"Can I get a "Palmer comes to New York" countdown?"
Ask, and ye shall receive.
"I know I got no chance if Kobe Bryant has never won it."
-- Cavs forward LeBron James, on his MVP candidacy this year compared to others.
1. Must not be affiliated (even if only in name) with the city of New York.
2. Must have been in the playoffs twice in the past five seasons (sorry, I've done the long suffering losers thing, and I can't get back into that kind of relationship. I'm just not ready.)
3. Preferably a warm weather city, so that I can see them play anytime of year, and be able to sit through a game.
4. Must not be the Chargers.
5. At no point can the franchise have been to referred to as, "America's Team."
6. There must be no chance this team will move to Canada in the next 5 years (we're looking at you, Buffalo).
7. No overbearing psychotic ownership.
8. No place described as a dynasty; I need a new team, I'm not a shameless front runner.
Before I dive into the NBA’s All-Star Saturday Night, I would be remiss not to commentate on this captivating Gonzaga-Memphis game, marred by the Gonzaga coach playing for overtime at the end of regulation. The sporting gods have recognized this slap in their faces, and John Calapari remains the coach of a top-10 team.
Quick recap of All-Star Friday:
Chris Paul dropped 16 points, 17 assists, and 9 steals in Friday night's rookie/sophmore game. And we didn't draft him. How bout a nice, slow clap for the Hawks front office? Never failing to disappoint. And the celebrity game should never, ever happen again. That is all.
This diary is dedicated to Andre Igodala, who was a victim of grand larceny last year, allowing the world’s mightiest midget a win in what was the premier event of All-Star weekend. I won’t be covering the under card for a variety of reasons; the Shooting Stars competition involves the WNBA, and therefore shouldn’t be happening in the first place, the 3-point contest doesn’t matter because Larry Legend isn’t in it, and the Skills Competition decided to include Chris Paul in place of Steve Nash, but the selection committee didn’t have the good sense to follow suit for the All-Star game itself. I’m a little bitter. So, without further ado, the main event, the NBA Slam Dunk Contest!
: Hahahahahahaha…if you were watching at around , you know exactly what I’m talking about, if not, shame on you.
: One of the perks of working in a bar; I don’t have to hear the announcing over the dunks, though I’m sure the commentary is scintillating. Just scintillating.
: It is terrifying that three of the five judges this year could beat the field in their street clothes. I’ll let you pick the three.
Tyrus Thomas goes 1-3 in round one. I appreciate the “Nate Robinson Rule” clock provided the viewers at home. As for the dunk, the one he finally pulled off was good, but as TNT just reminded us, has been done before, and better. Deserving 37.
: Gerald Green, donned in the awful Celtic alternates, pulls off a GREAT dunk, utilizing Paul Pierce more than Doc Rivers has all year. My sleeper pick for the dub by the way.
: Poor Dwight. If the NBA had raised the goal for him, and then he had done this, he could have won it outright. As it stands, he’s too big to pull off something really transcendent.
: God, I hate Nate Robinson. But that was mildly impressive. Better than taking 12 attempts at a mediocre dunk and winning because he was short; young man got up. Standings after round 1, dunk one à Green, Robinson, Howard, Money Man
: The selection of judges will keep us from seeing a 50 tonight, unless Green can pull off an NBA Live-type dunk, or Nate keeps making them on his first attempt. Ya know, because he’s little. (Actual text from my buddy Mike: I love how
: Tyrus Thomas destroyed the net. That may be a dunk contest first, not to mention a pretty good dunk, wish he’dve jumped over Gordon without the twist, but still, no way he sees the next round.
: I rescind anything I have ever said about the big man’s ability to win this thing. Dwight Howard just showed us how. Wow. I’m actually more surprised by the 42 than the dunk/sticker slap: He just jumped 12 and a half feet. Up.
: Nate pulled another 45. That means that he’ll be in the finals. Because he’s little. Again.
: Why use a cardboard standee when you’ve got the real Nate here? I hope Gerald kicks him in the face.
: No such luck, but he combined a Dee Brown reference with a Dee Brown throwback over Nate Robinson. We’ve got our finalists.
: Last night, I would have sworn I saw Cheryl Miller and Reggie Miller in the same place, at the same time. But, you’d be amazed what they can do with special effects these days.
: Nate only took three dunks this time. I hope the judges think that this matters this year. I was hoping the “Nate Robinson Rule” would claim its first casualty.
: *Angry yawn* The perfect chance to crush this member of the lollipop guild, and Green comes with that weak nonsense. I’m so mad, I feel like Andre after making up 2 dunks and still losing last year.
: At least we have seen some fallout from last year’s debacle, the little man ran out of steam, while he was running out of time.
: Why is he still dunking; if that counted…wait a second, what’s the point of the rule if the time limit doesn’t matter? I hate the NBA. The only time I’ve asked for the announcers of a dunk contest be turned up, so I can know what happened.
: Two things: I contend that I was right about the 50 point thing; that was not a 50-worthy dunk, it was good, even great, but no where near transcendent. Secondly, at least the Celtics won something this year; because
"I told the investigators I injected three people -- two of whom I know confirmed my account. The third is sitting at this table." -- Brian McNamee
"Andy Pettitte is my friend. He was my friend before this. He'll be my friend after this. And again, I think he has misheard." -- Roger Clemens
If I walked in here, and it was even-steven, you and Mr. McNamee, I must admit that the person I believe most (pause) is Mr. Pettitte.
I've listened to you very carefully. And I take you at your word. And you're telling me that Andy Pettitte is an honest man, and his credibility is pretty much impeccable. … You said you were misunderstood. But all I'm saying is, it's hard to believe. It's hard to believe your story.
I hate to say that... You're one of my heores. But it's hard to believe you.