Dec 29, 2007
Dec 25, 2007
Dec 22, 2007
For more music news and whatnot, visit my little brother's blog right here.
Merry Christmas to everyone who reads this.
Dec 20, 2007
Thanks to everyone who tuned in to the Sports Watchers radio show on Monday; I’ll keep ya’ll posted on the next time I’m on. NCAA Bowl Season starts tonight, with
Quick fantasy update before this weeks picks; apparently, the fantasy gods have a sense of humor.
Steve went on to tie Cheese in the first round of the playoffs with his cheater team, and because Cheese had accumulated more total points over the course of the season, he was awarded the win, and the honor of being vanquished by me in the finals. Below are some of the reactions I got to this story of sportsmanship gone bad, and I’m glad to see that most people are upstanding, honorable people. Except for you Steve.
“Just read the blog about the Laney League. Awesome. You are the man. Finish him.”—Luke
“Wow. Can he be considered an evil genius or a criminal mastermind? Has he reached that level yet?”– Mike
“The story about your fantasy league is one of the most devious things i have ever heard. This could trump the Mitchell report as a bigger sports scandal. I’m sorry you have to go through that. Obviously sportsmanship isn't in the vocabulary of your ‘friend’.”—
Not to mention this comment from an obviously upset Matt Barsamian.
“If you need any help (I doubt that you do) in hunting down any one of these "people" that have done their best to ruin what is the SPORT of fantasy football, you let me know and I'll be on the next flight.”
Rest easy my friend, good has triumphed,
Still, this was all worth it to see the tie score on Wednesday morning, and a tiny asterisk denoting the tie-break.
Now, picks. Keep in mind, I have proven to have no idea what I am talking about all season. That said, home teams are in bold.
Flip flopped a couple of times with this one; the Steelers lost a tough, physical game last week in bad conditions, and now they’re expected to thrive in a track meet setting against a healthier Stephen Jackson just four days later? Nahhhhhhh.
Jax (-13) over
It’s the most wonderful time of the year: snow falling, Christmas trees up, the annual Tom Coughlin collapse. Ah, winter.
When is the last time that this game mattered? Seriously, it seems like if one of these teams is even DECENT, the other is awful. I need a secretary to look this kind of stuff up.
Remember way back in week 2 when these teams combined to score 96 points, and it was such a huge upset that the Browns beat the Bengals? Well, now that the Bengals are trying to get Marvin Lewis fired (more on that later) and the Browns can legitimately win the
KC (+4.5) over
Saints (-3) over Philly
I don’t care how good the Eagles looked last Sunday; the Saints are 3 months away from a signed, sealed confession that Reggie Bush is just not an every down back. He’s a gimmick, like he was in college. Which I’ve been saying since his last year on the
Indy (-7) over Texans
The Colts have literally nothing to play for, as they are locked into the 2nd position in the
Exactly one year after finishing in the cellar of the NFC South, the Bucs have locked up the division with two weeks left this year. In a division that sent exactly ZERO players to the Pro Bowl this year.
Snitches (+8.5) over
Terminators (-22) over Dolphins
Could have been historic. No nor’easter this week…so…
Washington (+6.5) over Minnesota
Todd Collins!!! Tavaris Jackson!!! The NFL Sunday Night on NBC!!!
Okay, things throughout the league are getting ridiculous; we’re in week 16, and no coach has been fired yet. Lovie Smith and Marvin Lewis don’t deserve to be on the hot seat? No one is calling for Scott Linehan or Cam Cameron’s heads? Brian Billick (loser of 8 straight) and Rod Marinelli (loser of 6 straight) aren’t packing bags??? What is going on here???
The unequivocally best show on television returns soon. If you haven't watched the previous four seasons, find a way to watch them before this one. The best thing to happen to American television ever is amazing, and you should get on board.
The Wire is a work of art, in the objective sense (as opposed to, "that's so good it's like a work of art"). It is an artist's viewpoint and his statement on our society. At least in my opinion, it is poignant because of its honesty and accuracy, in both its portrayal of what is, and its portrayal of what could be.
That's the season 5 trailer. If you're a fan, and it doesn't get you hyped, just pop those cyanide pills and take a good, long nap.
Some Garfield comic strips. Minus the Garfield. An excellent study of the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.
Dec 18, 2007
I must interrupt your regularly scheduled blog with a special announcement...
In case you missed last nights The Sports Watchers radio show, the entire thing is available for easy listening at www.thesportswatchers.com where you can hear me bemoan the current state of the Falcons future. I haven't heard it yet, so if I sound stupid, tell me so
...And now back to America's favorite long-running and rarely updated column format, the truly lost art of the Mid-Range Jumper!!
- The Mitchell Report has 'shockingly' outed Roger Clemens as a long time HGH and steroid user. Now, I don't really care about steroids in MLB anymore (attempting restraint) so I won't say any more (aw, to hell with it) I TOLD YOU SO!!!
- Sorry about that. Apparently A-Rod and his agent aren't talking; you ask me, Mr. Boras fell on the PR grenade for his client, a move that will pay off when he signs the next big thing in regards to the depth of his loyalty.
- The Suns handed the Spurs their first home loss last night, showing that Grant Hill really is a good fit for this team, having led Phoenix scorers with 22.
- Roy Williams was suspended today by the NFL for his horse collar tackle of Donovan F. McNabb, who might have saved his job by winning in Big D. Roy, if they make a rule to stop a tackle because you hurt someone with it, you might not want to keep doing it. Just my two cents.
- Florida State athletics is apparently embroiled in a cheating scandel that may touch many programs including (gasp) the football team. In other news, the sky is still blue.
- Dick Vitale will be undergoing vocal cord surgery. Sometimes the jokes write themselves.
- It doesn't matter who Tony Romo is or isn't dating come the playoffs: if they stumble down the stretch, and have to play at Green Bay, just go ahead and get ready for the battle of legendary seasons that will be Packers/Patriots.
- I am not cheering for the Terminators, but I have to admit this past Sunday was impressive. They basically shut up every talking head that said this team was the pre-Super Bowl winning Colts, because when they have to, they can be tough, physical and jam it down the other teams throats. Plus, the linebacking corps get to be paid less, as the balance of their game checks is covered in Social Security.
As we all wait anxiously for Bowl Season to begin December 20th, I for one am looking mostly forward to next season. Why am I so excited?
Knowshon Knows Football.
Great video of Moreno's performance against the evil Florida Gators. Hawaii doesn't stand a chance.
Dec 16, 2007
Sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words. Other times, words are worth a thousand...nevermind. I agree with Lawyer Malloy's edit of Petrino's letter, but to hear more about what I think on Week 15, and all things NFL, tune in to radio.thesportswatchers.com at 6:45 EST tomorrow, December 17, where I'll be guesting a 5 minute NFL segment, and generally make a fool of myself.
Oh, and the fantasy league we're going to be at least mentioning is my Columbia Football alumni one, not the league that was discussed here. Just to clarify.
See you there. Not really, I mean, it's a radio show, but I'll hear you there.
But I won't be hearing you either, will I? I guess you can hear me there...you know what I'm trying to say.
Dec 14, 2007
I am a competitive person, almost to a fault. This trait comes naturally to me, like breathing, and during any competition, I find myself willing to do almost anything to win. I mean, I wouldn’t throw dirt in the third baseman’s face during an old-man beer league softball game, but we all can’t be Vinny Marino, now can we? I grew up under the Palmer family rules of learning: get beat until you figure out how to something about it. This was applied in cards, dominoes, board games of all shape and size, basketball, and most recently, video games.
My parents own a Wii, as does my little brother at college. Over Thanksgiving, we thought that it would be a fun, family activity to get in a little post-dinner Wii bowling. Being the only person not armed with a Wii at home, I came into what would later be known as Armageddon with only my wits, and my indomitable will. We played a few games, some I won (resulting in me gloating mercilessly) some I lost (resulting in my sulking, and demanding we play again), but the last game will stick with me forever. 10 frames later, my little brother had hung a 299 on the rest of our unsuspecting family. I could have cried. Needless to say, I am determined to throw up a 300 come Christmas break. Or beat him up. Either will do.
I’ll keep you posted.
Now, I tell you that story, to tell you this story, but I must warn you: this is a tale of betrayal of the highest order, and if you are a fan of decency and fair play, this will only anger you, and you should turn back now.
Knowing most of you fairly well, I assume you’re still here.
One of my Fantasy Football Leagues is comprised of a bunch of guys I used to work with, whom I happen to stay in touch with fairly well. From the jump, this league was off to a shady start, as our League Manager, one Jordan Hammond, told NO
My rage blinded me to the world around me.
On the other side of the bracket, one of my good friends Cheese was set to face off against my sworn enemy, Steve “Satan” Martin. The details of our long standing rivalry will be shared in the Martin/Palmer Chronicles coming in the New Year, but the bottom line is that this has gone on for way too long. Steve backed into the playoffs, and was in line to get beaten by Cheese, setting the table for a final that I would win, but would enjoy, because of the 2 weeks of good natured trash talk that would ensue. Unbeknownst to me, Steve was putting into motion plans to derail everything.
I was enjoying a nice, home cooked meal at my parents house (one of the benefits of moving back to
Needless to say, I was not amused.
A 25 minute phone call later, I had called Steve every name in the book, and a few I made up. He was unswayed by my display of anger at his underhandedness, but did let one thing slip: he was in talks with a certain other member of our league to attain LDT. As I hung up, I was already calling the others who had helped him do this to me.
Skip: How dare you. For so long, we stood in defiance against this evil, and in one move, you undid all the good. It is for the best that you didn’t call me after the
Luke: The man who would trade LDT. I have always said that you are my most virtuous of friends, and our conversation proved it. VERBATIM: “The ongoing battle between good and evil, you and Steve, needs no outside influence. The scales must be balanced and I will not be one to tip them.” Hero.
Steve: Being competitive is one thing. Changing the rules of the game to fit you is a line not even I would cross. But then again, I am a person who believes in values and fair-play, while you are Satan himself. You will rue the day you restoked the fires of war between us. The kid gloves are off. Target.
As a show of “good faith” or something, Steve pulled some of his ringers for the first week of his playoff match-up against Cheese, and almost lost. He claims that I have brought down the thunder, by stating that I am not afraid of him, and that he will unleash the dogs of hell on me in the championship. My reply? Bring it.
Dec 13, 2007
I guess, in response to this e-mail from the desk of one Matthew David Barsamian:
We're all dying to know if there is going to be any "blogging" done on your end with regards to the worst (read: best) day in the history of Atlanta sports? Maybe an exclusive one-on-one with Vick via webcam in the slammer? Audio of a phone call with Petrino from his new penthouse in Fayetteville? Personally I'm looking forward to you breaking the "Marty Schottenheimer isn't dead, he's the new coach of the Falcons" story.
I hate my friends.
What a rough 48 hours. I had been meaning to write sooner, but I was rendered catatonic as the Atlanta Falcons’ world threatened to collapse upon itself. As far as the Vick verdict goes,
Now, I get to switch form defense to offense; Bobby “Lil’ Nicky Saban” Petrino. This is the utmost form of cowardice; this man (and I use that term in only the most scientific of senses) sent the players who bought into his philosophies and ways of playing a 50 word letter as he was attending a late-night news conference in Fayettesville. Congrats Hogs, you got a turncoat quitter for your team. How can these kids of U of A respect him now? When he tells them to fight through the bad, to finish what you start? His credibility is shot forever.
Lawyer Malloy said it best when he scratched out Petrino’s name at the bottom of the letter that was sent ot all the players, and wrote in red ink: COWARD
Since Roger Clemens was one of the names named in today’s Mitchell Report, it was interesting to watch the MAWSM (middle-aged white sports media) backpedal in the face of evidence that one of the biggest obvious steroid users in the game. Their complaints about the report? The sources were ‘dubious’ at best, and there are no failed tests to back up the story. Where was this requirement of proof when Bonds was being crucified the last few years? They sure aren’t calling for astricks on Clemens’ stuff in the Hall, now are they?
Picks below, home teams in bold
Cincy (-8) over San Fran
Pit (-3.5) over
Packers (-8.5) over RamsBrock Berlin!!
B’More (-3.5) over Phins
Terminators (-24.5) over Snitches
Doesn't matter...the Jets started all this nonsense.
With extreme prejudice.
Nawlins (-3.5) over 'Zona
Derek Anderson!! (I don't care how well he's playing, he's still Derek Anderson)
Indy (-10) over Oak
Soon-to-be traded Donovan McNabb
Phillip Rivers!! (How bad as he looked this year?)
Giants (-4.5) over
Chicago (+10) over
Dec 6, 2007
And the fact that the Celtics wore the below warm-ups before a road game, against their natural rivals, the Sixers, shatters that line, and has bought a timeshare in the realm of conciet. The fact that Philly felt the need to wear their championships on their backs, all three of them, just magnified the fact that the Celts had 16 banners ontheir backs.
I hate the entire city of Boston and the New England region. I hate the Bill Beli-Cheats. I hate the fact that the Sox will most likely land Johan beacuse Hal Steinbrenner is destined to outshine his dad as certifibly insane. I am learning to hate the PGA Tour. More than anything, I hate the happiness all this is undoubtedly giving Ward and Nez. I can only take solace in the fact that it is 60 degrees here in Atlanta, and both of them are most likely caught in a snow drift.
Dec 5, 2007
Why won’t boxing just die?
Gone are the days of Sugar Ray, Jack Dempsey and Billy Conn. We are much departed from the years of Forman, Frazier, and Ali. No one in a ten-block radius can name the current heavy weight champion, and why would they be able to? Boxing isn’t relevant anymore, and, frankly, no one cares. Well, we wouldn’t. Except for…
Damn you HBO. Damn you for sticking by what worked in making people care about PBF vs. De La Hoya earlier this year. Damn you for tricking me into watching again, and again caring about a fight. Do I know who is going to win Mayweather vs. Hatton? No. But I do know that I have watched these guys train, live, and prep for over a month now, and I am actually interested in the outcome. I don’t know if I’ll spring the money to pay for the fight, but at least now I’m thinking about it. Well met, HBO.
Now for week 14 picks, with home teams in bold.
Chicago (+3) over Washington
After the AMAZING coaching of Joe Gibbs last week (back to back time outs to freeze the kicker, essentially handing Buffalo 15 yards, and an invitation to win the game) I can only assume he will be kicking to Devin Hester as much as possible in some sort of encore.
Jax (-10) over Carolina
I would say that next year will be better for the Panthers, but historically, the team that was last in the NFC South one year is the first the next. A weird trend, yes, but weirder still that the Falcons futility this year could keep Carolina from being any good next year either.
Dallas (-11.5) over Detroit
Free…duh-duh-duh…Free fallin’…I hate Tom Petty, and I hate this team.
Packers (-10) over Oakland
Favre is healthy and back and against a moderate weather team in Lambeau in December. Sounds like the makings of a blow out. Especially when a McCown brother will be intimately involved. Don’t let last week fool you!
San Diego (pick) over Tenn
How is there no line on this game? Is the Vince Young that just wins games back? Will LT driving this team propel me to win my fantasy league?
G-Men (+3) over Philly
I love the Illadelph. The week they finally fire the worst GM in the history of sports (Billy King - Isaiah is making a push, but he needs to be there longer, and destroy more), but they welcome to town the division rival who spanked them earlier this year. Hopefully that poor boy won’t be starting at left tackle again, or it could be another very long night.
Tampa (pick) over Houston
Another pick-em. Grrrrrrr. Well, I think that whoever is the back up in Tampa is better than his counterpart in Houston, but I’ve been wrong before. Like, most of the time. So I went with the road team, because, as we all know, I have no idea what I’m doing.
Buffalo (-7) over Miami
Chasing history…and gaining on it quickly. There are reports of dissention within the Dolphins locker room. Can anyone guess why?
Cincy (pick) over St. Louis
This is getting ridiculous. Looks like a fun match-up on paper, only because so many of these players are big fantasy guys. But, the Rams let Chris Redman throw the Falcons back into the game last week, so I don’t know how much faith I have in them. Expect a shootout, with Cincinattica pulling out the win.
Niners (+8.5) over Minnesota
I know, the Vikings looked like gang-busters last week, but I remain unconvinced by Jackson, and this one dimensional offense has to stop at some time. Well they are playing a team that has zero dimensional offense, so who knows.
Seattle (-7) over Arizona
Terminators (-10) over Steelers
Okay, two straight weeks of not covering spreads, and barely beating teams. One week of listening to how this is the squad to knock them off. Didn’t we say the same thing about the Cowboys?
Cleveland (-3) over the Snitches
The only hope the Jets have is if the team somehow gains superhuman powers before next week. I was kind of joking when I told my dad that the Pats shouldn’t even bring the punter next week, but on second thought, I think it would send the right message.
Denver (-6.5) over Kansas City
The triumphant return of Damon Huard. Wait…
Indy (-9.5) over Baltimore
Ravens fans, you’re looking at a big let down after that Pats game. Emotionally, performance wise, the whole nine.
Nawlins (pick) over Atlanta
How are we subjected to this after the great game we had last week? How is there no line? I would literally give 20 points if they were asking; this is my Stone Cold Stunner, Hollywood Hogan, running leg drop pick of the season. Which means the Falcons will most likely win. I hate myself.
The most agonizing baseball moment since Bill Buckner's gaffe was Francisco Cabrera's series-winning single for Atlanta that killed Pittsburgh in the 1992 playoffs. Not only did the Pirates blow a ninth-inning lead, not only did Cabrera, a no-name, deliver the final blow, not only did comically slow Sid Bream somehow beat a Barry Bonds throw home, not only was it the Pirates' third straight October defeat ... but Bonds signed with the Giants a couple of months later, banishing the Pirates to small-market hell. They haven't been heard from since. The franchise was effectively murdered by one play.
It's funny because it's oh-so-true. And because I live in Atlanta. Not Pittsburgh.
Dec 3, 2007
"The natural order of college football has been restored." -- Todd Abrams
And, by God, he’s right. Remember earlier this year, with all the talking heads prognosticating about what could happen if USF, Kansas, or Hawaii were to play in the BCS National Title game? Well, all of that worked itself out in the end, as there are two apparently deserving teams in the National Title game. Apparently. Maybe.
*Allow me to preface this whole next section by admitting that I am a Georgia fan, but I also realize we were in no way going to the National Title game, so the call for reform stems not from that*
It is this lack of certainty that has everyone carrying pitchforks and torches, clamoring for a playoff system, or at least a plus-one game to decide the National Champion. Color me one of these teeming masses. This is a fundamentally flawed system that in 10 years of existence has undergone 7 changes in calculation, and seriously screwed up no less than 3 times. College football elicits the most passion nationally out of any sport, yet it is the only one with no definitive method of naming a champion. How does the #4 BCS team get leapfrogged on a weekend they did not play? Does that make any logical sense to anyone else? I understand that it is a mathematical equation, and that the win in a conference title game adds to the quality win total, but doesn’t it also go to say that if you were to win your conference title game by 2 touchdowns, when your opponent was the number 1 team in the nation, that it would be a more quality win than another conference title win? Or is that just too nuts for everybody?
The main arguments against the proposed playoff system is that it would extend an already long season, it would be hard for fan bases to travel, and of course, the money issue. The answer is the same to all three questions – drop all conference title games, drop the 12th game, take the 6 BCS conference champions, and 2 at-large bids, and play out the playoffs. The finale can still have a month of build up, as the semis would fall on what is now Heisman night…push that back a week and we’re all set. You can still populate your bowls with the other teams, or better yet, name the playoff rounds after big-bowl games. It’s not a perfect answer, but it’s better than what we got now.
And even if you don’t change the system, at least change some of the match-ups we’re stuck with this. Most of these BCS match-ups are going to be blowouts, and not at all interesting. I know that much was said about the tradition of certain bowls, but what if USC played Georgia in the Rose Bowl, while Hawaii face Illinois in the Sugar Bowl? You get two wide-open offenses clashing in Nawlins, while two historical football powerhouses battle it out in one of the most historic venues in sport, all the while giving me an excuse to go to LA. Out of the other three BCS games, Oklahoma/West Virginia actually looks interesting, while Virginia Tech will roll over Kansas. We’ll discuss the National Title Game (Snuff Film) at a later date. And as for last weeks number 1 team in the nation, those Mizzou Tigers? They’ll be slumming it in the Cotton Bowl with the Arkansas Razorbacks, and the look that will be on their faces when Darren McFadden comes barreling over, around, and through that ‘defense’? Priceless.
There is something to be said about the BCS: it gives us something to talk (read: complain) about each year around this time. Without it, how would we spend this stretch until Bowl Season is truly upon us? I bet Pat Forde’s head would explode if we ever do get to see a playoff system; that’ll be the newest pro-BCS argument, they’re sparing his life. This is all just idle talk anyway…
The BCS is still under contract until 2010.