Sep 19, 2008

The Power of FU Money + + Week 3 Picks

Before you read this, I hope you have heard what Josh Howard was captured saying about the national anthem. My feelings aside, the response in the media has been hilarious, to say the least. Please, take the time to read some of the emails sent to Mark Cuban, which HE POSTED on his wonderful blog. I warn you, it gets pretty awful.

Defending one of your employees/players? Free. Keeping your email address public so that your fans can get in touch with you? Free. Posting the email addresses of the people who sent some of the most vile things I have ever read in my life? THAT my friends, is FU Money.


Welcome to this week's edition of the picks, brought to you by, one of the world's largest job finding websites. And, it's soon to be the homepage for a select number of NFL coaches. Here's a list of the hottest seat coaches, in the order I thought about them. Apologies to Mike Nolan, Romeo Crennell, and Rod'll be on the list before all is said and done, I just know it!

Lane Kiffen (1-1) : As I mentioned in the NFL preview thing, Al Davis tried to fire the young Mr. Kiffen after last season. What I didn't mention is that Lane tried, in turn, to fire Davis favorite defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, only he failed too. Which means these three men, attempted firings and all, have been working together. He may be the only coach trying to get fired, and look for him to succeed soon.

Marvin Lewis (0-2) : 1 season over .500 in his tenure. All control taken away from him in the off season. Repeated public spats with biggest star. Chris Henry again. If Marvin has a favorite sandwich shop in Cincy, he shouldn't pick up a new punch card for a free sub, that's all I'm sayin.

Herm Edwards: (0-2) : See, carbonite, frozen in or Shell, Art.

Scott Linehan: (0-2) : Lame duck. The team was able to be bad last year because of lots of serious injuries. No easy excuse this year. Reports out of St. Louis have Chip Rosenbloom ready to go against his mother's death bed wishes of granting Linehan another year to figure it out. Time appears to be up and not in Linehan's favor. Blantent ignoring of a dead womans last wishes? Now that's what I call a 'hot seat'.

On to picks. Home teams, as always, in bold.

Atlanta (-5.5) over KC

I believe in Tyler Thigpen. I believe he will be awful. Just awful.

Bills (-9.5) over Oakland

Just fire him already! Look, all week we heard about how Al Davis was ready to get rid of Lane Kiffen sometime soon...just do it, so he can focus on getting his Eagle Scout. Geez.

Titans (-5) over Texans

I thought the Texans were supposed to be good this year. Did the hurricane give them the ability to stay within 5 of the best defensive team in the League? I don't think so.

Fins (+13) over Pats

Oh my god, I just picked against the Pats...I think I'm going to be sick. Welcome back to Earth, Terminators. Look for a team more like the '01 Pats, not the "Kill everyone" Pats of '07. Besides, I think Joey Porter means business this time!

Tampa (+3) over Chi-Town

I like Tampas D, and Chicago isn't a home field advantage unless it's cold. Which it ain't.

Rams (+9.5) over Seahawks

Seattle signed 2 recievers off the street this week, and they will be starting Sunday. Avoid gambling on this at all costs. If gambling were legal.

Panthers (+3.5) over Vikes

The Gus Ferrotte era runs into an apparent team of destiny in Carolina. Who really cares how Gus Ferrotte's name is spelled?

Niners (-4) over Lions

The Lions run defense against Frank Gore? Yes please.

Giants (-13) over Bengals

Two. Team. Tease.

Eagles (-3) over Steelers

Wait a second. This is a late afternoon game, and I get Jets/Chargers on Monday night? Good Grief. (It's a Peanuts joke...)

Cards (+3) over Skins

I'm taking Kurt Warner for the win.

Colts (-5) over Jags

Jags can't run, and their best reciever keeps trying to snort the 50 yard line.

Ravens (-2.5) over "Browns"

Romeo Crennel officially hands in his resignation, falling back to Earth after last year's miracle season...when they almost made the playoffs.

Broncos (-5.5) over Saints

Jay Cutler is the NFL leader in touchdowns and passing yards. Vanderbilt grad Jay Cutler.

Packers (+3) over Cowboys

The 'Boys' defense looked terrible on Monday night, and actually looked happy to get that win. The Iggles defense was furious, even though they held TO to 2 catches in the second half. Which team do you think is built to win later in the year?

Jets (+10) over Chargers

LDT is apparently not going to be playing in REGULAR season games this year, so that he will be healthy for the playoffs. There seems to be a hole in that logic...and on my fantasy team.

Last Week: 11-3-1
Season: 19-11-1

Sep 11, 2008

Fantasy Thoughts + Week 2 Picks

Wow. Tom Brady. Done for the season. I feel just awful for Rashad Biggers, CC '05, who unwisely took the fallen Pats quarterback with the first overall pick in our fantasy league. Ignoring the fact that passing TDs are only 4 points in our league, against 6 points per rushing TD. Laughing at the notion that LDT will continue to be the best fantasy player. Braving great ridicule from, well everyone, Rashad Biggers stuck by his guns and picked his team, and he should be applauded for his conviction.


Bravo on making the single dumbest move in fantasy history (even BEFORE the injury), allowing LDT to fall to 2, allowing me to trade for him, allowing me to post a league-best 126.6 last week. Rome wasn't built in a day...but I haven't figured out what to call my empire. And it looks like it was built on a pick.

Back to real life, and real picks.

After week 1, I'm 8-8. It could be worse. Home teams, as always, in bold.

KC (-3.5) over Oakland

Well, that was a flop. No, not my attempts to procure a Bernard Pollard jersey (sold out), but the Jamarcus Russell experiment. Maybe man was not meant to hold out for a good part of his rookie season, be given no playmakers on the offense except for ANOTHER running back, and open his second season on Monday Night Football. Maybe man was destined to have to work for success, not have it handed to him. Dubya, I'm looking at you. Damn, broke my politics referendum.

Tenn (+1) over Cincy

Are you freaking kidding me? The Titans injure a bunch of Jaguars, get a huge week one win, but the second they throw a drunk under center, they are underdogs to a team that was embarrassing, at best? Really? I'll be taking the Titans, and laughing all the way to 4 sacks of Carson Palmer.

Indy (-2) over Minnesota

Peyton looked about 4 steps slow. Marvin looked still hurt. Dallas Clark might not play. Addai got shook up on Sunday Night. The defense couldn't close down a rookie running back. Meanwhile, on Monday...Peterson fought for 100 yards, proving to me just how hard it is going to be on him every game this year. The defense looked strong against a resilient Green Bay offense. But Tavaris Jackson is STILL the quarterback.

N.O. (PK) over Washington

Wow. Look, I'm not going to start listing the reasons that Washington looked awful, and N.O. looked good last week. I will say, if gambling were legal, nothing could stop me from betting the house on the Saints. Huh. Never thought I'd say that.

Green Bay (-3) over Detroit

Detroit got mutilated by a very average Falcons team (no matter how much I want to believe otherwise, I can't. Not yet.) Green Bay looks better than the Atlanta team, and Detroit can't seem to decide what they are. Do they want to run the ball first, do they want to throw to Roy and Megatron (Best. Nickname. Ever.)? I don't know what they want, but I do know they will be 0-2 after this week.

Carolina (-3) over Chicago

I think? Both these defenses looked really good, and the Panthers are supremely better on offense. Unless this Forte kid is really that good. Unless Jake Delhomme isn't as back as he looked. Unless Kyle Orton is REALLY the answer? Ugh. Avoid this game for gambling possibilities at all costs.

NYGiants (-8.5) over St. Louis

Pick the defense that plays the Rams every week. There it is, your fantasy football advice of the week. In a related story, Stephen Jackson is an AWFUL fantasy back to have, because his team will be down alot every game, and he won't be running.

Buffalo (+5.5) over Jacksonville

It's tough treading when you lose both starting guards in the first week. Especially since David Garrard seems to be coming back to Earth from his amazing year last year. On the other hand, the Titans defense has the power to make most teams look mortal. Maybe I should be taking J'ville here, but if you are winning a game, and build on your lead using a fake field goal, then I'm picking you the next week. I don't have many rules, but that's one of them.

Tampa Bay (-7) over Atlanta

Rookie quarterbacks on the road against Monte Kiffen? G'night "Matty Ice". What a God-awful nickname.

San Fran (+7) over Seattle

Name 1 receiver still healthy in Seattle. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Zona (-6.5) over Miami

Mehhh....I don't feel good about that. Miami was one drive away from toppling the Jets, who have to be the favorites in division right now, and Warner is no Bret Favre. I guess I'm thinking that the supporting cast and defense is better out in the desert, and they show it this week.

New England (+1.5) over NYJets

Matt Cassel era! Seriously, he's surrounded by enough talent that if the Pats revert to 2001 form (step up on D, crossing patterns and quick outs, more running game) they would be fine even if I were under center. Especially playing a quarterback who is still learning the offense in Bret Favre.

Houston (-4.5) over B'More

Time to find out just how back the Ravens defense really is. I think this Houston squad has the potential to knock off Indy in the Best Division in Football, but they need a defining win, and not just over their division foes. A message could be sent if they can hang some points on this D, and keep Joe Flacco under wraps. Okay, just the 1st thing.

Denver (+1.5) over San Diego

SD got off to a slow start last year, and it looks the same way now. Only, there's no way to tell if Denver is any good, since Eddie Royal was basically running routes on air last Monday, and all the starters were chillin by the middle of the third. I like Denver at home, and I like Jake Cutler, now that he's got his diabetes under control, and I like Mike Shannahan over Norv.

Pittsburgh (-6) over Cleveland

One hit wonder, the Cleveland Browns!!!

Philly (+ 7) over Dallas

The Illadelph looked great last week, as Donovan F. lead his squad to victory over Dartmouth, I mean St. Louis. While I don't think they'll romp as badly this week, I do think that McNabb and co. have traditionally looked great in the early goings, and faded late. That could mean that this is the game that serves as a wake up call for the Romos, that this league is theirs for the taking if they can win a couple of playoff games. Or, McNabb gets hurt, and the entire city of Philadelphia takes a collective cyanide pill.

Last Week: 8-8
Season: 8-8


Still goosebumps.

Sep 4, 2008

2008 NFL Preview + Week 1 Picks

It's hard to believe that a just over a year ago, I typed numerous predictions that were horribly, horribly wrong. Continuing my lifetime of not learning from my mistakes, I return, to make more awful predictions.

AFC East
1. Pats
2. Jets
3. Buffalo
4. Fins

Hm. Well, the Pats got younger at their most crucial position on the defensive side of the ball, with Rosey Colvin being replaced by Mayo. Plus, they don't have exactly the most daunting schedule this year, and while 16-0 is too much to hope for, I think 14-2 is well within reach.

The former Jersey-B team got way more respectable with the off season additions of Alan Faneca and Damien Woody helping out the running game. Plus, I heard that they had a slight upgrade at quarterback...Look for the Jets to fight for a wild card spot this year.

Buffalo/Toronto is an interesting case this year, as Marshawn Lynch looks to be poised to break out, but the uncertainty on the offensive line might hold him back. They've got a proven NFL starter under center, but I don't see them playing in January. I'm pretty down on the is every NFL prognosticator, commentator, and I'd venture to guess most Miami players. But, look for exciting things out of the Ricky Williams show, provided he doesn't get TOO high.

AFC North
1. B'More
2. Pitt
3. "Browns"
4. Cincy

Maybe I've been watching too much "The Wire"(no such thing as too much). Maybe watching Ray Lewis' kid brother on Hard Knocks got to me. Maybe I believe in Joe Flacco...I mean Kyle Boller...I mean Troy Smith...I mean Joe Flacco again. Quarterback carousel aside, I have to think that the defense bounces back from the embarrassment of last season to continue carrying this team to greatness. Maybe.

Pittsburgh was impressive at times last year, but Willie Parker needs to get in the end zone more, and Limas Sweed needs to live up to the hype. If your offense is dependent on a starter returning from a big injury, and in the injection of a talented rookie, you most likely aren't ending up1st in the division. The "Browns" might be one hit wonders, and even if they aren't, preseason injuries to Derek Anderson and Braylon Edwards makes me question this potent offense.

I think Cincy is irreparably broken, and needs a coaching change immediately. I really like Marvin Lewis, but this stuff is getting out of hand. Negative press at every turn, and now with a big(ger than reported) injury to Chad Johnson, I don't see them breaking .500. Again.

AFC South
1. Colts
2. J'Ville
3. Texans
4. Tennessee

Here goes the division I feel the worst about. I have no idea how this is going to finish. I'm ignoring the growing rumors that Peyton had a second knee surgery, and that the knee swells up at the slightest movement. I'm also going to ignore the Marvin Harrison gun story, as did every news outlet across the country this off season.

No one should want to play the Jags this year. This is an angry team, with a dangerous quarterback, and a dominant defense. The Texans got derailed last year by fluky injuries, so I look for former Falcon Matt Schaub to have a great year. Tennessee is not this low because I'm down on them, but because I'm frankly dumbfounded. How did this division get this good? Can we annex one of these teams to the AFC West, so that we can have three of them in the play offs? Speaking of...

AFC West
1. Super-Chargers
2. Broncos
3. Raiders
4. KC

Well, duh. Since LDT has revealed himself only to vanish during meaningful playoff games, San Diego should be pretty set throughout the regular season. The fact that the rest of the of the division happens to be the anti-AFC South helps alot too.

I'm tired of reading about how Jay Cutler is going to turn the corner this year. You mean with his best receiver benched for the first game...that just HAPPENS to be a division game? Right. The Raiders actually intrigue me, but when it comes down to it, I choose the proven commodity of Mike Shannhan over some kid who has to knock out a paper route before coming to the office everyday. I just think those hours are going to eat at his teenage mind and body. How is the fact that Al Davis tried to force Lane Kiffen into quitting after last year not being mentioned at all? The owner trying to get rid of the coach, and failing, would be a pretty big deal heading into a new season, if you ask me. The only thing worse than that, is if you're picked to finish behind that team.

Hi Herm Edwards.

NFC East
1. Dallas
2. Philly
3. Skins
4. Super Bowl Hangovers

In light of last night's Fantasy Draft, Dallas has to put up points, or I'm done. The only thing working against them is the fact that they have been remarkably healthy/lucky for the past three years, and something has to give...right?

I want Philly to win this division. I think the people of Philadelphia need their team to win this division. And if Donovan F. doesn't win this division, he could be job hunting come next season. They have the defense. They have the QB. They just have to get it done. The Redskins are breaking in a first year coach, they have an aging defense, and I just don't see them going on the miracle run of last season.

Up in New York, no matter what they tell you, it is REALLY HARD to replace the starting defensive ends off of a Super Bowl winning team. Especially when they are the reason for your past success.

NFC North
1. Green Bay
2. Minnesota
3. Lions
4. Bears

You asked for it, you got it. The Aaron Rodgers era is underway. At least he's got a dominant defense, a decent running game, and some talented skill players to help he along. And since each of the other three teams is missing a major part of a successful football team, they win by default. Minnesota has the D, but is starting Tavaris Jackson, and Adrian Peterson hasn't played a full season since his freshman year in college. The Lions have the talent, but no running game or defense. The Bears allegedly still have a defense, but they don't have anything else.

NFC South
1. Carolina
2. Saints
3. Bucs
4. Falcons

Carolina wins this. I mean, the Saints. I mean Tampa Bay. Look, all I know is Atlanta finishes fourth. After stabbing their fans in the face by not drafting Dorsey, they twisted the knife by starting the new 'franchise quarterback' behind an offensive offensive line. Ok, enough about them, or I'm going to shoot myself.

If Delhomme is back 100%, and Peppers and the defense can rebound from the abysmal showing last year, look for them to make some noise. The Saints look to be poised to come back after starting really slow last year. Every time a team wins this division, the next year their in the basement. Unfortunately, the Falcons are parked in the basement for the foreseeable future, so Tampa will be sharing the space with them.

NFC West
1. Seahawks
2. Niners
3. St. Louis
4. Arizona

How is the West in both conferences freaking embarrassing? The Seahawks are perennially good, mostly because their division is garbage. The departure (and subsequent unemployment) of Shaun Alexander means running back by committee here, which appears to be the way most of the L is moving. Hasselbeck is always a consistent QB, and his receivers looked to be developing into something special at the end of last year.

The Niners are going to continue to be awful, even with Mike Martz running the show. With Patrick Willis holding down the defense, they should bottle up the other two teams in the league, who have their own problems. The Rams should be interesting this year, in the sense that they are going to be imploding before week 8. Good times. Is Matt Leinart officially a bust, since he has gotten beaten out by a 55 year old man in Kurt Warner? The Arizona defense stars Carlos Dansby...and no one else.

AFC Playoff Teams:
1. Pats
2. Chargers
3. Baltimore
4. Indy
5. Jax
6. Jets

NFC Playoff Teams:
1. Dallas
2. Carolina
3. Green Bay
4. Seahawks
5. Philly
6. Saints

Super Bowl:
Pats over Philly...again. Sorry Philadelphia phans, but they will not be denied this time, especially since now Belichick is cheating in HD.


Week 1 Picks:
I'm tired of writing, so nothing witty about these games. Home teams, as always, in bold.

Washington (+4.5) over Giants

Baltimore (+1.5) over Cincy

Jets (-3) over Miami

Pats (-15.5) over KC

Houston (+6.5) over Pitt

J'ville (-3) over Tenn

Detroit (-3) over Atl

Seattle (+1) over Buffalo

N.O. (-3) over Tampa Bay

Philly (-7.5) over St. Louis

Dallas (-5.5) over Cleveland

Carolina (+9.5) over San Diego

Zona (-2.5) over San Fran

Indy (-9.5) over Chi-Town

Minnesota (+2.5) over Green Bay

Denver (-3) over Oakland

Fantasy Football is Real Life

Thanks to Gene Edwards for the soundbite/title. I had both of my final fantasy drafts last night, and I gotta say, I think I came out pretty good. In both leagues, I'm using the chick magnet team name Heath Ledger's NyQuil, so I'll designate my teams by where the league is hosted.

Yahoo Sports! - Okay, I had the 9th pick, and there was no trading of picks beforehand. I think I came out like a freaking bandit, but you be the judge.

QB- Ben Roethlisberger, David Garrard
RB- Clinton Portis, Willie Parker, Felix Jones, Deuce McAllister
WR- Reggie Wayne, Wes Welker, Patrick Crayton, Deion Branch
TE- Dallas Clark, Donald Lee
K- Robbie Gould
Def- Arizona, Tampa Bay

ESPN - This is my super-competitive league with a bunch of old teammates from college. I had the 10th, but made moves to get 3 picks in the first 15 picks. It wound up a little Dallas-Centric, but hopefully they can still be as healthy as they have been.

QB- Donovan McNabb, David Garrard
RB- Marion Barber, Willie Parker, Felix Jones, Rashard Mendenhall, Deuce McAllister
WR- Terrell Owens, Jericho Cotchery, Patrick Crayton, Amani Toomer, Antwaan Randel El
TE- Chris Cooley, Alge Crumpler
K- Rob Bironas
Def- Arizona, Tampa Bay

*Breaking News Edit*

In a monster move, I have traded Marion Barber, Felix Jones, and Terrell Owens for LaDainian Tomlinson, Darren Sproles, and Roy Williams. The rich get richer...

Sep 3, 2008


It's been a while since I posted, mainly because I've been moving all weekend, but that's no excuse. Actually, that's exactly what it is. Oh well. Pending getting internet at the new place today, I will be posting my Fantasy Football Team as soon as I am done drafting tonight, and the NFL Preview will be up, along with Week 1 Picks before kick off tomorrow night. I guarantee. Kinda.

The Thursday night kick off is dumb anyway.

Until all that stuff gets posted, support your friendly neighborhood blogger by going to my Zazzle page, and picking out a spiffy t-shirt. Here be the link:

Cool and funny shirts!

Plus, I'm here to bring you one of the biggest collabs of the year. Kanye, Jay-Z, Lil' Wayne, T.I.

You're welcome.


I'll be back tomorrow.