Mid-Range Jumpers

The Association, save me!

That would be melodramatic if it wasn't so true. Armed with only a surprisingly engaging US Open and a historic Wimbledon Final, I've been held sports-hostage by the ooooh soooo looong baseball season. While the Braves stumble to another .500 record (more on that later), I thought it was time to dust off America's favorite, rarely updated blog format, where we celebrate the lost art of the Mid-Range Jumper.

Lot's of stuff on the plate today, and surprise, surprise, it's heavy on the NBA, NFL and college football, but I'm trying to branch out. Bear with me.

• Let's start close to home re: free agency...so, we bring in Jamal Crawford, bring back Bibby, and are trying to keep Marvin. Does the front office not remember what happened when we tried the all-swing man team a few years back? Do they plan on talking Marvin into coming off the bench? Will he stand for it? Will the fan base? Wait, a basketball fan base in Atlanta? STAY TUNED!
• At least the Pistons didn't mortgage their future by locking up two mid-level guys for long, expensive contracts in a year where the cap went down for the second time in league history and right before the biggest drop ever next year. Wait, they did that? Oh, and I hope the Rip Hamilton period was good for the fans because he is G-O-N-E. Probably to Atlanta, so we can have more swing men.
• Chad Johnson (I refuse to acknowledge that ridiculous last name he's adopted) apparently wants to tweet on the sideline. When it's this easy, it almost isn't fun.
• AMAZING show put on by Roddick and Federer last weekend...if Tennis could routinely put on shows like that, they would do more than suck in all us hung over people on the occasional Sunday mornings.
• Dallas Mavericks are apparently convinced that this is the year 2001, and Jason Kidd deserves a 3 year deal. Mark Cuban is routinely touted for his intelligent business decisions, so I guess every other point guard on Earth will die of some unknown ball-handling disease in the next 3 years, and Kidd will survive it. Those Mavs are so savvy.
• Take that last bullet, change Dallas Mavericks to Orlando Magic, change Jason Kidd to Vince Carter, and change point guard to swing man. Wait, if that were to really happen, would the Hawks trot out Bibby, Horford, and Zaza?
• I don't want to hear a word about Andruw Jones hitting three home runs in his three first at bats this year. I just don't. After the vanishing act in LA last year, his career is forever tarnished.
• Rasheed Wallace to the Celtics would never have happened if Big Poppa Stern still wielded his power judiciously.
• Did you know the WNBA is still around? And that Atlanta has a team? And they are called the Dream? And that none of that is made up? (I haven't made a WNBA joke in months, and don't forget, they got NEXT!)
• Sports prediction: Tiger wins everything by 2012, forces white folks to quit golf and solidify hold on hockey...for now.
• If AI ends up in Memphis with OJ Mayo, then there will be a dearth of basketballs in the state of Tennessee...a dearth I say!
• Hey Lake-Show, way to follow up a title with downgrading defensively from Ariza to Ron-Ron...he is old.
• Speaking of the Rockets (I wasn't talking about them, but about a player who just left them...whatever), I feel legitimately bad for the entire front office for the way McGrady and Yao have turned out...but it's still really, really funny.
• Shaq and Penny. Shaq and Kobe. Shaq and Wade. Shaq and LeBron. One of these will not work. Three of these already happened.

If the WNBA was playing in my very own back yard, I would close the blinds. (I gotta be me!)

I Miss You Basketball/Football/Hockey...

Sure, Wimbledon is on, and there is a big soccer match tomorrow, but really who cares? Sports purgatory, you can't end soon enough.

Until we get what we want sports fans, there's always things like this to put a smile on your face.



"I know you're gonna do what you do, but be smart about it."

You stay classy, Mario Chalmers.

Idiot.

Draft Day

Let’s get something straight: NFL Draft Day is my Christmas. It takes up my entire day, I get immersed in all things football, and I am ruined for the next whole day. The NBA Draft is a different animal, because while the warm up to the NFL draft is a slow build of combines and private workouts, the NBA draft is a week-long celebration punctuated with crazy trades, values rising and falling, and the hopes and fates of young men decided. It leaves me so drained, I almost forget that we are immersed in sports purgatory. I guess the best equivalent of Draft Week is Hanukah. Only with fewer candles.

One of the toughest things about the NBA Draft is the fact that no one stays for any meaningful amount of time anymore, so it is hard to develop opinions on players. With the NFL Draft, you usually have a body of work of at least two years to judge a player by (unless that player is impatient Matt Sanchez – just ask Pete Carrol). And no, I’m not going to launch into my tirade about the reasons I don’t enjoy college basketball as much as the NBA, but it’s hard to know just how good Evans is from Memphis in only a year (BTW, I don’t think he is an NBA starting PG). No, the most exciting part of the NBA Draft Week is the Week itself; watching teams (Minny) stockpile picks in a bad draft, and watching players (Griffin) anxiously await a fate worse than death: The Clippers.

But, for the Atlanta sports fan, the NBA Draft has meant many unhappy returns. Acie Law IV, Sheldon Williams, (not) Chris Paul…and that’s just the last 5 years. We habitually make the wrong decision in these places, sticking the fans with watching a player who is getting paid too much, even with the rookie pay scale, and is untradable, because he shouldn’t have been drafted in the first place. I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it. All this ineptitude, coupled with our recent ownership woes had me less than excited for tonight. Plus, there were more than a few rumors flying around about us moving our recently extended young power forward/swing man/dunk machine Josh Smith for Chris Bosh: the best player on a 30 win team, a third banana at best, and a guarantee lock to opt out after this season.

Tuesday. Hope? Rumblings abounded that a move of Acie Law and Speedy Claxton (how is he still getting an NBA paycheck!!!) to the Warriors for Jamal “19.7 a game last year?” Crawford. From a logical sense, I was elated: we were shedding two bad contracts for bad players, and while were going to be paying Crawford 20 million over the next two, in a year, he becomes an expiring contract, and good trade bait. If we could turn his expiring deal into two decent mid level guys next year, I’d be elated. From a basketball perspective, the trade is a bit more problematic, the main problem being, where does he play? Unless you move Marvin (bad idea?), there is no place for him in the starting 5, but if you can convince him to replace Flip Murray’s role of instant offense (can’t believe I just wrote THAT)off the bench, then it works. But, will the front office not push to have a 10 million a year guy on the floor? Maybe the Hawks aren’t done, and can turn Crawford into room to lure a veteran PG here.

See, it’s stuff like this that makes the whole week so interesting. Things like the Spurs making a move for the last two years of Richard Jefferson’s deal, effectively announcing that they are going to make one last push while Tim Duncan is still at the height of his powers (or at least reasonably close). Even though it is highly uncharacteristic of the Spurs management to pay four guys 8 figures each, the move speaks to the fact that they have decided the direction they want to move in, and made a decisive move to get there. Tony Parker and his 11 million a year might be moving (sell high!), but Pop and co. have sent a message to their star and their fans: they want to win now. For lessons on how NOT to handle an offseason, one has to look no further than last year’s champs the Boston Celtics.

The rumor (and revealed truth) of Tuesday had the Celtics offering up Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo to the Pistons for Rip Hamilton and Tayshaun Prince. Now, everyone gets why they would move Ray: he’s an expiring contract, he probably has one more extension in him, and the Celtics don’t want to give it to him. Basketball wise, meh, but it makes good front-office sense. Rondo makes peanuts, and was a triple double machine in the playoffs. So why is he being shopped (and why is this not the first time it’s happened)? While no specific stories have come out, the rumors are that there are some behind-the-music issues that have the Celts uncomfortable about committing long term to Rondo. But, as opposed to saying something to that effect, GM Danny Ainge came to a press conference somehow talking out of three sides of his mouth. Take some time, track the video down, I’ll wait.

Pretty funny, huh?

Now, he’s put himself in a position where they almost HAVE to move Rondo, because what they’ve done will only serve to exacerbate whatever issues already exist. And the rest of the Association knows it and will use it to their advantage. Except for Chris Wallace. Phoenix with their deal last night, either made a great decision to blow up what they had, and work to the future, or pooped on their fans again. Don’t worry, I’ll be taking a longer look at the Shaq trade this weekend. But, what about the main event? What about the draft itself?

I hate to (be the 1,456,932^nd person to) say it, but this class sucks. Case in point: Tyler Hansbrough. After his sophomore year, he was touted as a sure-fire lottery pick. But he stayed. And we watched him be the same player for the next two years. The EXACT same. The only reason to stay in college is to grow as a player in that environment (Stephen Curry), and he stayed the same. So, his draft value has yo-yoed ever since. From lottery pick, to late first round, to mid second, and now, after these workouts, back in to the first. No one is discovering anything new about him (mostly because you have seen all of it already), but they are figuring out how bad this class is. And this assertion that it is a great point guard class? Maybe a great BACKUP point guard class. Aside from Curry, Flynn and Rubio (who I am borderline obsessed with), there isn’t that much talent. Ty Lawson? Great up and down the court, but can’t go lateral. Tyreke Evans? Average athletically, wilted on the big stage in March. (Okay, full disclosure: I REALLY want the Hawks to get VCU point guard Eric Maynor, but I didn't want to jinx it. I thought about it some, and to hell with jinxes. Let's go Birds!!!)

I don’t know who is going where, but hopefully we’ll see some big trades and Blake Griffin’s knees explode when he walks to the stage. Just kidding. No need to hope for what HAS to happen. See you tonight.

FINALS!!!

So, this NBA Finals is causing a bit of internal strife. In my head, I mean. I hate Kobe (excuse me, the MAMBA), but this three-point fest the Magic have been riding has to stop. Right? I enlisted one of my Laker fan friends Rake Colson to discuss the matter:

DP: So I started this job Monday, and have been training so far. But, while I have been filing my head with the ins and outs of the mortgage industry, I can’t help but wonder what life is like for you? I mean, you admit your superstar is a sociopath, your coach was almost matched by George Karl, your 2^nd banana is a European who slanted his eyes in the Spain Basketball team picture, and your third banana is a candy nut straight out of Willy Wonka.

Not to mention, that aside from your MVPuppet, your entire backcourt is a section 8, to the point that Shannon Brown has become a vital cog to your team.

RC: Do I know Kobe's a sociopath, a spoiled brat, an egomaniac? Yes, of course - I have second hand evidence. Friend of my dad's works for AEG, which owns Staples, and Mamba is universally reviled, from the janitors to Phil Anschuetz (the CEO). If he weren't everyone's meal ticket, he would probably have been the victim of a car bomb by now. Also of note: with the exception of Malone and Payton (who had to be convinced by Shaq), no premier free agent has ever taken less money to play with Kobe. With the exception of Malone and Carmelo, no NBA player has ever admitted to being friends with Kobe, and he even lost Karl with the whole "little white girls" thing. From all reports, he doesn't have an entourage, doesn't have friends, and is single-mindedly focused on basketball and cementing his legacy as a top 5 all-time guard. Is that a good thing for the Lakers and their fans? Yeah, probably. But with a title loss, this house of cards can come crumbling down real quick. It won't be like the painful summer of 2004, but it won't be far from it.

Phil was not "almost matched" by George Karl. The only person George Karl almost matched was Chris Dougherty in the "red faced" department. That series was never about anyone outcoaching anyone else, and if anything, Karl gave away two games with his inbound play brilliance. Phil has been slipping for some time, yes, but he was never a great game coach - his greatest skill is getting everyone on the same page. With the Bulls, that meant keeping MJ from murdering everyone else; with the 2000-2004 Lakers, it meant keeping Shaq and Kobe from murdering one another; with the 2006-2009 Lakers, it means keeping everyone from murdering Kobe AND keeping Kobe from murdering Bynum.

RE: Spanish national team picture -- what's the issue? You have to love Pau - he looks completely unathletic, he runs like a less-gay Bruno, and he just so happens to be one of the most versatile big men in the league. Oh, and he and Ariza are the Lakers MVPs -- in that, if they're on, we win. When they're not, we don't. It's as simple as that.

Lamar, for some reason, doesn't drive me nuts. In fact, I love his consistent inconsistency. I just hope it doesn't show up over the next few weeks.

Shannon Brown can play! I don't know where that came from, but he's a great fit for this team. And considering we have to contend with Skip-to-my-Lou and 45% of a getting-up-to-speed Jameer Nelson, I'm not too worried about the PG matchup.

I think you know what matchup I am worried about, though. The big question to me is: will DJ Mbenga see time in this series? If he does, game over.

There's a scenario in the back of my head where Dwight goes insane and throws up a 34-16 for the series, SVG comes up with some amazing defensive scheme and shuts us down, they hit every 3 like they've been doing, and we get embarrassed along the lines of 2004. That scenario is analogous to my bonus, in that we'll find out about it in the next few weeks, and that I try not to think about it too much because it's so painful and soul-crushing and denies everything I/the Lakers have worked so hard for.

So yes, I'm keeping my expectations low.

DP: Wait, wait, wait. I watched LeBron and the MAMBA grinning it up on national television during that sit-down interview. I SAW IT! They were palling around like the Schnieder and Columba of their time. You trying to tell me that while LBJ was making fun of Kobe with the ‘high-shorts’ joke, and basically mocking him openly, the MAMABA was only smiling for the cameras? He was actually sizing up The King, deciding the best way to incapacitate him with his butter knife? What?

Good thing he’s focused on cementing his legacy as a top five guard…since he isn’t there yet, and won’t get there based on his only two Finals appearances we have where he was the best player (04, Detroit, 08, Boston). Right now, he’s a top-five second banana in NBA history, since there are 5 better guards off the top of my head…Jordan, Magic, Oscar, Logo, Isaiah. And they all won rings as the man…which he HAS to do, unless he wants to go down in the ‘Pippen, Drexler, D. Robinson, and other players who only won titles as the OTHER GUY on their team’ group.

If y’all lose…I don’t even know. Sure, the answer SEEMS to be move everyone (MAMBA included), but, as has been pointed out over and over and over again, this is a nearly broke league; who takes on the MAMBA’s deal? And for what? You’ve got him for at least another 82. Get comfortable. Because I don’t know if the Magic can’t win this thing.

SVG (he looks like he needs initials) hasn’t REALLY been tested coaching wise so far (ol’ what’s-his-face in Philly, Doc, and M.Brown), but he has shown a great ability to adjust on the fly within the series. Phil may be a peacemaker, but against SVG (does this make him cooler?) the Lake-Show need him to be a basketball coach. He’s aged more poorly than Coolio’s entire catalog. He’s aged more poorly than Ted Pitt. And his BASKETBALL COACHING, you know, what he’s paid to do, has been slow to adjust to things like No-more-Yao. You know, like Lamar adjusts constantly to sometimes playing/sometimes not during series. And don’t get me started on Wonka’s Swayze in the Finals last year.

Pau is a racist. There. I said it.

Not worried about the backcourt matchup? NOT WORRIED? You sound like the Indians being ‘not worried’ about the disease laden blankets the palefaces brought with them. Do you remember Aaron Brooks (AARON BROOKS?!?!) eviscerating your backcourt a week ago? Have you not seen what penetrating point guards do to the carbon cut-outs you stick back there? It would be funny if it wasn’t so damn sad. Chauncy Billups is a cerebral game manager, and y’all decimated him; no one will ever confuse Skip and Anthony Johnson for the Artist Formally Known As Mr. Big Shot.

Shannon Brown. Good one.

DJ Mbenga. Better one. Though, Chris Mihm got some burn last year, so maybe Phil is aging worse than Larry Legend.

The more I think about how weird these playoffs have been (the Magic are shooting like 47% from three!), the more and more your nightmare seems likely. Is it impossible for the Magic to split the first two in LA? Is it impossible for them to take 2 of 3 in O-Town, culminating with a rout in the last game in Orlando, the MAMBA sharpening his knives as he quits on the floor (see also, last year and 2007 against the Suns)? Can you really count on this crew to close out the final two games in Staples. Me neither.

Dear god, am I about to take the Magic in 6? YES WE CAN. SI SE PUEDE!

***

We'll see what takes place in this little argument today. This could just be part 1.

Wow

Ok, I want everyone to realize something. We are truly witnessing (sorry Sully) something beyond special. And, after watching him eviscerate my Hawks, it still kind of stings to admit it, but this is a once in a lifetime occurrence that deserves 1,047 words from me, whether I like it or not.

LeBron Freaking James.

Never mind the triple double last night. Never mind the 17 points in the fourth. Never mind the ridiculous gut-check required to play that well down 3-1 in the conference finals. No, what we're seeing is bigger than a single game. His splits for the postseason? 36.1 points per game, 9.3 rebounds per game and 7.3 assists a game. Bill Simmons has what he calls the 42 Club (explained here), where you add up those three figures to determine postseason greatness (plus, the fact that Dirk (41.6, '06) blew his shot at the club with those finals solidifies the accuracy of the scale and captures the injustice done to my favorite 7-foot jump shooter. Great. Now I sound like Mark Stein).

Here's your 42 Club (I really wish I'd have thought of this first; damn you Simmons!) since the merger for reference:

Michael Jordan (6 times): 49.4 ('89); 50.7 ('90); 45.9 ('91); 46.5 ('92); 47.8 ('93); 43.8 ('97)
Shaquille O'Neal (4X): 43.6 ('98); 49.2 ('00); 49.0 ('01); 43.9 ('02)
Larry Bird (4X): 42.0 ('81); 44.4 ('84); 43.4 ('86); 44.2 ('87)
Moses Malone (2X): 43.0 ('81); 43.3 ('83)
Magic Johnson (2X): 43.8 ('86); 42.5 ('91)
Karl Malone (2X): 43.0 ('92); 42.9 ('94)
Hakeem Olajuwon (2X): 44.2 ('94); 47.8 ('95)
Tim Duncan (2X): 42.7 ('01); 45.4 ('03)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (1X): 47.1 ('80)
Charles Barkley (1X): 44.5 ('93)
Kobe Bryant (1X): 42.8 ('01)
Allen Iverson (1X): 43.7 ('01)
Kevin Garnett (1X): 44.0 ('04)
LeBron James (1X): 44.7 ('06)

Do some quick math on the numbers above for Mr. James (and he has earned the Mr.) and you can see that not only are we talking about a legendary run, but an entrant into the hallowed air of the 50 Club. Current occupants? Michael Jeffery Jordan, when he officially changed his name to Michael Freaking Jordan in 1990. He threw up a 36.7 ppg, 7.2 rpg, and 6.8 apg, clocking him in at 50.7...and LeBron is currently pacing at 52.7.

52.7.

Dear God.

But the big rub here is Michael didn't get his first ring until a year later...but what that postseason flurry did do is something even more important: it firmly established him as a cut above his peers (Barkley, Malone, Robinson, Drexler), and it announced that he was here to replace to old guard (Dumars, Thomas, Bird, Magic). And this is where LeBron stands. Whether or not he wins the ring now or next year is of little importance in the larger scheme of things. Maybe this is the summer where Kobe vaults himself into the top-10 players ever discussion by winning a ring where he wasn't the second banana (and if you don't think he was the sidekick during those first three titles, you're nuts). Maybe this is the summer where I get to be all teary eyed because I get to watch my boy Melo (the should-have-been ROY over LeBron way back when) not only grow up, but establish himself as a champion. Maybe this is the summer where Dwight Howard proves that you don't need silly things like 'post offense besides tip-ins and open dunks' to be a successful big man.

Maybe this is another year where LeBron falls short. Maybe his indomitable will is not enough to overcome Stan Van Gundy/Ron Jeremy. Maybe he runs out of gas here, I mean, he has played over 550 NBA games already. Maybe he's playing on fumes, and maybe these Delonte West and Mo Williams threes stop falling, and he is left out there truly alone. Maybe these Cavs survive the Magic, but are so winded that they can't manage to finish in the Finals.

That's all on the table, and it's all ok.

Because, with his performance so far (52.7!!!), he's pulled a 1990 Jordan on the Association. He has officially announced to the older guard (Duncan, O'Neal, Garnett, MAMBA) that he has arrived to replace them...and put his peers (Howard, Anthony, Paul, Wade) on notice that they are his peers in age only; he has come and will be placing a stranglehold on the NBA for the foreseeable future. Ironically, the player who is to blame for this explosion is the same player who has the most to lose by his rise.

Fellow Most Valuable Puppet Kobe Bryant brought this on himself, and on all of the rest of the Association through his participation in the Redeem team last summer. Not only did he remind LeBron that there was a plateau he had yet to reach (see: last possessions, Gold Medal game), but he gave him insight into the indomitable work ethic that pushes Kobe past the miles on his body and the years in the Association. He got to see first hand how hard this cat works, both offensively and defensively every day for 3 months. That would have an impact on anyone, especially anyone who has had designs on being the best player ever, who captured his first SI cover at 16, who has had consistent questions about his dedication to the game. So, members of his class, you know who to thank when you're compared to Gary Payton, Charles Barkley and Karl Malone after you retire...you know, that 'great career, no rings' group that these guys belong to because they happened to be born in the wrong years: Mr. Kobe Bean Bryant.

But, maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe he wills the Cavs past the Magic this year, eviscerates whoever they play in the Finals, becomes a god in Cleveland, never leaves, captures 6 MVPs (three in a row at a time, because people get tired of voting for him (see Malone, Karl) and give it to someone less deserving), puts the stranglehold on the league NOW as opposed to a year from now, and we get to watch Dwayne Wade complete his reenactment of Penny Hardaway's career sooner than expected, because LeBron stole his will to compete. Because it is going to happen. It's all a matter of when.

FML

Well, at least THAT'S over. LeBron 'General Sherman' James is done with his second march through the fair city of Atlanta. At least we put up a fight. I guess, in the grand coronation of King James, this makes me and the rest of the city a collective
Full season recap coming this week.

Game 4. Q1,

Didn't look half bad out there...a lot of hustle on the defensive end and the boards...plus, it doesn't hurt that LBJ isn't hitting early. Maybe we can pull one out, make this a competitive game.

Big shout out to Texas Roto for putting smiles on the Palmer family faces tonight, as we wind down my career of having a sibling in college. Yeah, everything is about me.

Almost There...Here...Whatever...

3 days until my return to New York...and I am going to celebrate by sharing a couple of Hawks blogs with all my fans (Nez, Biggs, and occasionally Sully). Here ya go!

http://www.hoopinionblog.com/

http://www.peachtreehoops.com/

http://blogs.ajc.com/hawks/

The links are also on the sidebar.

And the best preview note of the three blogs belongs to Peachtree Hoops:

Just a heads up to Anderson Varejao. Zaza Pachulia plays as cheap, dirty, and tough as you. Except he is totally fine with punching someone in the face.

Boom.

MVP

All I wanted was to get out of the first round. And it looks like that's all I'm going to get.



OLASB 2nd Round Predictions

Lakers over Rockets in 6

Cavs over Hawks in 5

Magic over Celtics in 5

Denver over Dallas in 7

Playoffs?

For the first time in a VERY long time, I got to go to a playoff basketball game Sunday. Before now, I either didn't have tickets (last year), lived in a city that ALSO never made the playoffs (New York) or we didn't make the playoffs (every year except for New York and last year). So, when the opportunity arose for me to attend a Hawks playoff game, I jumped at it.

Not only did I get to see a fun (albeit, not-too-dramatic game), but I found out that Atlanta sports teams too have fans, that we have developed a legitimate home court advantage that helps out our players, that we have intelligent enough fans to collectively scream 'no' when Josh Smith is lining up a three-pointer. That last thing is not a joke, that happened.

I got caught up in it. I booed D-Wade, I cheered Joe Johnson (6-8 from 3?), I was confused when people chanted 'Zaza'. Bottom line, I loved every second. I got to see Atlanta win a seven game series for the first time since 1970. I got to see a not-so-loyal fanbase get rewarded.

And now I get to see us get creamed by the (checks watch) soon to be named MVP.

Where amazing happens.

Go Time

No jokes. No stunts. No elaborate anti-jinxes.

Just good, controlled, smart basketball tonight. There is no reason that the better team shouldn't leave Miami a winner.

Linkage:

Josh Smith needs to play within himself.

Time to end this in six, and get ready for the Cavs.

But, without looking past the task at hand.

This first round of the playoffs have left me a wreck. From Ray-Ray scoring 51 points in 58 minutes last night to J.J. Reddick jumping off of milk boxes and filling the void to eliminate the Sixers ALSO last night, I just know my heart can't take a Game 7 back in Atlanta on Sunday.

No Al. No Marvin. No excuses...we're the better team. Time to go show the world.

PLAYOFFS

*Lazy Blogger Note - the draft diary is coming, I'm running into some formatting issues, but it's coming. I think. I hope.*

Welcome to the best first round of the NBA playoffs possibly in history, and definatly in recent memory. As the Hawks have pushed the Heat to the brink (and I might have figured out an in for tickets to the Highlight Factory), I thought I'd touch on my favorite subplots thus far:

5. Teams Openly Quitting on Coaches
Hornets and Jazz, come on down! Jerry Sloan has historically grated on teams over the course of a season, and this year appears to be no different. He disarmed AK-47, and those first two games were a portrait of a team that hates their coach. At least he was able to rally the troops in game 3, before falling in 5 like I said they would. And at least they didn't poop on their fans like the New Orleans Hornets. 58 points? 58 freaking points?!? I happened to be watching this monstrosity, and while I like watching history in action, I have no desire to watch a snuff film.

4. The Return of the 15-Second Rule
The rule that truly defines the playoffs. "Thou shalt not allow thy whistle to decide the game within the last 15 seconds." While the officiating has been wholly and completely inexcusable, the fact that they let Brad Miller side-slam Ray Allen, and then let Rondo knock his teeth out. Speaking of the C's point guard...

3. The Emergence of the Playoff Hero
Most years, this subplot would be, "The Securing of the Too Big Contract Next Year", but in our current economic climate, this will have to do. Players like Ray Allen, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James, and Kobe Bryant have all reminded us why they earn their money in May. But, we've also gotten to bear witness to the emergence of players who we either didn't expect, or had convinced ourselves that they would never 'get it': Carmelo Anthony, Rajon Rondo, Kendrick Perkins, Ben Gordon, Derrick Rose, Josh Smith, Brandon Roy, Dwight Howard's elbow...lot of stepping up so far.

2. The Old School Series
This Hawks/Heat series has been a throwback for various reasons, cheif among them the physicality displayed by both squads. I don;t know how I feel about the prospect of WAY too much Zaza in Game 6, but I can't knock either team for playing their butts off. Except for when the Heat got out of the way to let Josh try that ridiculous dunk.

1. The Amazing
This is where amazing happens. Hokey ending, maybe, but you could play a black and white film of me making toast, set it to that music, and I'd tear up.

The Playoffs

Or whatever.

Look, there were initially only three series I was intrigued by: Trailblazers/Rockets, Spurs/Mavs, and Hawks/Heat. One of those three is too close to home (literally and figuratively) for me to be logical about (the refs stole Game 2! I'm getting Heat/Mavs flashbacks!!!) , and the other two weren't enough to garner me writing about the whole playoffs. But, since we're here now, I'll update my thoughts, with predictions.

Lakers over Utah in 5 - It's tough to win in a building that houses the most offensive fans in sport, so I'll say the Lakers split in Salt Lake, and close out in Staples.

Cavs over Detroit in 4 - Get your brooms out...with potential challengers falling by the wayside, Bron-Bron and company will send an early message.

Nuggets over NO in 5 - Apparently, Chauncy Billups used a time machine, and got himself from 2004.

Chicago over Boston in 6 - No way the kids win a Game 7 in Boston...look for Kevin Garnett to actually explode during game five on the bench.

San Antonio over Dallas in 7 - Instant classic series. I don't feel remotely good about taking the Spurs here, but who guards Tony Parker? Jason Kidd couldn't stop Tony Schalub.

Orlando over Philly in 6 - Nice show in Game 1 Sixers, let's see you keep it up with that HUGE liability (financially, and in a basketball sense) at center

Portland over Houston in 6 - No Deke? NO WIN!!!

Atlanta over Miami in 6 - My twitter is being used to vent my frustrations. Last night:

Big Poppa Stern, I stand in obvious awe of your greatness, and I know you want Wade/LeBron in round 2, but c'mon man...

You can follow the rest of my thoughts doled out in 140 character increments by following me.. (http://twitter.com/dpalm66)

I just plugged my twitter. I'll now light myself on fire.

But before that, I figured out how to blog on this thing from my phone. So look for the Draft Preview tomorrow, and my annual running draft Saturday. (Last year) (Year before that)

Get as excited as me. Now.

Previewing the East

Welcome to your annual Eastern Conference Playoff preview, and since for the first time in the oughts (that's this millennium to you double-zero preferring folks), the East has secured a winning record against the West, I get to stop calling it the LEastern Conference. Good for you fellas.

On to the playoff picture:

8. Detroit Pistons
Apparently, whether they want it or not. At the time of this writing, it doesn't look like the Bobcats are going to finish the push to catch them, and since the Bucks vanished since beating the Celtics 10 games back (including a home loss to the current number 4 seed last night), it looks like the Stones are going to be backing into the playoffs. And they are going to run into the 'we've got home court all the way through, and the best player in the league' buzz saw that is that Cavs. G'night Dumars and co.

7. Chicago Bulls
Sure, they currently hold the same record as the woe-begotten Pistons, but a head-to-head edge gives them the seeding advantage...and what an advantage it is. Instead of facing the Boy who would be King in round 1, they get the Boston Retirees. I thought that they would have enough to repeat, or at least be feisty in these playoffs, but between the injury to KG and the wear and tear on the remaining big two, look for Derrick Rose and the Baby Bulls (are they still really that young?) to put up more than a good fight, and if they can steal one in Boston, pull of the upset.

6. Philidelphia 76ers
What? Despite the Elton Brand experiment going awry (I told you so!), Andre Miller, AI 2.0, and company have somehow snuck into the playoffs. The less said the better. I am literally in shock.

5. Miami Heat
Dwayne Wade has sufficiently erased any hope that he is the second coming of Penny Hardaway, cementing himself possibly as the Karl Malone of this current generation; destined to toil away, and always fall short of the transcendent player of his time.

4. Atlanta Hawks
Home playoff series baby. After having to wait 10 years between playoff appearances last time, the denizens of the Highlight Factory are headed to their second straight postseason. What's more is that they are going to have a home playoff series. That's right, a home series for one of the NBA's best home teams (29-10). The only thing I would ask for now is a healthy Marvin Williams. Oh, and tickets. So if you have either of those, holla at ya boy. I'll hook you up with a shirt. Or something.

3. Orlando Magic
And now we separate the weak from the chaff. The men from the boys. The effeminate from the possibly Canadian (do I have to capitalize that? *looks it up* dammit). The real beauty of the Boston meltdown? They've positioned the Magic to be within striking distance of the 2-seed as we head to the stretch run, and I think they'll push for it, not because of a match-up issue, but just to assert their dominance in this new East.

2. Boston Celtics
This is a rough one. Fresh off of last years dismissal (yeah, I said it) of the rest of the Association, they are in one of the worst positions heading into the Second Season. Not only did their title-quest last year leave everyone else in the League hating their guts, but they lost their emotional center when KG went down in a very fishy, worse-than-they're-saying non-contact injury. My love of hyphenation notwithstanding, I don't think these guys have it in them to get out of the first round with either the 76ers or the Bulls waiting, and smelling older blood in the water. It is every generations intent to replace what has come before, and it looks like their time is now.

1. Cleveland Cavaliers
And here we are. 2009. The final coronation of LeBron James. Feels about right, doesn't it? I know that the 2008 Olympics showed that all the other players consider Kobe to be the best, but I think that the combination of a year of non-stop ball, plus picking up workout habits from the rest of the the Redeem Team, minus hosting the ESPYS has really pushed him ahead of the Mamba in that respect. These guys aren't losing at home (boasting a 38-1 home tally to date), and look for the intensity inside Quicken Loans Arena to be stepped up in the post season. Once they secure home court all the way, go ahead and get the crown ready: King James, indeed.

My Apologies

I realize my diligence regarding this blog has been...lax as of late. I've been in a weird head space recently, doing a lot of reading and introspection, trying to better myself as a person, you know, growing up and stuff. And, I found, when dealing with the ultimate fixer upper (me), much of my brain is taken up and leaves no room for sports. However, now that I've stopped engaging in such futile activities as improving mysekf, I can now focus more on this here blog...so without further ado...


SPORTS!!!


And what a time to come back! April baby! Final Four! Opening Day! Wrestlemania (kidding. Kind of.)! NBA Playoff push!

What a great tourny we got this year! The first weekend made me look like a genius, while the subsequent one made me look...well, like myself! Just like every year, my bracket is shot, but we've been left with some VERY interesting match ups in this Final Four. Is it picks you want?

UNC over Nova
I heard so much nonsense heading into last weekend about how if Hansborough played well, UNC would beat Oklahoma and Blake Griffin that I was tempted to Phil Leotardo myself under a car. Does anyone who has been watching any basketball over the last year actually think that this kid is the engine of that team? Ty Lawson's bouncing back from a toe injury and playing as well as he has makes him a lock for the Lottery come draft time, while that OTHER guy's ceiling is in the late thirties. If he wanted big money, he should have come out last year.

UConn over Michigan State
I was wrong. Way wrong. I thought UConn losing a top-flight swing player would matter. I thought Thabeet was too nice to truly lead this squad. I thought everyone would notice (and care about) just how dirty the last 10 years have been in Storrs have been. I thought that Jim Calhoun's deal with the devil was up in 2009. Look, you live and you learn. Going in, I had a real good feeling that this was the most flawed number 1 seed. But I tell you what I know now: there is no way a team plays a championship game essentially at home. The world doesn't work that way. Plus, I like screwing with Nufer.

As far as Opening Day goes...well, here comes the dog days of summer. Which means to me is NFL Draft, NFL players being idiots in the offseason, NBA Finals in June, the ESPYS (kidding again), minicamps, training camps, and college football is that much closer.

Quickie NBA Finals preview: Cavs over Lakers in 6. Book it now.

We're back here at OLASB, and better than ever. Get ready to get the sports, get the insight, and get the funny on a much more regular basis.

Get on board.

Been Too Long

As I have been gently reminded by 'concerned' parties (Andrew "I love the fans" Folkner), the blog has been bereft of activity as of late. But have no fear, I've spent the last month watching NBA and NCAA basketball, preparing myself to dole out nuggets of knowledge to best prepare you for the undercard (March Madness) and the main event (NBA Playoffs) coming up. But, before we get into that, let's spend some time on some things that have grinded my gears over the last month:

Reporters Jumping the Gun: I get why it happens. In this 24 hour news cycle that has evolved, everyone wants to be the first to break a story. I get that. The ESPN news ticker even ascribes information based on who gets the story emailed in first. There are three specific examples that have caught my eye over the past month, a best case, bad case, and worst case.

Best case: The Cleveland Plains Dealer broke word that Joe Smith would be signing with the Cavaliers before negotiations were finished. While anyone who follows the Association could see that coming, the newspaper broke this report while the final paper work was being ironed out, and Smith's people were seriously considering a competing offer from the Lakers (which might tell you what they think about Bynum's chances to return this year, but that's a whole nother thing). Sure, the Cavs ended up signing Joe Smith, and the paper didn't have egg on it's face, but there are other ways for this to play.

Bad case: The Atlanta Journal Constitution (beacon of news that it is) reported earlier this year that Ken Griffey Jr. would be joining the Braves, and attempt to be an everyday outfielder for the squad. Less than 24 hours later, word came from Seattle people that Griffey was coming home. Did the paper cause Griffey to back out? Was this an overzealous writer (and editor(s)) trying to 'scoop' a big signing? What really gets me is that there was no accountability, no call for any one to explain this mess up, and I know what you're thinking: it's just one time with a player signing, what's the big deal?

Worst case: During the coverage of the tragedy off the Florida coast, where three men lost their lives, hundreds of news outlets were covering the search and rescue efforts. After nearly 40 hours, a man was found clinging to an overturned craft. Minutes later, a soon-to-be debunked report had the workers also finding another man nearby. Is this the same as being wrong on a signing? Hell no. But, it is symptomatic of the same problem, and the result was the same: no one being held to a journalistic standard. Bullshit.

The David Beckham Situation: Actually, the less said here, the better.

The NBA's Burgeoning Financial Woes: It's already been said by someone with a larger audience than me (Bill Simmons). Though, I was out to lunch with someone like 4 days before this column ran , and I made the same points. Thus proving that I am some sort of sports genius. Or that I have my eyes open. Whatever.

Spring Training/The World Baseball Classic: Wow, the Dutch beat the Dominican Republic in an event where I couldn't name the prize if you paid me. Is it bad that during the Venezuela (I think)/USA game Saturday night, I was sitting with my friends Dallas and Justin, and we had a 25 minute debate as to where these games were actually taking place? Our final verdict was a tie between The Twilight Zone, the 'Lost' island, and The Land of the Lost. Is it also bad that our subsequent hour long debate as to which is the best television series of the three was infinitely more entertaining than the game itself?

Tiger Woods' Comeback, ARod's Karma, Jay Cutler vs. The Broncos, T.O. Trapped in Buffalo: Oh, no wait. I love all of these. Seriously, if any one of those four were a reality show, nothing could stop me from watching. Nothing.

Ok, there it is. I'm done bitching. For now. Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog that will be posted in a more timely manner for all to see and enjoy.

But First...

A Word From Our Sponsors...

(OLASB would like to point out that none of the below videos actually sponsor this blog. I just like these NBA-related commercials and wanted to share. That is all.)

Mid-Range Jumpers

Reports of my demise (Nez) have been greatly exaggerated. Sure, I haven't been posting as much, but I usually go into something of a funk after the Super Bowl, since there's no football anywhere near me except for the Pro Bowl, ESPN Classic, and beating Bowser's head in on Madden. It's just not the same. But, I can use this opportunity to bring back American's longest-running, rarely updated, OLASB post format...

Hope eveyone had a great Super Bowl. I had one because my best bet won...I mean, I was too scared of my own bad karma to actually listen to my self, but it's always nice to be right, ya know. Before we dive in, I'm going to touch on the two biggest sports stories as of late, with as little breath as possible:

Michael Phelps: Thank God he's white.
A-Rod: How is anyone surpised?

Ahem. Now, the search continues for the lost art of the Mid-Range Jumper!

• So, are we finally going to figure out how bad the Shaq trade was for Phoenix? It got rid of D'Antoni, it killed Nash's mojo, it moved Shaq into the number 1 scoring option, and NOW they have to move Amare because of the last week of rumors.
• Bye, bye Favre. Again.
• How has no one picked up Manny yet? All he does is get on base (like, literally 3/4 times at bat in the playoffs), hit bombs, and help you win games. So what? You've hit on a girl with more obvioys issues...though, I guess that wouldn't cost 25 million a year. It was a bad analogy.
• At least they finally are bringing H-O-R-S-E to the All-Star game. And renaming it G-E-I-C-O because of monetary considerations. Ugh.
• I hate it when my friends are right, but Uzo wrote a great piece on Bud Selig and steriods. Read it.
• Top 5 plays of a GREAT Super Bowl (after 3 re-watchings): 5. Larry Fitzgerald slant and run for TD2 4. Larry Fitzgerald catch (that was a drop) for TD1 3. Hines Ward early catch, and immediate dissapearance 2. San Antonio (how does everyone still get his name wrong!) Holmes game winner 1. 100 yard-INT return.
• Looks like we're getting 2 Bulldogs in round 1 of the NFL Draft...and GMs, if you take Beanie Wells over Knowshon, you're NUTS (glares at A.J. Smith)
• Actual text recieved while watching Cavs-Lakers Sunday: "Random NBA question probably only you can answer; on a tip in or putback, is the player rewarded a rebound as well as the points?" Yes, he is awarded both Jake. Thanks for recognizing my sports knowledge.
• Brook Lopez is freaking great. If Derrick Rose wasn't as trascendent as he is, he would have the ROY on lock. Oh, and these Rookies are going to blow out the Sophmores this weekend.
• National signing day bugs the life out of me and I don't know why...it is almost as annoying as knowing when pitchers and catchers start up.
• Did you know that these UNC seniors have NEVER lost at Duke? They can get the 4-year sweep tonight! Go Heels!
• I'll take the LeBron "They stole my triple double" performance in the Garden over Kobe's 61 every day of the week. Mostly because Kobe wiped Bernard King from the record books (yuck) and his teammates were about as effective as lawn furniture.
• Lil' Wayne was on Around the Horn yesterday. Hm.
• Breaking news: Michael Phelps redeems image. Yes he does.
• Big Poppa Stern has been Commish for 25 years now. Continue basking in his greatness.
• Underreported story of the year so far: Dwayne Wade's divorce, and the subsequent stories that have come out surrounding it.

I think I'm about done for now. Check back here tomorrow for...something, and I'll see ya'll Saturday for my annual NBA All-Star Saturay Night blog. Peace.

10 Years Ago...

He walked away. You know, the guy who convinced us a man can really fly...

"What Doesn't Kill You...

Only makes you stranger."

The Joker said that in the latest Batman movie. You know, the one that made about a bajillion dollars and quite literally EVERYONE saw this summer? Well, a good basketball blog has likened the Seven Seconds or Less Suns (the Mike D'Antoni style of play) with the Joker's chaotic idiom in the movie. And it holds up exceptionally well.

Read This.

Why so serious?