Jul 8, 2009

Mid-Range Jumpers

The Association, save me!

That would be melodramatic if it wasn't so true. Armed with only a surprisingly engaging US Open and a historic Wimbledon Final, I've been held sports-hostage by the ooooh soooo looong baseball season. While the Braves stumble to another .500 record (more on that later), I thought it was time to dust off America's favorite, rarely updated blog format, where we celebrate the lost art of the Mid-Range Jumper.

Lot's of stuff on the plate today, and surprise, surprise, it's heavy on the NBA, NFL and college football, but I'm trying to branch out. Bear with me.

  • Let's start close to home re: free agency...so, we bring in Jamal Crawford, bring back Bibby, and are trying to keep Marvin. Does the front office not remember what happened when we tried the all-swing man team a few years back? Do they plan on talking Marvin into coming off the bench? Will he stand for it? Will the fan base? Wait, a basketball fan base in Atlanta? STAY TUNED!
  • At least the Pistons didn't mortgage their future by locking up two mid-level guys for long, expensive contracts in a year where the cap went down for the second time in league history and right before the biggest drop ever next year. Wait, they did that? Oh, and I hope the Rip Hamilton period was good for the fans because he is G-O-N-E. Probably to Atlanta, so we can have more swing men.
  • Chad Johnson (I refuse to acknowledge that ridiculous last name he's adopted) apparently wants to tweet on the sideline. When it's this easy, it almost isn't fun.
  • AMAZING show put on by Roddick and Federer last weekend...if Tennis could routinely put on shows like that, they would do more than suck in all us hung over people on the occasional Sunday mornings.
  • Dallas Mavericks are apparently convinced that this is the year 2001, and Jason Kidd deserves a 3 year deal. Mark Cuban is routinely touted for his intelligent business decisions, so I guess every other point guard on Earth will die of some unknown ball-handling disease in the next 3 years, and Kidd will survive it. Those Mavs are so savvy.
  • Take that last bullet, change Dallas Mavericks to Orlando Magic, change Jason Kidd to Vince Carter, and change point guard to swing man. Wait, if that were to really happen, would the Hawks trot out Bibby, Horford, and Zaza?
  • I don't want to hear a word about Andruw Jones hitting three home runs in his three first at bats this year. I just don't. After the vanishing act in LA last year, his career is forever tarnished.
  • Rasheed Wallace to the Celtics would never have happened if Big Poppa Stern still wielded his power judiciously.
  • Did you know the WNBA is still around? And that Atlanta has a team? And they are called the Dream? And that none of that is made up? (I haven't made a WNBA joke in months, and don't forget, they got NEXT!)
  • Sports prediction: Tiger wins everything by 2012, forces white folks to quit golf and solidify hold on hockey...for now.
  • If AI ends up in Memphis with OJ Mayo, then there will be a dearth of basketballs in the state of Tennessee...a dearth I say!
  • Hey Lake-Show, way to follow up a title with downgrading defensively from Ariza to Ron-Ron...he is old.
  • Speaking of the Rockets (I wasn't talking about them, but about a player who just left them...whatever), I feel legitimately bad for the entire front office for the way McGrady and Yao have turned out...but it's still really, really funny.
  • Shaq and Penny. Shaq and Kobe. Shaq and Wade. Shaq and LeBron. One of these will not work. Three of these already happened.

If the WNBA was playing in my very own back yard, I would close the blinds. (I gotta be me!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!