FINALS!!!

So, this NBA Finals is causing a bit of internal strife. In my head, I mean. I hate Kobe (excuse me, the MAMBA), but this three-point fest the Magic have been riding has to stop. Right? I enlisted one of my Laker fan friends Rake Colson to discuss the matter:

DP: So I started this job Monday, and have been training so far. But, while I have been filing my head with the ins and outs of the mortgage industry, I can’t help but wonder what life is like for you? I mean, you admit your superstar is a sociopath, your coach was almost matched by George Karl, your 2^nd banana is a European who slanted his eyes in the Spain Basketball team picture, and your third banana is a candy nut straight out of Willy Wonka.

Not to mention, that aside from your MVPuppet, your entire backcourt is a section 8, to the point that Shannon Brown has become a vital cog to your team.

RC: Do I know Kobe's a sociopath, a spoiled brat, an egomaniac? Yes, of course - I have second hand evidence. Friend of my dad's works for AEG, which owns Staples, and Mamba is universally reviled, from the janitors to Phil Anschuetz (the CEO). If he weren't everyone's meal ticket, he would probably have been the victim of a car bomb by now. Also of note: with the exception of Malone and Payton (who had to be convinced by Shaq), no premier free agent has ever taken less money to play with Kobe. With the exception of Malone and Carmelo, no NBA player has ever admitted to being friends with Kobe, and he even lost Karl with the whole "little white girls" thing. From all reports, he doesn't have an entourage, doesn't have friends, and is single-mindedly focused on basketball and cementing his legacy as a top 5 all-time guard. Is that a good thing for the Lakers and their fans? Yeah, probably. But with a title loss, this house of cards can come crumbling down real quick. It won't be like the painful summer of 2004, but it won't be far from it.

Phil was not "almost matched" by George Karl. The only person George Karl almost matched was Chris Dougherty in the "red faced" department. That series was never about anyone outcoaching anyone else, and if anything, Karl gave away two games with his inbound play brilliance. Phil has been slipping for some time, yes, but he was never a great game coach - his greatest skill is getting everyone on the same page. With the Bulls, that meant keeping MJ from murdering everyone else; with the 2000-2004 Lakers, it meant keeping Shaq and Kobe from murdering one another; with the 2006-2009 Lakers, it means keeping everyone from murdering Kobe AND keeping Kobe from murdering Bynum.

RE: Spanish national team picture -- what's the issue? You have to love Pau - he looks completely unathletic, he runs like a less-gay Bruno, and he just so happens to be one of the most versatile big men in the league. Oh, and he and Ariza are the Lakers MVPs -- in that, if they're on, we win. When they're not, we don't. It's as simple as that.

Lamar, for some reason, doesn't drive me nuts. In fact, I love his consistent inconsistency. I just hope it doesn't show up over the next few weeks.

Shannon Brown can play! I don't know where that came from, but he's a great fit for this team. And considering we have to contend with Skip-to-my-Lou and 45% of a getting-up-to-speed Jameer Nelson, I'm not too worried about the PG matchup.

I think you know what matchup I am worried about, though. The big question to me is: will DJ Mbenga see time in this series? If he does, game over.

There's a scenario in the back of my head where Dwight goes insane and throws up a 34-16 for the series, SVG comes up with some amazing defensive scheme and shuts us down, they hit every 3 like they've been doing, and we get embarrassed along the lines of 2004. That scenario is analogous to my bonus, in that we'll find out about it in the next few weeks, and that I try not to think about it too much because it's so painful and soul-crushing and denies everything I/the Lakers have worked so hard for.

So yes, I'm keeping my expectations low.

DP: Wait, wait, wait. I watched LeBron and the MAMBA grinning it up on national television during that sit-down interview. I SAW IT! They were palling around like the Schnieder and Columba of their time. You trying to tell me that while LBJ was making fun of Kobe with the ‘high-shorts’ joke, and basically mocking him openly, the MAMABA was only smiling for the cameras? He was actually sizing up The King, deciding the best way to incapacitate him with his butter knife? What?

Good thing he’s focused on cementing his legacy as a top five guard…since he isn’t there yet, and won’t get there based on his only two Finals appearances we have where he was the best player (04, Detroit, 08, Boston). Right now, he’s a top-five second banana in NBA history, since there are 5 better guards off the top of my head…Jordan, Magic, Oscar, Logo, Isaiah. And they all won rings as the man…which he HAS to do, unless he wants to go down in the ‘Pippen, Drexler, D. Robinson, and other players who only won titles as the OTHER GUY on their team’ group.

If y’all lose…I don’t even know. Sure, the answer SEEMS to be move everyone (MAMBA included), but, as has been pointed out over and over and over again, this is a nearly broke league; who takes on the MAMBA’s deal? And for what? You’ve got him for at least another 82. Get comfortable. Because I don’t know if the Magic can’t win this thing.

SVG (he looks like he needs initials) hasn’t REALLY been tested coaching wise so far (ol’ what’s-his-face in Philly, Doc, and M.Brown), but he has shown a great ability to adjust on the fly within the series. Phil may be a peacemaker, but against SVG (does this make him cooler?) the Lake-Show need him to be a basketball coach. He’s aged more poorly than Coolio’s entire catalog. He’s aged more poorly than Ted Pitt. And his BASKETBALL COACHING, you know, what he’s paid to do, has been slow to adjust to things like No-more-Yao. You know, like Lamar adjusts constantly to sometimes playing/sometimes not during series. And don’t get me started on Wonka’s Swayze in the Finals last year.

Pau is a racist. There. I said it.

Not worried about the backcourt matchup? NOT WORRIED? You sound like the Indians being ‘not worried’ about the disease laden blankets the palefaces brought with them. Do you remember Aaron Brooks (AARON BROOKS?!?!) eviscerating your backcourt a week ago? Have you not seen what penetrating point guards do to the carbon cut-outs you stick back there? It would be funny if it wasn’t so damn sad. Chauncy Billups is a cerebral game manager, and y’all decimated him; no one will ever confuse Skip and Anthony Johnson for the Artist Formally Known As Mr. Big Shot.

Shannon Brown. Good one.

DJ Mbenga. Better one. Though, Chris Mihm got some burn last year, so maybe Phil is aging worse than Larry Legend.

The more I think about how weird these playoffs have been (the Magic are shooting like 47% from three!), the more and more your nightmare seems likely. Is it impossible for the Magic to split the first two in LA? Is it impossible for them to take 2 of 3 in O-Town, culminating with a rout in the last game in Orlando, the MAMBA sharpening his knives as he quits on the floor (see also, last year and 2007 against the Suns)? Can you really count on this crew to close out the final two games in Staples. Me neither.

Dear god, am I about to take the Magic in 6? YES WE CAN. SI SE PUEDE!

***

We'll see what takes place in this little argument today. This could just be part 1.

Damn Kid

Game Over

Well, who can really say they saw that coming? By the end of the first half, I was sending taunting text messages to my Bostonian friends, and congratulatory ones to my friends who either live in LALA Land, or bleed the purple and gold. 24 minutes later, I was being called an idiot by one camp and a jinx by the other. Game 4 unfolded in a way that anyone watching this series would not believe. Not only was Lamar Odom asserting himself, not only did the Celtics look flat and lifeless, not only did Kobe seem to be channeling the toughest part of MJ’s game, not only did Doc Rivers seem ready to finally melt down, not only…sorry, I just got dizzy trying to remember the first half, it feels like it was so long ago.

One of the prevailing subplots of the first three games of this series was the fact that Lamar Odom appeared to be having a panic attack every time he took the floor. There are times where a player can get caught up in a big moment, and there are times when a player enters a full on coma upon realizing the size of the moment. Lamar Odom was a snapshot of the latter situation. It got so bad that Phil Jackson called him in the Game 2 press conference (one of the Zen Master’s favorite tactics) and Lamar responded with a big egg in Game 3. Pretty much anyone commentating on the series agreed that they would have to depend on someone else stepping up to be the third player for the Lakers, but that first half, the first 12 minutes in particular, seemed to quiet the doubters…

Anyone watching the Celtics all playoffs can easily agree that they have not looked their best at all times. Letting Atlanta push them to seven, letting Cleveland push them to seven, some poorly executed games against the Pistons, there have been some readily apparent chinks in the armor of the 66 win Celtics. But, throughout all the stumbles (some would say growing pains), and line up juggling by their ‘coach’ (more on him later), this was a team that appeared to be trying their best, and had everyone engaged and ready to play. This was not the case in the fist half of Game 4…the Celtics didn’t just look unengaged, they looked bored…

Too many comparisons had been made between the Mamba and His Airness. All throughout his career, Kobe’s ability has garnered comparisons, fair or unfair, to the G.O.A.T., but his on the court ability and dedication seemed to allow them. This season (after attempting to hold the franchise hostage) and these playoffs showed that Kobe was on his way to mastering Jordan’s method of getting his teammates comfortable by letting them contribute early, that way, everyone is scoring, everyone is more invested in the game, and feels more responsible for the win. Then, late in the game, or whenever it was needed, Jordan would take over, but be flanked by a truly inspired and motivated supporting cast. It really looked like Kobe had mastered the last, hardest part of MJ23’s game…

It had to happen. The other shoe just had to drop. After a more than adequate performance in the regular season, it appeared that the stage had finally gotten to Doc. All playoffs, he had made questionable decisions from altering his rotation (alienating bench players who had been so pivitol too the 66 wins ) to straight up bad personnel decisions (lack of Leon Powe in Game 3/Sam Cassell???). It looked like the pressure of the first three rounds, and roughly 115 games thus far finally got to him in the first half of Game 4,as he picked up an early tech (correctly) arguing a non-call on Mamba. Sure, he had looked okay against Mike Woodson, Mike James, and Flip Saunders (not exactly a coaching ‘Murderers Row’), but going head to head with the Zen Master seemed to finally have gotten to him…

Then the second half happened.

Lamar vanished, the Celtics woke up, Kobe erased any MJ comparisons EVER, and Doc stepped up higher than I even thought possible.

Odom poured in a measly four points after the break, and found himself back on the bench – and presumably, Phil’s doghouse – while the Celts were making their historical run in the third and fourth quarters. Maybe someone reminded him this was the finals, and he was supposed to be acting like a stroke patient, who knows.

The Celtics came alive. They were running all over the place, grabbing rebounds, blocking shots, beating people off the dribble. Jesus Shuttlesworth (who is easily the series MVP thus far) and Paul Pierce took the lead as far as their intensity, and the rest of the squad followed in kind. Even little-used reserve Tony Allen kept the energy level high when he got the call up off of the bench.

Kobe blew it. Like I’ve said before, the only players in professional team sports who pick up Ws and Ls are pitchers and hockey goalies, but Kobe should be handed a big, scarlet L after that performance. Not only did he blow the game by not recognizing how much his team needed him, and by taking over accordingly, he blew any shots he had at being the true heir to the throne. It goes without seeing that Michael Jordan never blew a 24 point lead in the Finals (mostly because Game 4 was the first time this has ever happened), but he would never have allowed it to start to happen. I thought, honestly, if the Lake Show can hold home court, then you get bloodthirsty Kobe in Boston, and he’d close them out the first chance he got, like he did to the Spurs. Whoops.

I cannot believe I’m writing this. Doc Rivers outcoached Phil Jackson. It looks wrong, just sitting there staring back at me. But, it’s true. Doc Rivers went small, surrounding KG with shooters, forcing the Lakers to rotate quickly to even keep up with the ball movement. And they couldn’t do it. Did Phil go to his bench, find a better combination to slow or stop Boston’s shooters? No. He entered Zen mode, and watched a truly historic collapse happen IN Staples.

Now, the series can end Sunday in LALA Land…and it makes no sense at all.

"I Can't Believe That Just F*****g Happened"

Stealing a line from one of my favorite movies, incidentally placed in Boston, but perfectly capturing my emotions about last night. Lakers fans, turn back now, do NOT watch this video.

Tim Legler

Tim Legler just claimed that the Lakers defense forced Kevin Garnett to become a jump shooter tonight. That the Celtics needed him to do what he has done all series, and all season, and own the paint.

I would contend that Tim Legler is an idiot.

EDIT: I know this guy has no credibility, but after the things I've seen in my 22 (damn near 23) years as an NBA fan, his explanation of what happened a few years back in the Kings/Lakers series makes scary amounts of sense. Read it.

Title Fight...Round 2

Some knee-jerk reactions to Game 1, while I pop caffine pills to try to stay awake until tonight's 9 pm tip off...

- Doc Rivers apparently thinks the best way to stop Kobe Bryant is to keep him out of the lane and make him shoot jumpers. Good idea plagerizing Pop and the Spurs, since he's a MUCH better coach than Rivers, but bad idea because Kobe just merked the Spurs in 5 games.

- The rebounding edge held by the Celts will be negligable because of Kobe's newfound accuracy.

- I think that we've proven that depending on Ray Allen to play like Jesus Shuttlesworth to win playoff games is a bad idea.

- Sam Cassell played a major role in the game one win. If that holds up, I'll eat my hat.

- "No means no" is the new "Beat LA". What has the world come to?

- Someone remind Gasol that this is the NBA Finals and to wake up. Thanks.

- If Garnett comes into the lane to score points, it will be the first time. I mean, honestly, if you're the biggest, most dominant player in a series, why would you settle for 18-footers, and fadeaways, securing only two dunks when you're being guarded alternatly by Pau Gasol (defensive sieve), Lamar Odom (smaller than you), and Ronnie Turiaf (Ronnie Turiaf!)? You wouldn't. And neither should he.

STILL Lakers in 5...

NBA Playoffs Grand Finale

In case you missed my earlier picks, click here for round 1, and here for round 2.


Well, this weekend reaffirmed my love of the second season. We had 2 upsets, 1 actual (Sixers) and 1 perceived (Hornets), 1 instant classic (Suns/Spurs), and a host of potential moving forward. On to the title bouts:

Boston (1) vs. Detroit (2)
On paper, the Stones actually present an interesting matchup for the Boston Three Party. Billups will look to muscle young Rajon around, while Ray Allen will be struggling to keep up with a much more mobile Rip Hamilton. Pierce has been best defended all year by Mr. Prince, and the center match-up will be a push. The real focus of this series, the fight within the fight will be Rasheed Wallace vs. Kevin Garnett. Both present the type of inside-outside game that makes them so valuable to their team. Both are the emotional cores and leaders of their respective squads. This will all come down to who can enforce their own considerable will into inspiring their troops and willing their team to the Finals. Since this year, Garnett has been focus personified, and the team has gone as he has led.
Boston in 6.

Lakers (1) vs Phoenix (6)
As I already said, this is the marquee matchup the NBA is salivating over. The storylines that would normally exist in a rivalry series are multiplied by the addition to Shaq to the Suns. After approximately three days of harping on this being a legacy defining series for pretty much everyone involved, we'd be treated to good basketball. And alot of it. The Gasol-O'Neal showdown alone would be worth the price of admission, as would Kobe making a run at the team that has taken him out of the playoffs repeatedly in recent memory. In the end, I think KB24 shows out to his full potential and carries this thing. Remember, I may not have picked him as MVP, but Mamba is still the best player in the Association. It's true this year, just like it was true last year, and the year before that. And the Black Mamba can strike with 99% accuracy at maximum speed, in rapid succession.
Lakers in 7.

Boston (1) vs. Lakers (1)
What a fitting end to the best NBA season in recent memory, than to have it's two most storied franchises battle it out for the honor of hoisting the Larry O'Brien Trophy. While the Lakers have given us an up and down season, and the Celtics were marked for greatness all year, both teams proved their mettle by winning their respective conferences and surviving the playoffs until this point. This series will be remembered for one thing: Kobe Bryant, and the way he imposed his will on every game. Even the Celtic victories will be colored by the best player in the NBA playing the best basketball of his career. The series ends in six, because I can't see the Celtics losing at home in a Game 7. Sorry Boston hopeful. Maybe next year.
Lakers in 6.

Finals MVP: Kobe Bryant

I love this game.

Go Ahead and Crown Them!

Before I get to my NBA preview, NFL picks, and whatever else I want to do, I felt the need to post something I wrote about the Spurs during last year's finals in contrast to "King" James. I've been desperatly trying to find a reason to pick against them this year, but stumbling across this reminds me why they won last year. And why they are going to win again this year...

I haven’t written a single word about these ‘Finals’ since everyone went ahead and re-crowned Mr. James last week. In watching the final four games of the Leastern Conference Finals, I felt myself tempted to fall into the teeming masses, to sip the champagne and gold Kool-Aid the LeBrons were serving, wondering if Kal-El would stick as a nickname. Then, I remembered who they were to be playing in a little under a week’s time…and promptly dropped my cup. I sat back and watched the talking heads debate, and argue what chance this poor team actually had against the Spurs, the cream of the playoffs this year. I was wrong about the Pistons being the better team, as they fell apart at the seams, and sat back and watched while LeBron ascended into the sphere of NBA transcendent talent. I was wrong about Mr. James’ ability to dominate not only a game, but also a series. 25 straight points to end game 4? 29 of the last 30 of his team’s points? Really? No hard fouls? Couldn’t you at least get in his way? I was right, however, about the weakness of the Least, and the talent gap between the two conferences. I was right about LeBron still needing to understand when and where to take over a game (Games 1 and 2 of the Finals) and when to let the others carry the load (Game 6 of the Conference Finals). But most easily, I was right about the San Antonio Spurs. No matter who they’re playing, they remain unfazed, undeniable, and, most importantly, themselves. The Spurs just keep being the Spurs.

2-0 doesn’t begin to describe how one-sided this series has been thus far. LeBron has proven that the Conference Finals cannot truly define a player, something most of us knew, but had forgotten. The Finals are where legends are born, not the Semi-Finals. We are all again Witnesses, but not to the arrival of the boy that would be King, but more for the coronation of the dynasty that is the Spurs. Since Tim Duncan’s arrival, this franchise has been a consistent presence deep into the playoffs, year after year. Who else can you say that about in recent memory? Exactly. And the scariest part is, in the first two games, he hasn’t been his team’s most outstanding player. Sure, he continuously posts spectacularly solid stat lines, (last night: 23 pts, 9 rebs, 8 asts), but the single most impressive player through the first two games has been the little Frenchman that could, Tony Longoria. While I applaud the gratuitous shots of his future housewife, I’ve got to celebrate his on-court performance even more. At one point last night, he caught a pass, with a wide open top of the key jumper available to him. Instead of taking the easy shot, he chose to drive the traffic-filled lane, and drop in a running floater, which danced around the rim, eventually falling. Smart basketball play? Hell no. But, given the hot hand he’s shown thus far, who can really blame him?

Now, all you Cleveland fans, I want you to repeat after me, slowly. Ready?

The – Spurs – are – not – the – Pistons.

Let that sink in. Seriously, get a glass of water, take a deep breath, say a little prayer. Just let it get all the way to your core, so that any visions of the run ya’ll put up against Detroit can be quietly put to bed before Robert Horry and co. force you back to Earth. Flip Saunders is not on the opposing bench, Rasheed Wallace is not patrolling the lane, and Chauncy Billups is not running point. You’re facing down an all-world coach in Greg Popovich, a legitimate candidate for Greatest Of All Time (GOAT) at his position in Tim Duncan, and a point guard who is lightning out of a bottle, Tony Parker. Well, what should Cleveland fans do now? Exactly what your team appears to be doing so far; be happy to be there. Bottle your hopes of a win, or even an overly competitive series, and enjoy the ride. Be glad you’re in the Finals, and hope that no one gets hurt too badly. Shake off the memories of Miami’s miracle 3 in a row at home from last year, Tim Duncan is most certainly not Dirk Nowitzki, and Big Z is no Shaq. Denny Green told us months ago that, “If you want to crown ‘em, crown ‘em.” He meant the Bears, but I’m crowning the Spurs, and maybe doing something I never thought I would: I’m not making any predictions (because we’ve all seen how that turns out), but if things continue as they are, we might be seeing our first French Finals MVP.

I will now Phil Leotardo myself under a car.

LeBron Rules

*I have been enthralled watching the USA Team dismantle all opposition in the Tournament of the Americas, and it made me think of what I had written during the Finals about the Boy King. Watching him play now, it looks like he listened*

The Finals are over. 11 times in NBA history, a team has gone up 3-0 in the NBA Finals, with 7 teams completing the sweep, 3 winning in five, and 1 team being taken to 6. No team down 0-3 has ever even seen Game 7 in the Finals, and in the history of the playoffs, no team has ever come back from such a deficit. That said, maybe these new rules could stop a sweep, or at least point Mr. James in the right direction in the future.

Thou shall get going early
We all celebrated his play in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals, taking the team, and the city, on his back and carrying them to victory. Dropping 29 of the LeBrons’ final 30 points is amazing, to say the least, but there is a hidden lesson in these numbers. Scoring that many of any teams final points tells the careful observer that at some point in the fourth quarter, when said team had 79 points, James had only scored 19 of them. That’s less than a fourth. In a rubber-match game that would essentially decide who was going to the Finals. Unacceptable. As the Finals have undoubtedly shown us, it is never too early for LeBron to take over a game, there’s no need to wait. Though his clutch stats on 82games.com are through the roof.

Thou shall enter the lane
Six feet, eight inches tall. 250 pounds. Bigger, faster, stronger than anyone who is going to try to stop him. What the hell is it with all the ill-advised 22 foot jumpers? He should be attacking the rim, over, and over again, forcing the other team to foul him, and send him to the charity stripe. I’ve never been physically ill watching a team that wasn’t directly tied to me until now. Based on his attributes alone, he should be filling the lane over and over and over again. Who’s really gonna stop him?

Thou shalt ignore the line beyond the lane
STOP. SHOOTING. THREE. POINTERS. An amazing stat from last night was that the Spurs and Cavs each shot 19 three pointers, and while the Cavs only buried 3, San Antonio knocked down 10. That’s a 21-point difference. I know, he’s more confident since his 48 point performance in Game 5 against Detroit, but that was a while ago. He’s a career 32% 3-point shooter, hitting only 15 % this series. Take a hint, LeBron. He was culpable, going 0-5 from 3-land, and honestly, he’s going to give me a heart attack.

Thou shalt not complain
You were fouled. During your three-point attempt to end Game 3, and try to force overtime, “Hollywood” Bruce Bowen fouled you intentionally. It should have been called a continuation foul, and you should have been awarded three free throws, and given that you were 6/7 so far through the night, you probably would have made them, and you should have had a shot against the Spurs in overtime. Happy? It was a bad call to end a very good game, but there was no reason to stay on the court and argue the matter. When you were fouled at the end of Game 2, you and the rest of the team held the company line of, “We’re a team that doesn’t make excuses.” That was awesome, speaking to his strength, and also that of the franchise. Where was that last night?

Thou aren’t a global icon…yet
Since the day he got into the Association, he has stated that he wanted to be more than just a basketball player, that he wanted to be a ‘global icon’. Not. Quite. Yet. To achieve that end, he will have to unseat the current basketball icon, Michael Jordan. In some aspects, he has a leg up on MJ; the Bulls only posted a .500 record in his fourth season, and reached the Conference Finals in his fifth. But maybe it is the quickness with which LBJ ascended that keeps him from threatening the throne. Maybe the time it took Jordan to grow is where he learned when to take a game into his hands, when to utilize his amazing athleticism in the lane, when to fully develop a mid-range and outside game, how to demand respect from officials. Maybe these lessons are what taught Jordan how to take over a game through sheer force of will, and allowed him to spearhead a dynasty that captured the imaginations of the world for 8 years. Can LeBron do that too? We’ll see.