May 31, 2008

Who Called These Finals?

I called these Finals.

Yes I did.

But after watching these might be Lakers in 5, 4 if they feel frisky.

More Than Drunken Stories

Tucker Max wrote this.

If you haven't realized it by now, you will realize soon enough that a lot of people out there tiptoe through their lives, unsure of who they are or what they want, blindly following the dictates of society, never truly finding themselves or their calling, until they arrive quietly at their death.

I refuse to tiptoe through life and arrive quietly at my death. I decided a long time ago that I would not be one of those guys. That no matter how much effort or pain or sacrifice it took, I refused to settle. I refused to not actively take part in my life, instead of just going with the flow and finding myself in a place where I looked up and thought "I am so unhappy with my life. How did I get here?"

But here's the thing: It is very easy to get there without realizing how you got there. Maybe our culture does a poor job of making its youth understand that getting life right is very hard. It requires a lot of skills to be a success, more than anything, it demands that you be two things: determined to find a path to your personal success, and courageous enough to take it, despite the consequences. Think to yourself: How many people do you know that you can really describe that way? Not many.

That's the bad news. The good news is that its a choice. Success truly is a choice. Every single day, with every single action and every single decision, you pick your own path. Do you read something that educates you instead of watching your tenth Seinfeld run-run? Thats a choice. Do you go to the gym like you want to, or do you just drink a Diet Coke and sit on the sofa? That's a choice. Do you go start writing like you've always said you wanted to, or do you just put it off for another day? That is a choice. Every day you make hundreds of thse choices, and when you are 40 and look up to find yourself in a shitty life that you don't like, you have no one to blame but yourself.
I have never agreed with anything he's written more. Except for maybe the Absinthe Donuts Story.

May 29, 2008


Sorry San Antonio fans, but there is no way this series goes back to Texas. Kobe "Mamba" Bryant will not allow it. He is going to rip the throat out of the Spurs and feed them to his young.

By young, I mean Sasha, Farmar, and Walton.

May 28, 2008

Out of the Frying Pan...

Okay, so early reports have the Hawks signing on Rick Sund as new GM. Don't recognize the name? Well, he helped destroy the Sonics. Don't believe me? The following was not taken from a Sonics fan site, but another NBA blog that awarded on a 5 point system for each roster move, talking about worst GMs last year:

[trade: +5, re-sign: +3] 2/03 – Sund took advantage of the Ray Allen/Michael Redd situation in Milwaukee by stealing Ray Ray away, only giving up a washed-up point guard (Gary Payton) and a guy who still can’t shoot (Desmond Mason). However, Allen is a guy who commands max money but doesn’t provide max results, which is why the ’05 Allen re-sign gets a +3.

[+1] 7/03 – He did a fair job landing two serviceable players in the unspectacular Nick Collison (#12) and the wispy Luke Ridnour (#14), but neither guy has developed into an established starter. In that draft, Sund passed on the likes of David West, Boris Diaw, Leandro Barbosa and Josh Howard. He’d trade both Collison and Ridnour for any of those guys in a heartbeat.

[-14] – In the next three drafts, Sund picked three project centers: Robert Swift (#12) in ’04, Johan Petro (#25) in ’05 and Saer Sene (#10) in ’06. In drafting these guys, he passed on Al Jefferson, Josh Smith, Delonte West, Tony Allen, Kevin Martin, David Lee and Marcus Williams. Swift is injured while Petro and Sene are combining for a dreadful 7.5 points and 5.4 rebounds this season. What a brutal draft run.

[trade: +3, re-sign: +1] 2/06 – Turning short timer Vladimir Radmanovic into Chris Wilcox was a nice move, though he hasn’t developed into a 15/10 guy like the Sonics hoped. The team may eventually regret re-signing him last summer.

[+1] 2/06 – Sund acquired Earl Watson for Reggie Evans, trading toughness in the frontcourt for toughness in the backcourt. I’m convinced that Watson can anchor a bench, but he’s not yet a starter.

[-5] 2/07 – Sund’s biggest mistake was not to trade Rashard Lewis before the deadline after deciding not to sign him to an extension before the season. Now it looks like Lewis will opt out this summer, which means the Sonics may get nothing in return for their stud swingman.

Synopsis? He can't draft, but seems to do decent in free agency. If it wasn't bad enough that the links next to the article are stories about the Hawks losing out on their 1st two choices, it looks like we got Billy Knight 2.0. But hey, I'm not complaining, at least Billy Knight is gone. Sund '08! YES WE CAN!!!

The Fix Is In

I know they want Lakers/Celtics, but this is ridiculous...

Mamba said there was no foul, so I guess there's no foul.

May 26, 2008



I love my friends, they are among my most prized possessions. However, everyone I meet is not my friend, and since I am mean to my friends, you can only imagine how I treat people I randomly meet. The following is something I stumbled across that describes the way I feel about other poeple:

If you are not smart, not funny, or simply don't add to the collective discourse, you will be beaten like a Russian bride and sent on your way.

This is not quashing dissent. This is the cold boot of failure kicking you straight between the eyes. Just because the American educational system has taught you that everybody is a winner, and that you have some twisted right to have your opinion not only heard, but respected, doesn't make it true.

May 22, 2008

One More Chance

Okay NHL, here we go. Your dream match-up. The one that could actually save hockey. The franchise with the biggest United States following, one of the original six, versus The Franchise, Sid the Kid, featured on every piece of promotional material the League puts out. Is it safe to say that if this doesn't work nothing will? I know I'll be watching the Stanley Cup Finals, no matter what!

I mean, if I can find it. And if there isn't an NBA game on. Or anything good on ESPN Classic. Oh, but the NFL Network has been playing the best of the past season, so if nothing is good there, then I'll be watching the Cup, no matter what.

Prediction (Like anyone cares): Wings in 6.

May 20, 2008

Under the Table, Over the Line

...What y'all mean? Handlin' since a teen, like LeBron or Sebastian, high school graduates. Straight to the league, I ain't waitin' for my knee to blow, yesterday I was needin' this dough. Get it? I was kneadin' this dough...
- Jay-Z, Dead Presidents 3

Well, well, well. The ugly (some would say inevitable) repercussions of Big Poppa Stern's age limit have finally reared their heads in the form of 1 and done USC star, OJ Mayo.

(Important to note, if I name my son OJ for some reason, there is NO WAY I would let him attend USC, under any circumstances. OJs have had a rough run there.)

Anyway, the monetization of non-professional basketball in America has roots WAY deeper than this age limit (ranking 8th graders, colleges signing 10th graders, the AAU programs), but Stern and co. pushed this fringe business to the forefront by adding the age restriction. Normally, high schools were more than willing to ignore fancy clothes, basketball camps, private coaches, as long as the banners hung in the rafters, and the seats were filled on game day. Now, with the advent of the required year in college, these opportunist leeches have to keep their hooks in an extra year, and under the microscope of the NCAA.

Now, of course you'll get the points that would appear to be outside of all of this, like Oden and Durant, posterboys for the age limit (it would seem), but for the vast majority of players, the temptation is too great, and is there for far too long. I understand the reason Mr. Stern implemented such a policy, because for every LeBron or Kobe, there are 20 kids who never get picked up, and have forfeited a shot at playing for the NCAA. Plus, there is more money to be made on rookies if they are commodities and name brands coming out of the tournament than if they are unknown high schoolers.

I get all that.

All I'm saying is that the abject horror and outrage is a complete over reaction. Everyone involved in basketball has been aware of these practices for years, and if they really weren't, then shame on them. Hopefully, this will be the beginning of the cleaning up of amateur basketball, restoring some purity to a sport so sullied by the underhanded dealings of those wanting to make money on the dreams of children.

Or, it will lead to us as a society turning another blind eye until the next one-and-done star gets exposed. I suspect the latter.

UPDATE: Liars.

Tragedy on the Track

Who cares that a horse died at the Derby? This man, a real person, could have been killed at the Preakness.

UPDATE: Damn YouTube took down the video. But here are pictures!

May 19, 2008

NBA Draft Lottery

And I couldn't care less. Not just because our first rounder goes to Phoenix because of the Joe Johnson deal, but also because for the first time in ten years, we made the playoffs. That's right, it's been 10 years since this:

Get this shirt at where you can also find OLASB (Oh Look, A Sports Blog) semi-official attire.

PS. Check out the store at the bottom of this page.

May 14, 2008

Wait, What?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if the WNBA was playing in my very own back yard, I would close the blinds. This commercial seems to be affirming my sentiments, but it was brought to you, allegedly, by the WNBA. Could this be the beginning of David Stern bringing down his pet project covertly? If they name Isaiah Thomas the new commissioner, you have your answer.

I don't have a WNBA tag for my posts, and I intend to keep it that way. Should this get a basketball tag?

May 9, 2008

6 Steps to a Healthy Relationship

As has been pointed out, I avoid relationship/personal stuff on this blog. Mostly because I am historically poor at relationship/personal stuff. However, I came across this today, and will be using it as a rubric for relationships from here on out. .

1. Is she doing something that bothers you?
Yes -- Stop here. Address the issue like an adult, resolve it with her. Move to #2.
No -- Skip to #3.

2. Does the outcome of #1's resolution give you peace of mind?
Yes -- Move to #3.
No -- Go back to #1.

3. Is there anything else that's bothering you?
Yes -- Go back to #1.
No -- Go to #4.

4. Wait. Now, is there anything else that you think needs to be addressed in your relationship?
Yes -- Go back to #1.
No -- Go to #5.

5. Honestly, is there anything else at all?
Yes -- Go back to #1.
No -- Go to #6.

6. Congratulations. You're either lying to yourself because all relationships require honesty and work, or you've somehow met the perfect ying to your yang, and you are blissfully the exception to this rule. Do you think that you're done?
Yes -- Everyone is wrong sometimes. Go back to #1.
No -- Welcome to reality. Go back to #1.

There. All of your relationship concerns solved in 6 easy steps. You're welcome.

May 8, 2008

You Stay Classy Planet Earth

Apparently, Charles Barkley has never seen Anchorman. Good thing for all of us, Ernie Johnson has.


Congrats to the Columbia Lions Baseball team, 2008 Ivy League Champs!!!

Full Story

May 7, 2008

One Down...

...and one to go! This is great, it's like I write it and they do it.

May 6, 2007. Billy Knight steps down.

Now, for Mike Woodson to either go away, or have the players step up and say he should stay. These are the only two options.

Heh. I get to tag this with "playoffs" because the Hawks were in the playoffs. Only in America!

May 6, 2008

Seis De Mayo

Doesn't quite have that same ring to it, huh? Once upon a time, I had a blog, and on this blog, I would do entries called Mid-Range Jumpers, where I would wax faux philosophic about the going ons in the sporting world. I guess I'll try to bring it back.

  • Who says the public flogging is out of style? The Hawks put up a valiant effort, but they just couldn't stand in the face of the Celtics in Boston. But, they gave us hope for next long as we get a new GM and a new coach.
  • I love the NFL off-season. Cedric Benson and people who act even REMOTELY like him are the reason why.
  • PETA is again proving to be my least favorite interest group. It was just a horse. Go away.
  • No problem with KB24 getting the MVP, but I hope CP3 made it close. His dismantling of the Mavs, and his current show against the Spurs is an interesting case.
  • Roger Clemens. Ew. Led to the funniest line of Bill Simmons' chat last week though:
Brad (Detroit, MI): Clemens 20K game on ESPN Classic right now.
Bill Simmons: Mindy McCready was five during this game.
  • Recent Steelers draft pick Rashad Mendenhall was robbed at gunpoint recently. Welcome to the NFL, where you will be paid a ridiculous salary, but there is no set protection for you. Screw up, and we'll penalize you before a trial, but you better hope that new bullseye is unseen by most.
  • Maybe D'Antoni would like to coach a bunch of young, super-athletic overachievers? Huh?
  • Or Avery Johnson? Or Lenny Wilkens? Okay, maybe not Lenny again.
  • Best of luck to the Gehrig Division winning Columbia Lions baseball team as they vie for the Ivy League Title today and tomorrow at Dartmouth.
  • What the hell Marvin Harrison? Has Peyton Manning gotten to you that bad?
  • REVISED NBA playoff predictions: Celtics in 6, Pistons in 5, Lakers in 5, Hornets in 6. These don't replace my original guesses, just wanted to give my input since I am usually wrong.
  • How do I reeeeeach these kids?

Well, that's it for now. I've been working hard, and will be rewarding myself with my first ever Vegas trip this summer. Never have I been in one place that so caters to all my vices at once. Plus, I'm going with my degenerate friends who do nothing but egg me on to do stupid things. Plus, a bar owner I know will be staying at the same hotel as town for a friend of HIS bachelor's party. Plus, we're flying in on Friday the 13th. Looking at all these factors, the following exchange said it best.

Me: Is this just a perfect storm?

Jolson: It's already a N'oreaster.