Aug 28, 2008

Welcome Back...

To the same old place that we've laughed about. Welcome back...

He's back!

Aug 23, 2008

However Many Down...

And *yawn* one to go. Is there any doubt in how this story ends? Jose Calderon isn't even going to show up for this beatdown, which will likely eclipse the whipping we hung on Spain during pool play. I don't even think I'm excited for this.

Aug 22, 2008

Kiss the Ring

Some people were worried about our ability to run the world like we have. As I type, we're in the middle of merking Argentina, and on the fast track to meeting Spain in the Gold Medal game. As the title of the blog implies, I don't ask for much from the rest of the world.

Just kiss the ring. Bitches.

Aug 21, 2008

RIP Gene Upshaw

We may not yet have guaranteed salaries, but without one of the most influential men in NFL history, we wouldn't have free agency. Rest In Peace to the Hall of Fame head of the NFLPA.

A full bio and remembrance can be found at the the Pro Football Hall of Fame homepage.

I Can't Prove It Didn't Happen

What is the likelihood this conversation took place? 85%? 90%?

Aug 20, 2008


I wrote the following a year ago, the first thing that ever appeared on this stupid's still true now. Good luck to the Columbia Lions who started camp today.

For the first time in ten-odd years, my end of summer will not be punctuated by the coming of football training camp. For the first time, my August will not be defined by two-a-days, the odor of mildewed socks, and post-practice dips in the ice bath. For the first time, I won’t be surrounded by my friends, my teammates, my brothers, as we work towards the goals we set forth for ourselves.

On the one hand, I’m not under the punishing August sun, which beats down the same from New York City to College Station, Texas to Cocoa Beach, Florida. I’m not driving a sled across a field, or taking on rushing defensive tackles in one-on-one drills, or running sprints after practice. I’ll never ride a bus to Florida again, never spend all my time away from the field in a meeting room, or start fast and finish faster. I’ll never again wake up scared. On the one hand, I don’t have to do these things ever again.

On the other hand, I never get to.

We all miss playing (winning) games, clean out blocks, great throws and catches, amazing picks, and knock out hits. That’s universal; everyone mentions this stuff in what they miss from the game. But, I think it is more than just the good times former players miss. Gone is the grind of the weight room, the tedium of the meeting room, but a part of everyone who has ever put on pads, or laced up cleats, or picked up a ball misses the part of the game that goes unseen. In some sort of masochistic way, we all enjoyed the grind, the hardness, the sacrifice. It is one of those unique things in life that you detest as you are in the midst of it, but the second it’s gone, you feel like almost a part of yourself is missing. Today, I’ve traded my life as a student athlete for something else; something that, to be honest, doesn’t even feel like me. My cleats for dress shoes, my playbook for a laptop, I’m reminded of this shift every time I walk into my new apartment, as my helmet stares back at me. Some people call this growing up, entering the next phase of my life. I don’t yet know what to call it, all I have known is what came before. And I miss it.

Aug 18, 2008

Free Fantasy Advice

From Marques Colston.

You're welcome.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Have we all seen the Dark Knight at least once? Good. Now, the trailer attached to the beginning of the 2nd highest grossing film of all time is for a movie coming next spring called Watchmen. I could tell you what it is about, but I tried that this weekend, and someone got mad at me for 'spoiling the movie.'


It's based on a graphic novel over 20 years old. Did you know they kill the monkey at the end of "King Kong"? And that 'Rosebud' was a sled? Or that the ship sinks in "The Titanic"? Anyway, it is easily the most celebrated graphic novel of all time, and you should all read it, then go see the movie 1000 times. The trailer is below, along with a link that breaks down the trailer scene by scene. Do I seem excited?

According to IMDB...the only place I could find that doesn't 'spoil' the movie...

In a gritty and alternate 1985 the glory days of costumed vigilantes have been brought to a close by a government crackdown, but after one of the masked veterans is brutally murdered an investigation into the killer is initiated. The reunited heroes set out to prevent their own destruction, but in doing so discover a deeper and far more diabolical plot.

Who watches the Watchmen?

Aforementioned link.

I Hate My Friends

*Warning: This is an unbelievably nerdy rant post. I promise to start making fun of sports, but I have to get this off my chest. You have been warned.*

One of my good friends PK has been pressuring me to dive into the cultural phenomenon that is the NBC vehicle Heroes. He knows I like comic books, and superpowers and all that jazz, so he figured it would be right down my alley. I have resisted for four main reasons:

  1. I do like comic books. Alot. In fact, I would ascertain that my level of comic book nerdiness would drive me to look for and tear apart plot holes inherent to the story.
  2. Jeph Loeb is intimately involved. He's done well in the past, with Batman: Long Halloween, and Batman: Hush, but recently? He brought me Ultimates 3. Damn you Loeb.
  3. There are only a certain number of stories that are able to be told (thank you Akira Kurosawa), and I guaruntee that these idiots will retell ones I've read better elsewhere.
  4. Did I mention Jeph Loeb? The man whose latest contribution to comic books is this? Seriously? You colored him a different color? Someone get this man another Eisner.

But, being an idiot and not listening to myself, I watched most of the first season. And you know what? I was 100% right. Teeming with plot holes (wait, how do Claire's powers work), exceedingly poor acting (I want Peter to explode. And never come back), and atrocious writing (Loeb...), this series is exactly what I didn't need to see. Thanks for nothing PK.

Aug 15, 2008


The Wire Season 5 was released on DVD Tuesday. You need this series in your life.

Happy Friday

New Jay-Z song, debuted at the the MSG stop of Kanye West's latest tour.

Aug 14, 2008

(Pre)Ranking the SEC, Part 2

*Preemptive edit: I suck at math, so I'm taking the final records off of these predictions. If someone good at math would like to help me, feel free*

NCAA Football kicks off before the NFL officially starts, so I've decided to do a preview of SEC football, since I care the most about it, and I irrationally hate all other conferences. That said, here's a look at how I think the best conference in the nation shakes out:

SEC East:

6. Vanderbilt
Yeah. Well, I mean. They got a team, kinda. They are what we thought they were, okay? Seriously, I think this is a squad that builds on the successes of last year, and the dynamic coaching, and really makes some national noise. Oh, no wait. That is the basketball team.

5. Kentucky
High-powered offense minus capable quarterback = no where near the Cinderella season of last year. Rich Brooks' boys are lucky to be avoiding the teeth of the SEC West in the crossover games, enabling them to squeak out a SEC win or 2. But nothing else.

4. Tennessee
Still in that awful color orange, the Vols face an uphill battle this season. Their coach is on the hotseat after winning the East last year, and this season won't be any kinder to him. An early date at UCLA, coupled with trips to Auburn, Athens, and Columbia also bode quite unkind for the Volunteers, but maybe things break their way again, and they can back into the SEC Title game one more time. Maybe not.

3. South Carolina
The 'Ol Ball Coach has pulled some sort of schedueling magic this year. It seems every game that you think will be a challenge for his squad seems to happen in their house. The games will still be tough, but it is always nice to get to play at home. I still think that Spurrier's style of coaching doesn't quite fit the personnel there, and if he decides on 1 quarterback for the season, it'll be the first time.

2. Georgia
Preseason number 1? Check. Sports Illustrated cover? Check. Now, all we need is for the whole team to get put on the Madden cover, and complete the jinx trifecta. The injury bug has been especially prevalent, as has the Clarke County courthouse. Mix in all these factors, add the toughest schedule in the nation, and you've got some broken hearted Bulldogs.

1. Florida
Has a team with a returning Heisman winner ever been under the radar going into a season? Well, mark this down as the first time. Throw in the vengeance factor of a very talented team, add in the fact that they've added actual running backs besides Tebow, a defense that is mad at being embarrassed by a rudderless Michigan team in the bowl game, and an easy non-conference schedule that includes Citadel very late in the season, and you have one National Championship bound team.

(Pre)Ranking the SEC, Part 1

*Preemptive edit: I suck at math, so I'm taking the final records off of these predictions. If someone good at math would like to help me, feel free*

NCAA Football kicks off before the NFL officially starts, so I've decided to do a preview of SEC football, since I care the most about it, and I irrationally hate all other conferences. That said, here's a look at how I think the best conference in the nation shakes out:

SEC West:

6. Arkansas
Darren McFadden isn't walking through that door! Felix Jones isn't walking through that door! Unfortunatly for the Razorback faithful, it appears that Bobby Petrino is walking through that door...for now at least. He's taking over a team that has gaping holes in lots of positions, and is just plain weak on defense. They skated to 4-4 conference record last year because of that dynamic running game. Did he think McFadden and Jones were coming back again this year?

5. Mississippi State
While an impressive 4-4 SEC record had them Bowl Bound last year, the 2008 slate sees them having to travel a lot for their tougher games. Trips to LSU, Tennesee, and Alabama don't bode well for the OTHER Bulldogs' SEC record, but an easy non-conference schedule could have them poised for another bowl bid.

4. Ole Miss
This is how you bounce back kids. The first team on this list that didn't go 4-4 in the SEC last year...because they were too busy going 0-8. No matter, Houston Nutt and company can only improve this year, and improve they shall. Lead by BenJarvus Green-Ellis' running attack, and Jevan Snead FINALLY taking snaps, look for this team to rise, and rise quickly.

3. Alabama
Year two of the Nick Saban project is going to be full of new faces; not just because Alabama is finally not under NCAA sanction, but also because he has brought in one of the strongest freshman classes in the nation. While the maturation of John Parker Wilson will help, an opening loss to Clemson will be an inital setback, the tough road games will keep them from finishing higher than third, even if I think they are going to win the rivalry game with our number 2 team.

2. Auburn
New offense. New QB. Same old speed on defense. These are the recipies for a great showing by the Tigers in 2008. With a mostly favorable scheduele, look for the Tigers to gain momentum early. Plus, they get their two toughest tests at home, one early (LSU) and one late (UGA). The time in between these two tough games is a real trap for this team to get complacent, as they have to travel to Morgantown and deal with the always tough Mountaineers. If they can avoid the injury bug, and handle two big rivalry games to close the season, look for a good bit of NC talk in Auburn, Alabama.

1. LSU
Okay, there's no point ignoring the elephant in the room. Or should I say, the Tiger not in the room. Yes, there is a gaping hole at quarterback. Some would say an overbearing, inignorable, festering wound. But I'm not that mean. It's the rest of this team that has me excited to put them at number 1 in the West; same dominating defense, same exciting skill positions. Plus, they're throwing an ex-Ivy Leaguer under center, at least to start. How can you not cheer for that?

Aug 13, 2008

What Up Pops?

Fantasy Football '08 Name Update

This happened days ago, but just caught my eye. Been too busy cranking out an SEC preview, following the Russian aggression into Georgia, and doing actual work. My bad. Anyway, apparently LeBron addressed Bush Jr. as Pops. There has to be a fantasy football name in here somewhere. I believe together, we can find it. YES WE CAN!!!

Story Here.

Apparently, there's been some backlash that James acted so nonchalantly; I don't see the big deal. Bush Jr. is just a President (biting tongue), and LeBron is a freaking King. What did you expect?

(credit for link to Patrick "I run WAY TOO MUCH" Reaves)

Aug 12, 2008


Fantasy football is upon me, and I'm struggling for a truly innovative name. Early front runners include:

Kobe, Tell me How my Ass Taste

New England Videographers

BC Football Legacy

The Gregarious Raconteur

The Flying Pacmen

The Redeem Team


Scalabrine/Dickeau '08

Aug 11, 2008

Free At Last!!!

With the beginning of preseason games, and the end of the Bret Favre epic poem, we as a nation have finally been liberated from the annual hostage crisis that is baseball season. Plus, not only has football swung in to save us, but he brought his friend and teammate the Olympics to rescue us from baseball's evil mustached clutches.

(I always picture evil as the over-acting silent film villain, twirling his mustache as he ties the damsel in distress to the railroad tracks, in the path of the oncoming train.)

Thus liberated, let's look at some of the highlight story lines that are looming over the NCAA and NFL seasons:

- Preseason polls mean nothing. Nothing. Early injuries at USC, Cal, Florida, UCLA, and Clemson already show that.

- Were Kansas and Mizzou one year wonders? Or is this the beginning of a changing of the guard in the Big 12?

- This is Ohio State's best team in the last three years; are they not going to play for a title because of the past two years failures?

- Early look Games to Watch For That Aren't Rivalry Games (G2W4TARG): Alabama vs. Clemson in Atlanta, App State at LSU (just kidding, Michigan), Ohio State at USC, Some team from Athens at Arizona State University...and that's just the first 4 weeks!

- Hard Knocks just isn't the same this year; the TO and Pac Man stuff is solid, but the Romo bits seem too staged. I do know I want more Tank Johnson, bonus points if the team takes an outing to a shooting range, and Tank isn't allowed to shoot.

- The biggest loser in the whole Green Bay/Brett Favre saga? Aaron Rogers. It would have been bad if Brett had come back as a coach, because his shadow would have been colored by his standing on the sideline. It would have been worse if Brett had come back and won the job. The worst case scenario is where Brett desperately wants to come back, but the team makes the smart move (more on that later...) and lets him go somewhere else. Now, Aaron is seen, fairly or not, as the man who drove out the Legend. Good luck kid.

- The Falcons looked more than half bad Saturday night, and Matt Ryan's over-celebrated touchdown was thrown late and behind the receiver. And people were happy. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Atlanta Falcons!!!

- Green Bay made the best decision they could with the situation before them. From a football standpoint, it is a no-brainer that Favre gives you the best chance to win, but as we all must remember, professional sports aren't about championships. They are about the bottom line, and as a business decision, this was the right one; the team had invested money in making Aaron Rodgers the face of the franchise, and they had to stand by that.

Finally, I was hyped for the Olympics, I really was. I was excited to watch the Redeem Team (stupid name and all) come through and crush everyone else on some 1992 throwback type ish, and mildly excited for the games as a whole. I mean, it is always nice to see the world competing, isn't it?

After last night?

I'm pumped like Al Pacino delivered his 'Peace With Inches' speech. How dare those dirty French Frogs say that they were here to 'crush the Americans'...if that's why you came, then you should have stayed home, son! Forget building international bridges, I want the red, white, and blue to scorch the Earth in Beijing! Utter domination! YES WE CAN!!!

*Real Life Edit* - Oh, and Russia using the stage of global unity as a smokescreen to attacking Georgia? Classic. I, for one, hope Russia re-emerges as a Superpower and helps restabilize global tensions.

Goose Bumps

No lie. Freaking goose bumps.