Dec 25, 2008

Nez.

So, I try to do a lot of things on this blog. Mostly get sports stuff off my chest, and be funny about it. I was bored at home and going through some old posts, and realized that I fail in both those endeavors more often than I'd like to admit. Reading these posts made me realize that not only is what I write not that informative, but that I'm not even the funniest contributor to this blog.

Enter Daniel Neczypor.

Even his name is funny-looking. I mean, a "czyp" combo? Why not throw in a "q" for good measure? Anyway, here are some of the highlights of having funny friends comment on what you write.

On the Rockies using Josh Beckett's ex-girlfriend to sing the National Anthem:
Though moderately funny, I must say that is a severe hit below the belt. Next season when Jon Lester gets the start are they going to have Large Cell Lymphoma Appreciation Day?

It's cool though, the Sox already hired Bill Belichick to steal Cleveland's signs for tonight's game anyways.
On my hatred of "Title Town USA":
Digging my car out of a snow bank is clearly easier than having to say "Go Hawks/Falcons" every weekend.

But I mean the Thrashers are sweet, right?
On a discussion about college football:
A couple points:

First, Pete Carroll is the Rick Petino of NCAAFB. he has great head of hair, is reasonably handsome, flamed out while coaching a Boston sports program, and wins on strength of talent, not strength of strategy - i.e. give Reggie Bush the rock and let him run dive plays. I'll leave it at that before I start to get worked up about how lucky the Patriots are to be rid of him and turned themselves into the most dominant sports franchise in the history of sport.

Next, don't sell yourself so short Palmer. The South has a lot more to offer than the 3 you mentioned - for example: relaxed assault rifle laws, the concept of secession, lack of general dentistry, the blues, and mosquitoes the size of kitty hawks. I think I just made Mark Richt's recruiting pitch for next season.
On my appreciation for Bob "The General" Knight:
Ok, listen. Coach Knight integrity winning character moral fiber blah blah blah.

Can't somebody please just step up to the plate and admit that Bobby Knight is a huge dickhead?
On my Mid-Season report on the NBA:
The "death valley" of sports between the Super Bowl and the NCAA tournament has given me some time to reflect on things.

I've realized that there are some things and life that are more important than the Patriots. Namely, the Celtics.

HA! PUT THAT IN YOUR CIGAR AND SMOKE IT ATLANTA!

Being from Massachusetts is so awesome it's almost difficult.
On someone ELSE on my blog reminding him the Pats lost the Super Bowl:
You are clearly outclassed, out informed, and outdated. While you had an amazing observation that the Patriots got beat in the Super Bowl, you bring little else to the table...

...I heard there are some division 3 teams looking for analysts, go ahead and forward your resume.

Not only were the 72 dolphins a product of another era of sports history, I can only assume that you are the product of our own: the type when wide out's run 4.3's, linebackers can close the gaps on 4-backs that run 5-10-5's in 3 flat, and linemen that have a vertical of 38+.

Jonathan, not only are you ignorant, you are outdated. I'm sure your old-man made his high school hall-of-fame passing 450+ yards, but in today's reality, 450 is a freshman year statistic.

Buy a clue, and attend a NE prep school, where kids with nuts that drop beyond their ovaries compete.

Neczypor Over and Out.
Later that day:
Yeah I was hammered when I wrote that. Sorry Jonathan I'm sure you're an alright guy.
On the Olympic basketball roster:
Scalabrine didn't make the cut so I'm going to pull for Iran.
On the Olympics in general, and my assertion that baseball is a silent movie villan:
I figured it's been too long since I posted on here, so I compiled a list:
The Best Things About The Olympics You Haven't Noticed:

1) The truly blue chip announcing during women's handball.

2) The fact that NBC is playing along with China's "17 year-old" female gymnasts.

3) USA basketball vs. Angola. Kind of like having Conan the Barbarian fight Woody Allen.

4) Did I mention how air-tight the color guy was during women's handball?

5) The cheerleader/cowgirl hybrids lining the track during the opening ceremonies.

6) George W. Bush mispronouncing the president of Russia's name while interviewing with Bob Costas.

7) Come to think of it, all of GWB's interview with Bob Costas.

8) Powerlifting being scheduled to perfectly coincide with Sunday Brunch.

9)The combined shock and awe advertising campaigns by Nike, Gatorade and Under Armour.

10) The Chinese "Weather Alteration Bureau" taking full credit for favorable weather on 8/8/08.

On a completely unrelated topic, baseball isn't a sinister silent movie villain, I picture baseball as the uncle who gets too drunk on Thanksgiving and passes out on the couch, inevitably over staying his welcome, but you can't really get too mad at him because you won't see him again for a long time.
An email regarding his attack on another commenter on the blog:
Haha that kid had it coming... I GOTTA DEFEND THE COMMONWEALTH!
I love my friends. I really do. Merry Christmas, and may Santa bring friends as funny into your life.



God Bless.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

its only fair to honor such an american this holiday season.

NEZ mix in a comment meat!!!!

-Barso

Glav said...

nez is the only man i would dawn pearls, disguise my "mixed" heritage, and vote republican for.

DNasty said...

I have to say I'm moved and honored, Daniel. So I guess this means I should keep posting on the website huh?

DPalm66 said...

Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes.

Glavin, I'm hurt you wouldn't do that for me.