Wow

Ok, I want everyone to realize something. We are truly witnessing (sorry Sully) something beyond special. And, after watching him eviscerate my Hawks, it still kind of stings to admit it, but this is a once in a lifetime occurrence that deserves 1,047 words from me, whether I like it or not.

LeBron Freaking James.

Never mind the triple double last night. Never mind the 17 points in the fourth. Never mind the ridiculous gut-check required to play that well down 3-1 in the conference finals. No, what we're seeing is bigger than a single game. His splits for the postseason? 36.1 points per game, 9.3 rebounds per game and 7.3 assists a game. Bill Simmons has what he calls the 42 Club (explained here), where you add up those three figures to determine postseason greatness (plus, the fact that Dirk (41.6, '06) blew his shot at the club with those finals solidifies the accuracy of the scale and captures the injustice done to my favorite 7-foot jump shooter. Great. Now I sound like Mark Stein).

Here's your 42 Club (I really wish I'd have thought of this first; damn you Simmons!) since the merger for reference:

Michael Jordan (6 times): 49.4 ('89); 50.7 ('90); 45.9 ('91); 46.5 ('92); 47.8 ('93); 43.8 ('97)
Shaquille O'Neal (4X): 43.6 ('98); 49.2 ('00); 49.0 ('01); 43.9 ('02)
Larry Bird (4X): 42.0 ('81); 44.4 ('84); 43.4 ('86); 44.2 ('87)
Moses Malone (2X): 43.0 ('81); 43.3 ('83)
Magic Johnson (2X): 43.8 ('86); 42.5 ('91)
Karl Malone (2X): 43.0 ('92); 42.9 ('94)
Hakeem Olajuwon (2X): 44.2 ('94); 47.8 ('95)
Tim Duncan (2X): 42.7 ('01); 45.4 ('03)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (1X): 47.1 ('80)
Charles Barkley (1X): 44.5 ('93)
Kobe Bryant (1X): 42.8 ('01)
Allen Iverson (1X): 43.7 ('01)
Kevin Garnett (1X): 44.0 ('04)
LeBron James (1X): 44.7 ('06)

Do some quick math on the numbers above for Mr. James (and he has earned the Mr.) and you can see that not only are we talking about a legendary run, but an entrant into the hallowed air of the 50 Club. Current occupants? Michael Jeffery Jordan, when he officially changed his name to Michael Freaking Jordan in 1990. He threw up a 36.7 ppg, 7.2 rpg, and 6.8 apg, clocking him in at 50.7...and LeBron is currently pacing at 52.7.

52.7.

Dear God.

But the big rub here is Michael didn't get his first ring until a year later...but what that postseason flurry did do is something even more important: it firmly established him as a cut above his peers (Barkley, Malone, Robinson, Drexler), and it announced that he was here to replace to old guard (Dumars, Thomas, Bird, Magic). And this is where LeBron stands. Whether or not he wins the ring now or next year is of little importance in the larger scheme of things. Maybe this is the summer where Kobe vaults himself into the top-10 players ever discussion by winning a ring where he wasn't the second banana (and if you don't think he was the sidekick during those first three titles, you're nuts). Maybe this is the summer where I get to be all teary eyed because I get to watch my boy Melo (the should-have-been ROY over LeBron way back when) not only grow up, but establish himself as a champion. Maybe this is the summer where Dwight Howard proves that you don't need silly things like 'post offense besides tip-ins and open dunks' to be a successful big man.

Maybe this is another year where LeBron falls short. Maybe his indomitable will is not enough to overcome Stan Van Gundy/Ron Jeremy. Maybe he runs out of gas here, I mean, he has played over 550 NBA games already. Maybe he's playing on fumes, and maybe these Delonte West and Mo Williams threes stop falling, and he is left out there truly alone. Maybe these Cavs survive the Magic, but are so winded that they can't manage to finish in the Finals.

That's all on the table, and it's all ok.

Because, with his performance so far (52.7!!!), he's pulled a 1990 Jordan on the Association. He has officially announced to the older guard (Duncan, O'Neal, Garnett, MAMBA) that he has arrived to replace them...and put his peers (Howard, Anthony, Paul, Wade) on notice that they are his peers in age only; he has come and will be placing a stranglehold on the NBA for the foreseeable future. Ironically, the player who is to blame for this explosion is the same player who has the most to lose by his rise.

Fellow Most Valuable Puppet Kobe Bryant brought this on himself, and on all of the rest of the Association through his participation in the Redeem team last summer. Not only did he remind LeBron that there was a plateau he had yet to reach (see: last possessions, Gold Medal game), but he gave him insight into the indomitable work ethic that pushes Kobe past the miles on his body and the years in the Association. He got to see first hand how hard this cat works, both offensively and defensively every day for 3 months. That would have an impact on anyone, especially anyone who has had designs on being the best player ever, who captured his first SI cover at 16, who has had consistent questions about his dedication to the game. So, members of his class, you know who to thank when you're compared to Gary Payton, Charles Barkley and Karl Malone after you retire...you know, that 'great career, no rings' group that these guys belong to because they happened to be born in the wrong years: Mr. Kobe Bean Bryant.

But, maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe he wills the Cavs past the Magic this year, eviscerates whoever they play in the Finals, becomes a god in Cleveland, never leaves, captures 6 MVPs (three in a row at a time, because people get tired of voting for him (see Malone, Karl) and give it to someone less deserving), puts the stranglehold on the league NOW as opposed to a year from now, and we get to watch Dwayne Wade complete his reenactment of Penny Hardaway's career sooner than expected, because LeBron stole his will to compete. Because it is going to happen. It's all a matter of when.

FML

Well, at least THAT'S over. LeBron 'General Sherman' James is done with his second march through the fair city of Atlanta. At least we put up a fight. I guess, in the grand coronation of King James, this makes me and the rest of the city a collective
Full season recap coming this week.

Playoffs?

For the first time in a VERY long time, I got to go to a playoff basketball game Sunday. Before now, I either didn't have tickets (last year), lived in a city that ALSO never made the playoffs (New York) or we didn't make the playoffs (every year except for New York and last year). So, when the opportunity arose for me to attend a Hawks playoff game, I jumped at it.

Not only did I get to see a fun (albeit, not-too-dramatic game), but I found out that Atlanta sports teams too have fans, that we have developed a legitimate home court advantage that helps out our players, that we have intelligent enough fans to collectively scream 'no' when Josh Smith is lining up a three-pointer. That last thing is not a joke, that happened.

I got caught up in it. I booed D-Wade, I cheered Joe Johnson (6-8 from 3?), I was confused when people chanted 'Zaza'. Bottom line, I loved every second. I got to see Atlanta win a seven game series for the first time since 1970. I got to see a not-so-loyal fanbase get rewarded.

And now I get to see us get creamed by the (checks watch) soon to be named MVP.

Where amazing happens.

Go Time

No jokes. No stunts. No elaborate anti-jinxes.

Just good, controlled, smart basketball tonight. There is no reason that the better team shouldn't leave Miami a winner.

Linkage:

Josh Smith needs to play within himself.

Time to end this in six, and get ready for the Cavs.

But, without looking past the task at hand.

This first round of the playoffs have left me a wreck. From Ray-Ray scoring 51 points in 58 minutes last night to J.J. Reddick jumping off of milk boxes and filling the void to eliminate the Sixers ALSO last night, I just know my heart can't take a Game 7 back in Atlanta on Sunday.

No Al. No Marvin. No excuses...we're the better team. Time to go show the world.

PLAYOFFS

*Lazy Blogger Note - the draft diary is coming, I'm running into some formatting issues, but it's coming. I think. I hope.*

Welcome to the best first round of the NBA playoffs possibly in history, and definatly in recent memory. As the Hawks have pushed the Heat to the brink (and I might have figured out an in for tickets to the Highlight Factory), I thought I'd touch on my favorite subplots thus far:

5. Teams Openly Quitting on Coaches
Hornets and Jazz, come on down! Jerry Sloan has historically grated on teams over the course of a season, and this year appears to be no different. He disarmed AK-47, and those first two games were a portrait of a team that hates their coach. At least he was able to rally the troops in game 3, before falling in 5 like I said they would. And at least they didn't poop on their fans like the New Orleans Hornets. 58 points? 58 freaking points?!? I happened to be watching this monstrosity, and while I like watching history in action, I have no desire to watch a snuff film.

4. The Return of the 15-Second Rule
The rule that truly defines the playoffs. "Thou shalt not allow thy whistle to decide the game within the last 15 seconds." While the officiating has been wholly and completely inexcusable, the fact that they let Brad Miller side-slam Ray Allen, and then let Rondo knock his teeth out. Speaking of the C's point guard...

3. The Emergence of the Playoff Hero
Most years, this subplot would be, "The Securing of the Too Big Contract Next Year", but in our current economic climate, this will have to do. Players like Ray Allen, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James, and Kobe Bryant have all reminded us why they earn their money in May. But, we've also gotten to bear witness to the emergence of players who we either didn't expect, or had convinced ourselves that they would never 'get it': Carmelo Anthony, Rajon Rondo, Kendrick Perkins, Ben Gordon, Derrick Rose, Josh Smith, Brandon Roy, Dwight Howard's elbow...lot of stepping up so far.

2. The Old School Series
This Hawks/Heat series has been a throwback for various reasons, cheif among them the physicality displayed by both squads. I don;t know how I feel about the prospect of WAY too much Zaza in Game 6, but I can't knock either team for playing their butts off. Except for when the Heat got out of the way to let Josh try that ridiculous dunk.

1. The Amazing
This is where amazing happens. Hokey ending, maybe, but you could play a black and white film of me making toast, set it to that music, and I'd tear up.

The Playoffs

Or whatever.

Look, there were initially only three series I was intrigued by: Trailblazers/Rockets, Spurs/Mavs, and Hawks/Heat. One of those three is too close to home (literally and figuratively) for me to be logical about (the refs stole Game 2! I'm getting Heat/Mavs flashbacks!!!) , and the other two weren't enough to garner me writing about the whole playoffs. But, since we're here now, I'll update my thoughts, with predictions.

Lakers over Utah in 5 - It's tough to win in a building that houses the most offensive fans in sport, so I'll say the Lakers split in Salt Lake, and close out in Staples.

Cavs over Detroit in 4 - Get your brooms out...with potential challengers falling by the wayside, Bron-Bron and company will send an early message.

Nuggets over NO in 5 - Apparently, Chauncy Billups used a time machine, and got himself from 2004.

Chicago over Boston in 6 - No way the kids win a Game 7 in Boston...look for Kevin Garnett to actually explode during game five on the bench.

San Antonio over Dallas in 7 - Instant classic series. I don't feel remotely good about taking the Spurs here, but who guards Tony Parker? Jason Kidd couldn't stop Tony Schalub.

Orlando over Philly in 6 - Nice show in Game 1 Sixers, let's see you keep it up with that HUGE liability (financially, and in a basketball sense) at center

Portland over Houston in 6 - No Deke? NO WIN!!!

Atlanta over Miami in 6 - My twitter is being used to vent my frustrations. Last night:

Big Poppa Stern, I stand in obvious awe of your greatness, and I know you want Wade/LeBron in round 2, but c'mon man...

You can follow the rest of my thoughts doled out in 140 character increments by following me.. (http://twitter.com/dpalm66)

I just plugged my twitter. I'll now light myself on fire.

But before that, I figured out how to blog on this thing from my phone. So look for the Draft Preview tomorrow, and my annual running draft Saturday. (Last year) (Year before that)

Get as excited as me. Now.

Previewing the East

Welcome to your annual Eastern Conference Playoff preview, and since for the first time in the oughts (that's this millennium to you double-zero preferring folks), the East has secured a winning record against the West, I get to stop calling it the LEastern Conference. Good for you fellas.

On to the playoff picture:

8. Detroit Pistons
Apparently, whether they want it or not. At the time of this writing, it doesn't look like the Bobcats are going to finish the push to catch them, and since the Bucks vanished since beating the Celtics 10 games back (including a home loss to the current number 4 seed last night), it looks like the Stones are going to be backing into the playoffs. And they are going to run into the 'we've got home court all the way through, and the best player in the league' buzz saw that is that Cavs. G'night Dumars and co.

7. Chicago Bulls
Sure, they currently hold the same record as the woe-begotten Pistons, but a head-to-head edge gives them the seeding advantage...and what an advantage it is. Instead of facing the Boy who would be King in round 1, they get the Boston Retirees. I thought that they would have enough to repeat, or at least be feisty in these playoffs, but between the injury to KG and the wear and tear on the remaining big two, look for Derrick Rose and the Baby Bulls (are they still really that young?) to put up more than a good fight, and if they can steal one in Boston, pull of the upset.

6. Philidelphia 76ers
What? Despite the Elton Brand experiment going awry (I told you so!), Andre Miller, AI 2.0, and company have somehow snuck into the playoffs. The less said the better. I am literally in shock.

5. Miami Heat
Dwayne Wade has sufficiently erased any hope that he is the second coming of Penny Hardaway, cementing himself possibly as the Karl Malone of this current generation; destined to toil away, and always fall short of the transcendent player of his time.

4. Atlanta Hawks
Home playoff series baby. After having to wait 10 years between playoff appearances last time, the denizens of the Highlight Factory are headed to their second straight postseason. What's more is that they are going to have a home playoff series. That's right, a home series for one of the NBA's best home teams (29-10). The only thing I would ask for now is a healthy Marvin Williams. Oh, and tickets. So if you have either of those, holla at ya boy. I'll hook you up with a shirt. Or something.

3. Orlando Magic
And now we separate the weak from the chaff. The men from the boys. The effeminate from the possibly Canadian (do I have to capitalize that? *looks it up* dammit). The real beauty of the Boston meltdown? They've positioned the Magic to be within striking distance of the 2-seed as we head to the stretch run, and I think they'll push for it, not because of a match-up issue, but just to assert their dominance in this new East.

2. Boston Celtics
This is a rough one. Fresh off of last years dismissal (yeah, I said it) of the rest of the Association, they are in one of the worst positions heading into the Second Season. Not only did their title-quest last year leave everyone else in the League hating their guts, but they lost their emotional center when KG went down in a very fishy, worse-than-they're-saying non-contact injury. My love of hyphenation notwithstanding, I don't think these guys have it in them to get out of the first round with either the 76ers or the Bulls waiting, and smelling older blood in the water. It is every generations intent to replace what has come before, and it looks like their time is now.

1. Cleveland Cavaliers
And here we are. 2009. The final coronation of LeBron James. Feels about right, doesn't it? I know that the 2008 Olympics showed that all the other players consider Kobe to be the best, but I think that the combination of a year of non-stop ball, plus picking up workout habits from the rest of the the Redeem Team, minus hosting the ESPYS has really pushed him ahead of the Mamba in that respect. These guys aren't losing at home (boasting a 38-1 home tally to date), and look for the intensity inside Quicken Loans Arena to be stepped up in the post season. Once they secure home court all the way, go ahead and get the crown ready: King James, indeed.

Been Too Long

As I have been gently reminded by 'concerned' parties (Andrew "I love the fans" Folkner), the blog has been bereft of activity as of late. But have no fear, I've spent the last month watching NBA and NCAA basketball, preparing myself to dole out nuggets of knowledge to best prepare you for the undercard (March Madness) and the main event (NBA Playoffs) coming up. But, before we get into that, let's spend some time on some things that have grinded my gears over the last month:

Reporters Jumping the Gun: I get why it happens. In this 24 hour news cycle that has evolved, everyone wants to be the first to break a story. I get that. The ESPN news ticker even ascribes information based on who gets the story emailed in first. There are three specific examples that have caught my eye over the past month, a best case, bad case, and worst case.

Best case: The Cleveland Plains Dealer broke word that Joe Smith would be signing with the Cavaliers before negotiations were finished. While anyone who follows the Association could see that coming, the newspaper broke this report while the final paper work was being ironed out, and Smith's people were seriously considering a competing offer from the Lakers (which might tell you what they think about Bynum's chances to return this year, but that's a whole nother thing). Sure, the Cavs ended up signing Joe Smith, and the paper didn't have egg on it's face, but there are other ways for this to play.

Bad case: The Atlanta Journal Constitution (beacon of news that it is) reported earlier this year that Ken Griffey Jr. would be joining the Braves, and attempt to be an everyday outfielder for the squad. Less than 24 hours later, word came from Seattle people that Griffey was coming home. Did the paper cause Griffey to back out? Was this an overzealous writer (and editor(s)) trying to 'scoop' a big signing? What really gets me is that there was no accountability, no call for any one to explain this mess up, and I know what you're thinking: it's just one time with a player signing, what's the big deal?

Worst case: During the coverage of the tragedy off the Florida coast, where three men lost their lives, hundreds of news outlets were covering the search and rescue efforts. After nearly 40 hours, a man was found clinging to an overturned craft. Minutes later, a soon-to-be debunked report had the workers also finding another man nearby. Is this the same as being wrong on a signing? Hell no. But, it is symptomatic of the same problem, and the result was the same: no one being held to a journalistic standard. Bullshit.

The David Beckham Situation: Actually, the less said here, the better.

The NBA's Burgeoning Financial Woes: It's already been said by someone with a larger audience than me (Bill Simmons). Though, I was out to lunch with someone like 4 days before this column ran , and I made the same points. Thus proving that I am some sort of sports genius. Or that I have my eyes open. Whatever.

Spring Training/The World Baseball Classic: Wow, the Dutch beat the Dominican Republic in an event where I couldn't name the prize if you paid me. Is it bad that during the Venezuela (I think)/USA game Saturday night, I was sitting with my friends Dallas and Justin, and we had a 25 minute debate as to where these games were actually taking place? Our final verdict was a tie between The Twilight Zone, the 'Lost' island, and The Land of the Lost. Is it also bad that our subsequent hour long debate as to which is the best television series of the three was infinitely more entertaining than the game itself?

Tiger Woods' Comeback, ARod's Karma, Jay Cutler vs. The Broncos, T.O. Trapped in Buffalo: Oh, no wait. I love all of these. Seriously, if any one of those four were a reality show, nothing could stop me from watching. Nothing.

Ok, there it is. I'm done bitching. For now. Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog that will be posted in a more timely manner for all to see and enjoy.

Playoff Picks

Real Life has gotten in the way of in-depth analysis...as always, home team is in bold.

Baltimore (+3) over Tennessee

Carolina (-10) over Arizona

Philly (+4) over Giants

San Diego (+6) over Pittsburgh

I think B'More wins outright, and Philly and San Diego cover. Take it to the bank.

Round 1 Playoff Recap

Atlanta vs. Arizona

It was way better than we could have ever dreamed. That's what I kept telling myself regarding the Falcons season, even as I watched Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, and Edge James (!) end our magical run that produced the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year, NFL Coach of the Year, a legion of new Falcons fans, and a legitimate resurrection after the combined assassination attempt by Michael Vick and Bobby Petrino.

Demitroff, Smith, and co. had every reason to fail this year...and they overcame it all. They even made a certain blogger eat certain words...and enjoy it. Congrats to the Carolina Panthers, who are going to blow the doors off of the Cards next week.

Indy vs. San Diego

Well shit. Another week of Phillip Rivers. Another week of Lil' Darren Sproles. Another week of Norv looking absolutely lost on the sidelines. On the plus side, another week of Darth Vader/LDT jokes, another week of an 8-8 team in the playoffs, and no more worrying about if we were headed for the "2 Mannings. 1 Trophy" Super Bowl, complete with approximently 23,743 interviews with Archie "I never won nothing" Manning.

I knew this game would be close since these two always seem to play each other well, and you could tell that even Peyton knew he'd never get the ball after losing the toss. I hate Rivers, but he managed that overtime exceptionally well, and once they got that phantom defensive holding call, it was all over.

Baltimore vs. Miami

Blowout central. What can I say about Miami that hasn't been said about Afgahestan? They looked bombed out and depleated. My favorite part of the game were the postgame comments by the Ravens. Ones like this one:

"I don't think it's Chad Pennington's fault...It's probably Ed Reed and Rex Ryan's fault."
- Terrell Suggs

Or this one:

"It's kind of expected at this point. It doesn't impress us. It's kind of like, 'Oh, Ed got a pick.' It's kind of like Ray [Lewis] makes a tackle, or a head coach saying we have practice tomorrow. It's kind of expected."
- Trevor Price

And the weirdest part is how right they are. I was listening to this game on the radio for whatever reason, and as soon as I heard Ed Reed get that pick, I muttered under my breath, "House." Hey, maybe I'm psychic!

Philly vs. Minnesota

Tevaris "The Axe Murderer" Jackson strikes again, dooming his own team by agreeing to be the started. All respect to Wanderlei Silva, but you may have to give up the nickname. No one, and I mean NO ONE, puts an axe to his own team like young Mr. Jackson. Sure, you've got a great run defense, a stifling pass rush, and the best running back in the NFL. But, between Jackson and Brad "I was outcoached by Andy Reid?" Childress, it's like the greatest tag team ever. Only the opposite.

Week 16 Pickage

Another week of games, another chance for me to be COMPLETELY WRONG. Home teams, as always, in bold.

Indy (-6) over Jacksonville

Yeah. Well. I know Indy barely beat Detroit, and the Jags looked decent last week, and Marvin Harrison isn't playing...I dunno. I just think Manning is going to continue to find a way to win. Now I feel dirty.

Baltimore (+4) over Dallas

This is more my heart than my brain, since the Falcons need Dallas to lose. But I will say this; I think this Baltimore offensive line is playing WAY better than the Giants one Ware and company victimized last week on Sunday night.

Cleveland (-2.5) over Cincy

Fitzpatrick! Dorsey! I thought the Seattle/St. Louis game was the worst match up of the year. I was mistaken.

Detroit (-7) over New Orleans

Don't get me wrong, Detroit loses this game. They won't win at all this year...but they have been feisty, and who on the Saints covers Calvin "Megatron" Johnson? Exactly.

Pittsburgh (+2) over Tennessee

Tennessee is beat up, they look to be taking their foot off the throttle, and the Steelers only have one speed. Knocking people over/out.

Miami (-4) over Kansas City

This line could not be high enough.

San Francisco (-5.5) over St. Louis

One of these interim coaches needs to be held on to after the season. It is not Scott Linnehan.

New England (-7.5) over Arizona

The 'nothing to play for' Cardinals coming east to play in what looks to be sloppy conditions in Foxboro. Hm.

San Diego (+3.5) over Tampa Bay

So, apparently the Chargers are REALLY going to try to force this showdown next week to see which 8-8 team will be representing the AFC West. Ugh.

Seattle (+5) over Jets

Wait, wait, wait. The Jets haven't come close to looking like a decent team on the West Coast all year, and they're GIVING 5 points to a kinda feisty Seahawks team, on the day of Mike Holmgren's last home game?

Houston (-7) over Oakland

Natural tease...that's all I'm sayin...

Buffalo (+6.5) over Denver

And the only thing standing in the way of my AFC West perfect storm is the Buffalo Bills? I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Philly (-5) over Washington

If Jim Zorn can stop looking over his shoulder for a knife wielding Dan Snyder, they might have a chance.

Atlanta (+3) over Minnesota

Memories of 1998. 10 years!

Carolina (-3) over Giants

How am I taking this many road teams? File that under obvious foreshadowing.

Chicago (-4) over Green Bay

One of these teams has something to play for. The other wishes they hadn't let Bret Favre go.

NBA Season Preview

My NFL picks have been awful, and subsequently pulled down. Sorry. I don't want to think about how bad it's been for me. Though, someone has been enjoying my recent bout of bad luck; let's just say their name starts with a 'B' and ends in an 'ookie'. Ugh. Anyway, my favorite time of the year is here, and no, it's not the inevitable Bud Selig meltdown that reminds us that mental patients shouldn't run professional sports - it's basketball season!

Looking back at my predictions from last year, I didn't do TOO badly, so hopefully this short team by team breakdown holds up a little too.

Atlantic Division

Boston - The champs are back. They reloaded, kept KG and Pierce happy, and Ray Allen is too OCD not to be ready. They lose the pre-game Posey hugs, and held on to Cassell, but I still look for good things as they hang #17 tonight.

Philly - Ignore the fact that Elton Brand has looked slow in the preseason, that they can't run with him on the floor, and that he is coming off of a torn Achilles tendon. Focus on the Andres and Lou Williams to be the most exciting show in town, until the play in...

Toronto - Love the addition of Jermaine O'Neal, if indeed he has anything left in the tank. Will free up Bosh from playing in the middle, which he isn't that great at, and with Calderon at the point, they will be the 7-Seconds or less Raptors...or maybe 10-Turnover Toronto. We'll see.

New Jersey - Devin Harris will be an All Star in a few years, despite video evidence to the contrary. His supporting cast isn't terrible, and I'd put the over-under of games Vince tanks at 30 (take the over).

New York - Mike D'Antoni claims he loves the 'challenge' this Knicks roster presents to his style of coaching. If by 'challenge' he means that they couldn't possibly fit his system any worse, than this is a hell of a 'challenge'. At least he'll have comfortable evenings on his bed of money.

*Breaking News* - Eddy Curry is stunned not to be in rotation. Rest of the world is stunned he is stunned.

Central

Cleveland - What do you mean they signed Mo Williams? What do you mean this might mean LeBron will stop outside shooting? What do mean they are still the second best defensive team in the East?

Detroit - It hurts me to say it. We're officially on the downside of the 'cockiest guys who only won 1 ring' era. Billups seemed more than a little off as the season wore on, and Rasheed Wallace + new coach = lot's of great television.

Chicago - Derrick Rose looks good. Really good. That said, there is a logjam at the guard position, and if cooler heads prevail, it could be a decent running team. Why didn't D'Antoni take this job again? (Glances at aforementioned piles of money) Right...

Milwalkee - Richard Jefferson, come on down! Still don't like the guy, but I enjoy the addition of Scott Skiles on the bench for the defense, and Andrew Bogut might convince me he's not terrible.

Indiana - I was wrong about them last year, so maybe I'll be wrong this year. But, if I'm not, this team should play 0 nationally televised games. ZERO.

Southeast

Orlando - Dwight Howard has been found after vanishing in the medal rounds of the Olympics, we can all rest easy. I love their front court of DHow, Rashad "Wait, how big is my contract" Lewis and Hedo Turkaglu, and their big reserves ain't bad either. Too bad no one is backing up Jameer Nelson adequately. Huh. There's something I never thought I'd say.

Miami - Dwayne Wade effectively ruined the best thing I was ever going to write. I have been working on a DWade - Penny Hardaway piece since I started this stupid blog last year, and in one Olympics, he rendered it all moot. Their coach looks like Steve Pizzi.

Atlanta - Maybe the best starting 5 in the division. I mean that. They can play fast (Bibby, Smith), they can play half court (Johnson, Horford) and they can play adequately (Williams). The problem is you can't play just 5 players over 48 minutes.

Washington - Injury bug. I think the preseason stuff is going to put them in a hole that will be insurmountable once Caron and Agent Zero make it back.

Charlotte - Larry Brown baby. He hates young players and excels with vets who play defense. What about that roster made him think this was a good fit?

Eastern Conference Playoff Seeds

1. Boston
2. Cleveland
3. Orlando
4. Detroit
5. Philly
6. Toronto
7. Miami
8. Atlanta

Northwest

Utah - Williams getting hurt early won't matter as much as one would think; this is a veteran team that played lights out last year after getting Korver from the Sixers. If they can hold on to Boozer, and keep him happy, look for another deep run out of the most inappropriately nicknamed team in the NBA.

Portland - Holy crap. I guess the Tampa Bay Rays model of success can work in other sports (if you're really bad long enough, you will stockpile enough picks to be good). Without Greg Oden, the flirted with the playoffs, with him, they're on the third date with the playoffs. Count them in.

Denver - Count them out. Look, their defense wasn't as bad as everyone tried to make it seem (fastest pace in basketball = everyone is going to score, check their per-possession numbers), but moving your best two defensive pieces in Camby and Najara won't help things. AI might get moved this year again.

Seattle - I don't want to hear it. They never moved, they never adopted that ridiculous moniker, and they never robbed a historic NBA city of their team. My only regret is that I can't pick them last in this division because of...

Minnesota - Good God. I was right about them last year, and I'll be right again this year. ZERO times on my TV this year, God willing. In a related story, Kevin will not be able to make it to the ring ceremony in Boston tonight, but rest assured, his ring is in the mail.

Pacific

Lakers - Well, speaking of GMs on other teams deserving of playoff bonuses, Chris Wallace come on down! If you can convince Lamar into being happy coming off the bench (and you know Phil can), then this scary team just got scarier. By the way, Kobe Bryant is the best player in the world. There. I said it. Don't believe me? Look at how everyone else deferred to him during crunch time in the Gold Medal game this summer. Even Bron-Bron.

Pheonix - Old. Old old old. We buried the 'seven seconds or less' Suns last year, could this be the year we bury them altogether? Motivated Shaq, healthier Amare and Steve Nash bring this crew to the playoffs, but not much further. Oh, and Terry Porter's 'new, defensive minded approach'? I give it a month.

Clippers - I like the size inside with Kamen and Camby, but I don't like Baron Davis on the injured list. They don't play enough D as a team to make the playoffs, but maybe Baron getting hurt early will serve them down the stretch.

Golden State - Who's left? Baron bolted, Monta is suspended for 30 games, and Corey Maggette is their number 1 guy to start the year. I'll let that sink in for a while.

Sacremento - You can bet on NBA games in the Palms now!!! Except for Kings games. Which means you'll have to go elsewhere to bet against Kevin Martin and his team.

Southwest

New Orleans - Chris Paul might be my favorite player in the world right now, and not just because he's amazing in NBA 2K9. They lost some point guard depth with Pargo leaving, but things that keep Chris Paul on the floor aren't a bad thing. They're a good thing.

San Antonio - They are only here because I can't put the Rockets higher than 3rd. No Manu early means the Spurs will be leaning on Duncan a lot sooner than usual, and that adds to his opportunity to get burned out sooner. Plus, I still hate Tony Parker.

Houston - McGrady! Yao! Artest! Now there's three players you can win a lot of games with... too bad they've won a combined 1 playoff series...and that's from when Artest was with the Pacers. Plus, all the health issues between McGrady and Yao, I just don't like them to advance past round 1.

Dallas - Wait, did this division send 4 teams to the dance last year? Look for Mark Cuban to look more and more disheveled as he realizes he gave away a future All Star for a Hall of Famer past his prime, who's style of play is diametrically opposed to Dirk Nowitzki's.

Memphis - O.J. Mayo! Marc Gasol! Mike Conley Jr.! Maybe in a few years fellas, until then, enjoy getting to see most of the U.S. on the company dime.

Western Conference Playoff Seeds

1. Lakers
2. Hornets
3. Utah
4. Spurs
5. Pheonix
6. Houston
7. Portland
8. Clippers

Hardware Picks

ROY - Michael Beasley; runner-up - O.J. Mayo
Defensive Player of the Year - Kevin Garnett; runner-up - Marcus Camby
Coach of the Year - Nate McMilllian; runner-up - Jerry Sloan
MVP - LeBron James; runner-up - Chris Paul

Homecoming + Week 4 & Week 5 Picks

First things first: last week was such a weird sports week, I actually wrote 4 different lead ins to last week's picks. The first one was about USC losing to the Beavers, and the last one was me depressingly mashing keys after Georgia pooped the bed against Alabama. In my zeal to capture EXACTLY what was going on around me, I forgot to list my picks. Whoops. Here they are. Or were. Or whatever.

Broncos (-9) over Kansas City
Browns (+3.5) over Bengals
Texans (+7.5) over Jags
Jets (-1) over Cards
49ers (+6) over Saints
Carolina (-7.5) over Falcons
Titans (-3) over Vikings
Packers (+1.5) over Bucs
Bills (-8) over Rams
Chargers (-7) over Raiders
Redskins (+11) over Cowboys
Eagles (-3) over Bears
Ravens (+5.5) over Steelers

So, last week I went 9-4, putting me at 28-15-1 for the season. Not horrible, by any stretch.

This week, I'm writing amidst homecoming activities at Columbia University in the City of New York. Once upon a time, I asked some adult why everyday wasn't Christmas, and I was given some dismissive answer that adults give little kids they want to go away. But, as I sit here cursing all major and minor deities, I can honestly say I know why every day isn't homecoming. Good. God.

Oh, and as for reflections on the current sports world? A picture is worth 3 words. And those words are, "The Cubs Suck."


Anyway, here be this week's picks. As always, home teams are in bold.

Texans (+3.5) over Indy
Titans(-3) over B'More
Skins (+6) over Eagles
Chargers (-6.5) over Fins
Falcons (+7) over Packers (I know, I know, just bear with me)
Chi-Town (-3.5) over Former Matt Millen employers
Giants (-7.5) over Seahawks
Panthers (-9.5) over Chiefs
Broncos (-3) over Bucs
Niners (+3.5) over Pats
Cowboys (-1,000) over Bengals (Obviously, I'm kidding, the line is only 17. But, wouldn't you at least think about the thousand? BTW, two-team-tease of the week: Cowboys/Chargers. You're welcome)
Bills (+1) over Cards
Jags (-4.5) over Steelers
Vikes (+3.5) over Saints

Last Week: 9-4
Season: 28-15-1

Oh, and GO LIONS!

Damn Kid

Tim Legler

Tim Legler just claimed that the Lakers defense forced Kevin Garnett to become a jump shooter tonight. That the Celtics needed him to do what he has done all series, and all season, and own the paint.

I would contend that Tim Legler is an idiot.

EDIT: I know this guy has no credibility, but after the things I've seen in my 22 (damn near 23) years as an NBA fan, his explanation of what happened a few years back in the Kings/Lakers series makes scary amounts of sense. Read it.

Title Fight...Round 2

Some knee-jerk reactions to Game 1, while I pop caffine pills to try to stay awake until tonight's 9 pm tip off...

- Doc Rivers apparently thinks the best way to stop Kobe Bryant is to keep him out of the lane and make him shoot jumpers. Good idea plagerizing Pop and the Spurs, since he's a MUCH better coach than Rivers, but bad idea because Kobe just merked the Spurs in 5 games.

- The rebounding edge held by the Celts will be negligable because of Kobe's newfound accuracy.

- I think that we've proven that depending on Ray Allen to play like Jesus Shuttlesworth to win playoff games is a bad idea.

- Sam Cassell played a major role in the game one win. If that holds up, I'll eat my hat.

- "No means no" is the new "Beat LA". What has the world come to?

- Someone remind Gasol that this is the NBA Finals and to wake up. Thanks.

- If Garnett comes into the lane to score points, it will be the first time. I mean, honestly, if you're the biggest, most dominant player in a series, why would you settle for 18-footers, and fadeaways, securing only two dunks when you're being guarded alternatly by Pau Gasol (defensive sieve), Lamar Odom (smaller than you), and Ronnie Turiaf (Ronnie Turiaf!)? You wouldn't. And neither should he.

STILL Lakers in 5...

Chris Os-Great

I know there have been a million and a half puff pieces written about Chris Osgood, but I had to say one thing: There are only two positions in team sports where a W or an L is next to an individuals name: pitcher in baseball, and goalie in the NHL. Peyton Manning has never picked up a W and Flip Saunders has never taken an L (no matter how many each deserve of their respective letters), but Chris Osgood earned enough Ws to close out the Pens. Hats off to ya Osgood.

Who Called These Finals?

I called these Finals.

Yes I did.

But after watching these games...it might be Lakers in 5, 4 if they feel frisky.

MAMBA

Sorry San Antonio fans, but there is no way this series goes back to Texas. Kobe "Mamba" Bryant will not allow it. He is going to rip the throat out of the Spurs and feed them to his young.

By young, I mean Sasha, Farmar, and Walton.

Out of the Frying Pan...

Okay, so early reports have the Hawks signing on Rick Sund as new GM. Don't recognize the name? Well, he helped destroy the Sonics. Don't believe me? The following was not taken from a Sonics fan site, but another NBA blog that awarded on a 5 point system for each roster move, talking about worst GMs last year:

[trade: +5, re-sign: +3] 2/03 – Sund took advantage of the Ray Allen/Michael Redd situation in Milwaukee by stealing Ray Ray away, only giving up a washed-up point guard (Gary Payton) and a guy who still can’t shoot (Desmond Mason). However, Allen is a guy who commands max money but doesn’t provide max results, which is why the ’05 Allen re-sign gets a +3.

[+1] 7/03 – He did a fair job landing two serviceable players in the unspectacular Nick Collison (#12) and the wispy Luke Ridnour (#14), but neither guy has developed into an established starter. In that draft, Sund passed on the likes of David West, Boris Diaw, Leandro Barbosa and Josh Howard. He’d trade both Collison and Ridnour for any of those guys in a heartbeat.

[-14] – In the next three drafts, Sund picked three project centers: Robert Swift (#12) in ’04, Johan Petro (#25) in ’05 and Saer Sene (#10) in ’06. In drafting these guys, he passed on Al Jefferson, Josh Smith, Delonte West, Tony Allen, Kevin Martin, David Lee and Marcus Williams. Swift is injured while Petro and Sene are combining for a dreadful 7.5 points and 5.4 rebounds this season. What a brutal draft run.

[trade: +3, re-sign: +1] 2/06 – Turning short timer Vladimir Radmanovic into Chris Wilcox was a nice move, though he hasn’t developed into a 15/10 guy like the Sonics hoped. The team may eventually regret re-signing him last summer.

[+1] 2/06 – Sund acquired Earl Watson for Reggie Evans, trading toughness in the frontcourt for toughness in the backcourt. I’m convinced that Watson can anchor a bench, but he’s not yet a starter.

[-5] 2/07 – Sund’s biggest mistake was not to trade Rashard Lewis before the deadline after deciding not to sign him to an extension before the season. Now it looks like Lewis will opt out this summer, which means the Sonics may get nothing in return for their stud swingman.

Synopsis? He can't draft, but seems to do decent in free agency. If it wasn't bad enough that the links next to the ESPN.com article are stories about the Hawks losing out on their 1st two choices, it looks like we got Billy Knight 2.0. But hey, I'm not complaining, at least Billy Knight is gone. Sund '08! YES WE CAN!!!