would argue that all the records broken over the past 17 weeks place them on that immortal pedestal with Mercury Morris and co., but I say they are not quite there yet. Once in my lifetime, I have seen history (when the ’98 Bulls put together a 10 loss season) and it didn’t seem as epic until they had secured the title. The ability to look back as
Or I could be watching the greatest fall ever when they lose to the Packers in the Super Bowl.
I’m just saying…
Now, for some picks. Home team in bold.
With my mortal lock picks (
Raise your hands if you’ve been suckered in by Todd Collins’ play these last few weeks? All of you huh? Is that why this line is so low? Well, allow me to let you in on a little secret.
No one is a back-up for 10 years if they are any good. No one. It’s never happened in the history of mankind. There is actually an article on ESPN.com right now that has the headline, in bold, calling him a career backup. Does anyone really think he has a chance in
I know, everyone is picking J’Ville. But it just feels right. I can’t believe that the Steelers and “Ben” are underdogs at home in the playoffs, but we have seen that day.
By the way, this “Ben” nonsense has got to stop. I don’t know who started it, but it’s affecting more facets of my life than I’m comfortable admitting.
Bucs (-2.5) over Giants
In the gutsy showing the G-Men put up against the Terminators last week, they lost about four players to injury, and Eli Manning’s patented meltdown is GUARANTEED to factor in heavily. Let’s break the offenses down like a Super Bowl game, even though neither team will get deeper than round 2:
O-Line: The Buccaneers line makes Earnest Graham look good. The Giants just lost their starting center.
Receivers: Giants rely on Plaxico and Amani Toomer. The Buccaneers have android Joey Galloway catching balls.
Quarterbacks: Jeff Garcia. Winner everywhere he’s been (except
Coach: Gruden has been resting players since he figured out they were gonna play the Giants. He has gameplanned the life out of this game. Coughlin? Ha ha ha ha ha…
Chargers (-9) over Titans
Kerry Collins could be heavily involved. And if he isn’t, Vince Young will be.
Jan 3, 2008
Rake: How good would a Georgia-USC Rose Bowl have been?
Me: That thought kept me up all night. Both our teams looked lights out yesterday, and that game would have made my head explode.
Rake: I'm not anti-BCS because i think a playoff doesn't work and the BCS is as good a system as any, but I would also throw SC against anyone in the nation right now. I'm sure you feel the same way about UGA.
Me: Most certainly.
But, at the same time, UGA got to pick on an undersized, outclassed 'football team' last night. It wasn't fair from the jump, as our size and speed up front created such a mismatch that it doesn't translate well to us playing other teams.
We both picked on mediocre to bad teams, but I think Illinois is better than UH. Ya'll looked unreal yesterday.
Rake: Absolutely. I feel like whats happened the last two years (2 loss regular season, dominate in the rose bowl, have everyone at the end of the season talking about how we're a potential #1 team) is going to be the pattern for SC over the next few years. Does that make us a dynasty? I don't know. but I'll take a 5-1 BCS record and six straight years of top 5 finishes against anybody else out there. But the Pac-10 is so deep and our recruiting classes aren't (we're top heavy every year, with a couple of 5-star blue chippers and little else), that when we have injuries like against Stanford and Oregon, we're bound to lose a game or two. I guess I'll take it, though I worry that a few more years without a national championship and Carroll's gonna get the NFL itch,
Me: I'm not touching the 'depth of the Pac-10' comment...oh, and Carroll's already had the NFL itch; it didn't go well .
Oh, and I love how everyone is writing in UGA as a National Title Contender next year. Flattering, yes, but look there are three games I am legitimately worried about next year.
Sept 20: @ Arizona State; Oct 25: @ LSU; THE NEXT WEEK: @ UF
Not to mention Nov. 15 @ Auburn...did you catch their new fast, strong armed QB who is going to be a TRUE SOPHOMORE...I hate my life.
Did I say worried? I meant terrified.
Rake: God the SEC is disgusting. Although it should be...if you're a top recruit, why would you ever consider going anywhere other than Florida, USC, Miami, Bama, Georgia, Auburn, Tennessee? I mean come on.
Me: You mean you don't find those Ohio State winters/coeds more appealing than 65 degrees on Christmas day/promises of beaches and song girls? For shame!
The conversation took a turn here, where we pretty much made fun of every other team in the nation. Mostly the Big 10. I bring you back to our new-found debate on college coaching. Or the lack thereof.
Rake: Rank the top 5 coaches in the game today, based on a combination of 1) past success, 2) recruiting, 3) knowledge of the game, 4) stability, 5) personality. Basically, if you were given a blank check to go get a coach for your program, who would you pick?
Me: Know that it hurts me to do this...
In no particular order:
Tressel or Your boy
I will now impale myself on a spear, 300-style.
Rake: Really? You can put saban and spurrier on a list that's concerned with stability?!
Me: Saban, good point. Spurrier has coached Duke to an ACC title, was at UF for 10 terrible years, and has been stable at USC. Bump Saban, and throw on Richt.
Yeah, I said it.
Rake: Wow, ok. Pretty broadminded there; you know there are other conferences, right?
Me: I have heard such things. Wouldn't throw on Mack Brown, Lloyd Carr is gone, the old men are just that old, what's your top five?
Rake: I'll agree with you on Fulmer and Stoops, but I still think Stoops is overrated. You know I have Carroll on there; I think its pretty hard to ignore 14 losses in 7 years, especially when 6 of them came in his first year.
As for Richt, I have a ton of respect for what he's done. I think on the criteria I included, he's weaker on past success but really strong on stability knowledge and potential. I can't put Tressell on there because he's dirty and its coming out sooner or later.
So I've got Carroll, Fulmer, Stoops. I guess I can give you your boy Richt, but you've got to throw Les Miles some love. I don't know, its hard. Urban Meyer deserves some credit too. I can't pick between those two.
So ill give it to the genius himself...
Me: Now I know you're just picking on me; but this points out the real reason why this has been such a topsey-turvey season: no elite coaching. I put Tressel on there so you wouldn't claim my SEC bias, and how you leave off Spurrier considering the 90s is beyond me. I can't believe I forgot Urban Meyer, but he defiantly deserves to be in the conversation. My hatred of Les Miles and belief that he has added nothing since Saban's departure keeps him off my list (he recruited these seniors AND juniors). Maybe once Herm Edwards is coaching in college next year, we can add to this list.
I see your Charlie Weiss...
And raise you Bill Callahan.
And finally, this debate spilled into this morning...
Rake: One thing about our discussion last night...all Bob Stoops does is lose BCS games.
What about Beamer? I guess he's too old but he's in the convo. i don't know why I'm so anti-Spurrier, i just think he's old and if i were starting a program today, I'd want someone younger.
Jesus Christ though, Carroll's only lost 8 games in 6 years. That's absurd.
Me: Beamer hasn't really done anything, esp in the new, exceptionally weak ACC. Trust me, if anyone is anti-Spurrier, it's me, but I have to give credit where it is due...however begrudgingly. For what it's worth, we both know for the majority of those 6 AMAZING years, the Pac-10 was comprised of mostly also-rans. Though, this year, ya'll were far and away the second best conference in the land. Maybe the rest of the Pac-10 has caught up?
Rake: To be fair, in the BCS era, 7 of the 10 Pac-10 schools have gone to a BCS game. Granted, most of those were lukewarm Pac-10 champs before SC returned to dominance, but the Pac-10 is always competetive and is now turning into an incredible conference. Agree on beamer, didn't think about that. the Pac-10 has started to catch up, by the way, but only in the way a newborn baby is "starting to catch up with" his 24 years older beast of a father...one day he might be stronger, but the old man will still win in arm wrestling any time.
Me: Great analogy...but unfair. I really think that Pac-10 schools outside of SC have noticed that while Carrol and co were becoming National Darlings, they were just window dressing. That's when teams like Oregon (legit before losing Dixon), Arizona State (pleasant surprise) and Stanford (hahahaha) decided to become committed to putting out a winning product.
Maybe your analogy is right though. Putting out a winning product and becoming completely obsessed to the point that coaches shake hands post-game flanked by 2 state troopers each is a little different. The thing is, the West Coast has so much to offer, while down here all we have is football, whiskey, and women. And on Saturdays, we do all three better than anyone else in the world. You'd love it here.