Feb 15, 2008

This Just In...


Breaking news; Falcons GM/Management hate fans.

Falcons release seven players, including 5-time Pro Bowler Alge Crumpler. Good. Now I can officially give up on them, and they can't hurt me in the draft when they throw away our top 10 pick, and continue giving the middle finger to the fan base.

I'm overreacting because of anger, but if anything, I am closer than ever to revoking my devotion as a fan of the Atlanta Falcons. That said, I am open to hear cases to become a fan of another NFL team, with the following caveats:

1. Must not be affiliated (even if only in name) with the city of New York.

2. Must have been in the playoffs twice in the past five seasons (sorry, I've done the long suffering losers thing, and I can't get back into that kind of relationship. I'm just not ready.)

3. Preferably a warm weather city, so that I can see them play anytime of year, and be able to sit through a game.

4. Must not be the Chargers.

5. At no point can the franchise have been to referred to as, "America's Team."

6. There must be no chance this team will move to Canada in the next 5 years (we're looking at you, Buffalo).

7. No overbearing psychotic ownership.

8. No place described as a dynasty; I need a new team, I'm not a shameless front runner.


Let the bidding for my fan heart, nay my fan SOUL begin today...

2 comments:

Rashad said...

The Titans welcome you to the fold. We may not be on the coast but we did hit 70 in December. Forgive us for the unproven quarterback and No star wide receiver to speak of but we do run the football and play defense. Also, our trouble makers just like to make it rain at the strip club, we stay clear of the federal crimes and PETA. (and lets not be hypocrits who hasn't thrown a couple of dollars more than they should have at the strip club) So with that being said we look forward to you making the trip up I-24 to Adelphia. Ya boy already has some cowboy boots and hat waiting on you.

DPalm66 said...

Your descriptions of the offense reminds me woefully of the Falcons 2 years ago. But, this is the most impassioned and logical pitch I've heard thus far.

Plus, the uniforms are eerily reminiscent of the Shoop-era Columbia University uniforms. Which is nice.