It's a Thin Line...

There exists a fine line between being cocky and being confident.

And the fact that the Celtics wore the below warm-ups before a road game, against their natural rivals, the Sixers, shatters that line, and has bought a timeshare in the realm of conciet. The fact that Philly felt the need to wear their championships on their backs, all three of them, just magnified the fact that the Celts had 16 banners ontheir backs.

I hate the entire city of Boston and the New England region. I hate the Bill Beli-Cheats. I hate the fact that the Sox will most likely land Johan beacuse Hal Steinbrenner is destined to outshine his dad as certifibly insane. I am learning to hate the PGA Tour. More than anything, I hate the happiness all this is undoubtedly giving Ward and Nez. I can only take solace in the fact that it is 60 degrees here in Atlanta, and both of them are most likely caught in a snow drift.

The Big Three

“Not so fast, my friend.”
- Lee Corso, every fall Saturday I can remember in my life

Bet you’re wondering why I lead an NBA story with a quote from the most annoying man in college football. Well, since this summer started, we have been inundated with stories of how the Boston Celtics had bounced back from their cursed 2006-2007 season. Don’t believe there was a curse? Franchise patriarch Red Auerbach died just days before the season tipped off, just after the Celtics announced that for the first time in history, they would have cheerleaders (dancers, whatever gyrating females are called in the NBA) at home games. I’m not saying that’s why they were bad (Doc Rivers) I’m just saying it’s suspicious.

All summer, stories have run about the resurgence in ESPN the Mag, Sports Illustrated, Slam, Home and Garden, you name it. And throughout all these publications, someone has green-lit (haha) the use of the phrase “The Big Three.” Now, those of us who know anything about basketball know that The Big Three were Bird, McHale and Parrish, the nucleus of the 80’s Boston Celtics that collected 2 titles in three years. So far, this three of Pierce, Garnett, and Allen have looked good: Allen leads the team in scoring at 25 ppg, with Pierce chipping in 20. Garnett is doing his part, leading the team in rebounds, assists, blocks, and steals. But, there is a serious road block in the way of anointing them the “New Big Three”:

They’ve played two games.

I’ve heard two other, more appropriate names, and want to break down the two.

Perfect GPA: I like the message it sends to the kids, emphasizing scholastic excellence.
Instilling good values and morals in children…that’s what the NBA does, because the NBA Cares. But, I think it detracts from the REAL message here: that nothing matters more than the show, and people all over the country will sell out arenas to see them play…bringing me to my favorite of the nicknames.

The PGA Tour: It’s got everything: the obvious money draw, the promise of entertainment, the basketball tradition of updating something old into something new (Run-TMC, etc.). plus, they can even refer to road trips as golfing events: a tough West coast run through the three Texas teams might be the Masters, while a trip including, I don’t know, Milwaukee, Minnesota, and Portland would be akin to the Chrysler Open. Or something.

The PGA Tour: IT’S FANNNNNNNNTASTIC!!!