The BCS Is The Best Thing To Happen To College Football. Ever.

To mark my return (or whatever) to this webspace, I'll be doing what bloggers do best: complain about things that bug them to whoever will listen. I've already tackled Brett Favre's return to the NFL, and my disgust over how it is viewed by many, and now, I take a look at the BCS.

National consensus is that the BCS is dumb, it gives us an unworthy champion, and that a playoff is the only logical way to decide a champion. Hell, even Congress has been throwing in their two cents. The argument against a playoff usually boils down to a tradition based argument, that the bowl system is too ingrained in the culture to be challenged or changed.

Both positions are, to be put lightly, bullshit.

The BCS is the natural evolution of the long-held bowl system, a marriage of human opinions (some of which suck badly) and computers (which do pretty good, despite my inherent distrust) (seriously, watch that video, and try to sleep tonight. Slap some basic targeting systems and a minigun on that thing, and good luck kids. Wait, where was I?). What more can you really ask for out of a system? It takes what worked in the past (polling) and utilizes available technology (moreso than baseball) to give the best match up. The best evidence?

Of the 12 games that have crowned a national champ in the BCS era, 6 have involved SEC teams.

Personal bias aside, 5 of those SEC teams won the game (and Alabama is favored by 4.5), and I think the results speak for themselves. People point to years like this, and say this is definitive need for a playoff. Why? How would you decide who gets in and who gets Boise Stated? You're left in the same place, but at the cost of other bowls.

But Daniel, the other bowls don't matter anyway!

Tell that to the UConn team that overcame the heartbreaking death of a teammate to get to play on January 2nd or to Joey Harrington who parlayed one good bowl game into a career that went way too long. These bowls matter to most teams, as the opportunity to be nationally televised is a recruiting boost, allowing a program to be seen by potential recruits all over the country. Sure, there is the occasional team that couldn't care about the game, and mails it in (see Alabama, 2009 Sugar Bowl), but for the majority of teams, these games are paid advertisements, and a good performance matters. Plus, for certain other players who just won't go away, this is a great chance to make an impression on NFL front office people who will decide your fate come Draft Day.

But you know what the best thing about the BCS and the bowl system is? Better than the opportunity to end your season with a win? Better than showing the country (or other countries) your school exists? Better than getting a large contract? It creates more discourse, more arguments, and more passion than anything else in sports. The controversy alone has propelled NCAA Football into that rarefied air, usually reserved for the Shield and nothing else. Even the National Football League (what up Gruden!) has to marvel at college football's ability to capture hearts and minds year round (and if you think the NFL doesn't benefit, you're NUTS). I was debating this point with someone this past summer, and they argued what the whole benefit of the BCS is to the fan, what makes it attractive to those of us who want a definitive answer, what does it offer us?

We were arguing about college football at a wedding in June. What more do you want?

I'm returning to the blog by discussing the weird happenings over the 3 months I've been away. NFL and NCAA Football are done, NBA, you're next.

A Quick Bite

Oh, hi come one in. I didn't see you there. Don't mind me, I'm just finishing up this light snack prepared for me by my new friend, Eli Manning. Could you pass the salt?

I understand he got the recipe online somewhere. I told him I understood; not exactly like there are years of family recipes he can thumb through or anything.

I am sitting here on Wednesday still in shock over the outcome of the Giants-Packers game. It's not that hard to accept that Favre helped architect a Green Bay meltdown; this has been his modus operandi for the past few years. No, what is most shocking is that Tynes was able to miss those two VERY makable field goals in regulation, steel himself, and hit that 47 yarder to win the game. Point blank: I was very wrong about Eli Manning. He carried himself and his team to a win in wind chill -25 degree weather, and he didn't just manage the game; he was not Trent Dilfer '07, he was something totally different. He did everything his team needed to win, and still had to run around for a full 23 seconds after the winning field goal, before finding someone to hug (the punter).

Packers fans, I have nothing to offer. I cannot relate to this, because the only similar event I can remember was when the Birds punished the offensive record-breaking Vikings at home to go to the Super Bowl. Don't forget that your hero Favre is not the most culpable party in this loss. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: Mike McCarthy.

Mike, haven't you known in the past that Bret Favre is a gunslinger who thinks his arm can cure cancer? Mike, did you not publicly request that Favre dial back this aspect of himself early in the year? Mike, was the most successful part of your offensive efforts in recent weeks the resurgance in the running game, a running game you turned to less than 15 times on Sunday? Mike, why are we not doubling Plaxico Burress after he tore apart Al Harris in the first half?

Lots of questions.

I'm not going to start Super Bowl Hype; I'll leave that up to the talking heads on ESPN 1-27. Besides, we've got more than 2 weeks until the game, so why start now?

Actually, we've got exactly THIS LONG.

NFC Title Game Preview

Packers (-7.5) over Giants

Seriously, congratulations are in order here. Who would have thought that Eli would be the Manning brother to play his way into a title game this year? He deserves all the accolades and love being dumped on him this week. It is so good for his psyche (described by a team official as 'skittish' earlier this year) to be playing so well and to be reminded of it constantly. Oh, who am I kidding? Eli Manning is Trent Dilfer '07.

Everyone wants to point at his improved play at quarterback the last two weeks: this has been because he hasn't been asked to do anything. You're talking about a quarterback who hasn't thrown 200 yards in either playoff game, and led an offense to only 57 total yards in the second half of the Cowboys meltdown...I mean, the Giants win. This team is winning because of it's ability to get pressure on the passer, to dominate in the running game, and that Eli doesn't screw it all up. This weekend, at the Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field, all three wheels are coming off.

The Green Bay offensive line has given up the fewest sacks in the NFL this year, because they are big, physical, and impossible to intimidate. The running game will be kept bottled up, since the Packers defense has allowed only 177 rushing yards in their last 3 games, including a break out 102-yard day by Chicago's Adrian Peterson in week 16. Plus, this is a team that builds on it's lead, so when Eli and co. go down early in the cold weather he hates so much, Favre will pile on the points. This game won't even be close.

Packers 35, Giants 14

NCAA Thanksgiving, BCS nonsense, plus PICKS!!!

Big post today, been working on something on the side that will be a big joy to the NBA heads out there. Pretty much me and Olson, but it will still be a fun read. RIP Sean Taylor.

God I love Thanksgiving. Great food, some family time, the Falcons looked like a real football team for a quarter. All and all, not a bad four days. I was, however, discouraged by listening to the talking heads spew on and on about how the SEC is down, and teams like Kansas and Missouri have risen to the top of the college football world. Amused by this assertion, I celebrated Georgia’s win and Kentucky’s loss (I’ll explain that later) and I sat back and watched the Big 12 North’s best slug it out. The end result?

I’m still waiting for the first hit.

Somewhere, the competitiveness of this game proved to someone that the SEC is overrated, that there are other elite conferences besides it and that whoever won this game is better than whatever comes out of the SEC. This is not that place, and I am not that person. All day, there were no hits that made you wince, no running backs going down the midline of safeties (McFadden, Tebow, Hester), there was no dominant defensive presence (Dorsey, Joiner, Johnson), there were no super-athletic playmakers (Harvin, Doucet, Bailey), and only pale imitations of strong armed game altering quarterbacks (Tebow AGAIN, Woodson, Stafford). People are pointing to the triple overtime loss to a team that lost the first three SEC games as to a reason why LSU is no longer the best team in the nation. How about mentioning the fact that they play in the most physical place in football and haven't been full strength in months? How about mentioning the fact that the only conferences with any depth this year (and I cannot believe I’m typing this) are the SEC and the Pac-10? No, these things don’t matter. At least we might get UGA vs. USC in the Rose Bowl. Or as I call it, Mr. Olson, a perfect storm. I just can’t wait to watch the tremendously talented Sooners destroy this upstart Tigers team for the second time this year.

Oh, and as for why I didn’t want Georgia to play in the SEC title game? Well, they’re going to get a BCS at-large bid as it is, and if they win that, they are a mortal lock to be a top 5 team preseason next year, and no matter how much they shouldn’t, preseason rankings matter. Don’t think this is really the best thing for the Dawgs? Call me Saturday, after they medivac Tenessee out of the Georgia Dome after running into the machine that is an angry, super-talented LSU squad.

On to the picks, home teams in bold.

Green Bay (+7) over Dallas
Houston (+4) over Titans
J’Ville (+7) over Indy
KC (+5.5) over SD
Atl (pick) over STL
Snitches(+1) over Miami
Min (-3.5) over Det
Philly (-3) over Seattle
Wash (-5.5) over Buffalo
San Fran (+3) over Carolina
Cleveland (pick) over Arizona
Denver (-3.5) over Oakland
Giants (-2) over Chicago
Tampa (+3) over Nawlins
Pitt (-7) over Cincy
Terminators (-20) over Ravens

Turkey Quick Picks

Today, Tom Brady announced that the Patriots are out to kill poeple, beat them into submission. In other news, the sky is still blue, and gravity still plays a pivitol role in everyday life. Everyone reading this, travel safe, and have a great, fun Thanksgiving.

Unless you're Canadian. In which case, your Thanksgiving was a month or so ago. And no one cares.

Home teams in bold.

Packers (-3) over Lions

Do you believe in magic? Bret Favre does, and after Thursday, the Lions will. This game could be close, but the Detroit secondary has been picked on by quarterbacks who don't have the dark magics on their side.

Falcons (+12) over Indy

Blow out...if everyone on the Colts sideline was healthy. Unfortunatly, Marvin most likely won't play, Clark isn't 100%, and Freeney is done for the year. Hopefully, the Leftwich experiment is over.

The Boys (-14) over New Jersey Snitches

The Jets aren't gonna sneak up on anyone after unseating the Steelers last week, and as long as Dallas can keep from looking ahead to the match-up with the Packers in a week, they should roll. So, the bottom line is, there is one watchable game and two snoozers on Turkey day. After a meal of turkey, dressing, yams, my mom's macaroni and cheese, and sweet potato pie, sounds about right.

Week 11 Picks

Well, I was wrong about a lot of things, which comes as no surprise to anyone that knows me. I was wrong that the Saints weren’t going to turn on me last week. I was wrong that the porous run defense of the Broncos would lead to a win in Kansas City. I was wrong that the Browns aren’t that good yet. I was wrong that Arizona is dead in the water. I was right that the Monday Night Game was terrible, and I was right to get NBA season pass so I could watch Denver vs. Cleveland. Home teams still in bold.

Minnesota (-5) over Oakland

No Adrian Peterson, no Josh McCown, no problem in this game. In the Metrodome, Dante will be inspired to show his improvement to the team that gave up on him. Too bad he has nothing around him to help show anything. That’s right: Tavaris Jackson over Dante Culpepper.

Miami (+10) over Philly

Still not sure about the McNabb resurgence, but I do know that Miami tried to play hard last week. Their defense is old, and the Phins always play badly in cold weather, but they gotta cover. Ricky Williams is back!

San Diego (+2.5) over Jacksonville

David Garrard is coming back…and it still won’t matter. San Diego is (sadly) in the driver’s seat of a bad division, and it isn’t because of all the offensive weapons: the emergence of the defense has been startling. Whenever the next package comes in for Merriman (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), the front seven might keep up with the awakened secondary.

New Browns (-3) over Really Old Browns

Picking on old people is never nice, but when they bring it on themselves so often by running off at the mouth, sometimes you’ve got to pick up their walker, kick out a hip, and bludgeon the elderly into a coma. This is one of those times. Quick question: Ozzie Newsome has been regarded as the top exec in the game, but he let this defense get old SO FAST, without bringing in any pieces to replace them.

Nawlins (-1) over Houston

The wheels are off the Saints again, but I think they’ve got enough to beat the Texans. What? You really want more insight into the Saints and the Texans? Too bad.

Atlanta (+3) over Tampa

Two straight wins, two straight covers. Root, root, root for the home team…What a deluge of awful games this week.

Arizona (+3) over Cincy

Just another terrible game. I still can’t believe how thoroughly the Cardinals blasted the Lions last week, but this Cincy team had to settle for a record 7 field goals against the OLD Baltimore defense. I think this D is better than the Ravens.

NYG (+3) over Detroit

Two 6-2 teams that are going to the playoffs. But, one of these teams are good, one is not so good. Here’s a hint: the better team is favored.

Green Bay (-9.5) over Carolina

This makes no sense what so ever. Wasn’t it two years ago we were claiming that Favre was done, that the Aaron Rogers era needed to start in cheese land? And now I'm scared to pick against them? What the hell has happened? Ugh.

Kansas City (+14.5) over Indy

Tony Dungy will not lose 3 in a row. Even if Freeney is out for the season. Even if Clark isn’t playing. Even if Harrison isn’t playing. Uh oh. At least they’re in the dome?

Pittsburgh (-9.5) over New Jersey Snitches

The football gods hate snitches.

St. Louis (-3) over San Fran

The Niners are terrible, worse than I ever thought possible. St. Louis finally won a game, and might have remembered how to win. We’ll see. That Niners game was the worst thing I have ever seen in NFL football.

Seattle (-6) over Chicago

See my second bullet point from this week’s jumpers.

Washington (+10.5) over Dallas

Dallas is the class of the NFC, except for the magical Packers from Green Bay. Washington is struggling to stay relevant in the playoff picture, and if they lost and Philly wins, we could see a late McNabb push to the playoffs. Just kidding, but this defense is good enough to keep it close.

Terminators (-16) over Buffalo

Wait a minute, no Lynch? J.P. Losman? Buffalo. Terminated.

Tennessee (+2) over Denver

Remember when Denver had a great home field advantage? I mean, before this season started? What a great defense in Tennessee, routinely crushing people will continue...despite Vince Young.

Week 10 Picks

In case you didn’t know, Adam “Pacman” Jones’ suspension by the Shield has been upheld until the end of his current team’s season. Which, at this point, looks to include the playoffs, unless that cover jinx strikes again…Reaction has been varied throughout the country, with club owners bracing themselves for the coming cold months, where Jones will undoubtedly make his presence known, and wrestling promoters breathing a sigh of relief, as they hope to goad him back into the ring to damage his reputation even more.

Interesting match-ups this week, but no easy picks, since New England has a bye week. I suspect they will be using it to decide how best to implement SkyNet, and infect all technology, ending in Judgment Day. The end times are here. Embrace our new cybernetic masters. Home teams in bold.

Pittsburgh (-9.5) over Cleveland

Did you know Derek Anderson was almost cut during training camp? How improbable of a season is he having? You watch Tyrone Willingham’s golden boy come to your team, you barely make the squad, the guy ahead of you gets benched and traded, and you become the hero of an expansion franchise. What?

Washington (-3) over Philly

Philly is better on the road, because the crowd is supposed to boo, and it doesn’t seem as weird. I thought the Skins would be hungrier against the Jets, but they still got the win. All I’m going to say about Andy Reid is that I don’t know anything about his family, or his house. I do know that at this age, his boys are MEN and responsible for their own actions.

Atlanta (+4) over Carolina

Why can’t this game get blacked out too?

New Orleans (-11.5) over St. Louis

Does everyone believe in this Saints resurgence? I want to, I really want to, but there’s no confidence here. I’m waiting for this NO team to turn on me, and go back into the toilet, but I don’t think they turn this week.

Buffalo (-3) over Miami

This line could not be high enough.

Kansas City (-3) over Denver

Ugh. Denver can’t stop anyone from running, but Kansas City lost their running back. The question becomes, how much do I trust Preist Holmes at home? I trust him more than three points, I guess.

Titans (-4) over J’Ville

Did thee loss of Pacman inspire this team to their 6-2 start? Nah. But, it hasn’t been VY’s passing that has gotten them so good so fast, and the improved play of LenDale White isn’t it either. This defense, led by veteran Keith Bullock has just been beastly, and Jacksonville presents no problem they can’t solve. Go Titans.

Green Bay (-6) over Minnesota

I really think that Adrian Peterson and his back up band are going to cover this week, but I can’t in good faith take the Vikes when they dock wide receiever Troy Williamson a game check for missing Sunday’s game to attend the funeral of his grandmother, who pretty much raised him his whole life. He had to organize the funeral, set up travel arrangements for siblings and family, and consequently missed the romp over San Diego. About the fine (which the NFLPA is going to rightfully appeal), Williamson said, “I don't care if they would have [taken] my pay for the rest of the year, I was going home.” Good for him, bad for the Vikings, because the football gods tend to punish heartless organizations.

Cincy (+4) over Old Browns

Chris Henry plays his first game after his suspension by the Shield. Odds are, this is also going to be his last game before the next suspension.

Dallas (-1.5) over New Jersey A

Should be the best game of the day; the Giants pass rush has been impressive, but their secondary is still suspect. Tony Romo, armed with his new contract, should tear this team apart. And I still have no faith in Eli.

Detroit (-1) over Arizona

Wait a minute. A 6-2 team is visiting a 3-5 team, and only giving up one point? Wow. I love that everyone has adopted the Lions as a good football team, and keeps thinking that the Cardinals are about to turn the whole history of the franchise around. Oh, and you know that one bad team that sneaks into the playoffs every year, and gets blown out in the wild card weekend? Let’s just say I can’t WAIT to bet against the Lions. If gambling were legal. Or something.

Chicago (-3.5) over Oakland

I have no legitimate reason for picking this way, except for the fact that Teenage Coach Lane Kiffen has decided to announce that they will kick to Devin Hester. Hmm…he’s their only scoring threat, so you decide to put the ball in his hands. Kids these days.

Indy (-3.5) over San Deigo

Cue another postgame LDT breakdown after getting embarrassed by a far superior team on Sunday night in front of a national audience. I can’t wait to hear the Marty chants long into the night.

Seattle (-10) over San Fran

Ew. Yuck. Yawn. I hope there’s a good NBA game on Monday night.

Week 9 Picks

Another week, another picks column. Some downright intriguing match-ups this week, with Jacksonville visiting the surging Saints, Dallas going to Philly, and Green Bay playing on a short week in one of the toughest stadiums in the League. Still, it feels like I’m forgetting something.

Oh yeah.




COLTS!

PATS!

Who ya wit???

Gonna save that pick for last. Home teams still in bold, kiddies.

Washington (-3.5) over New Jersey Snitches

After that embarrassing loss to the Terminators last week, the Redskins need someone to take it out on. And who else to punish than the team and coach who got the Terminators mad in the first place. Blow OUT.

Green Bay (+2.5) over Kansas City

Oh, I don’t feel good about that. But, this kind of feels like one of those seasons where Favre wins about 5 extra games he shouldn’t for no real reason, right? Has he used all those games yet? Did Monday night count as 2?

Tampa Bay (-3.5) over Arizona

Everyone is saying that the Cardinals are going to turn it around down the stretch, but that makes no sense to me. Is it the overpowering (3.8 ypc) running game? Is it the 1-3 road record? What? What am I missing?

Tennesee (-4) over Carolina

Old man Vinny is going to be involved again this week. G’night Vinny.

Atlanta (-3) over San Francisco

Actual text message between me and my friend Chip Gold:

Me: You aren’t going to believe this, the Falcons are actually favored this week.

Chip: That’s impossible; we already had our bye week.

New Orleans (-3.5) over J’Ville

Damn you Drew Brees for sabatoging my fantasy season. Sure, I’m doing okay without you, but I’d be doing a sight better if I hadn’t jettisoned you for ten cents on the dollar when you were stinking up my roster.

Detroit (-3) over Denver

Everyone (even the Packers) can run on Denver. Kevin Jones is a pretty good running back. Hmmmmmmmmmm….Oh, and just so you don’t think you’re dreaming, after this week, there could be a 6-2 team and a 7-1 team in the NFC North, and neither one would be the Chicago Bears.

Buffalo (-2) over Cincy

Why when people talk about great quarterbacks in the NFL today, the lists always goes: Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Carson Palmer. What the hell? He hasn’t even sniffed the second round of the playoffs in his career, and the other two have rings. Am I taking crazy pills?

San Diego (-7) over Minnesota

Maybe the Chargers aren’t as bad as I originally thought. Maybe Brad Childress had a stroke, since that is the only reason that he wouldn’t give Peterson the ball more times per game.

Cleveland (-1) over Seattle

The Browns might actually be good. And this Seahawks team is awful. Any other division, they’d be playing for draft picks. In the NFC West, they’re leading by 2 games. Remarkable.

Oakland (-3) over Houston

I have no idea. Just feels right.

Dallas (-3) over Philly

Really want to believe that McNabb is back in fighting shape, but I just can’t. Not even in Philly. Not even at night. Sorry.

Pittsburgh (-9) over Baltimore
Divisional game, two allegedly good teams. And this spread should be much bigger.

Okay, as far as the Main Event goes, I’ll say this: The Colts have been running better than the Pats all year, and their defense has looked great from the get go. The return of Richard Seymour might have an effect, but both o-lines have been lights out so far. Marvin Harrison is questionable, and last week showed that the Pats defense is not so much old, as experienced, and ready to take every other team out of their game plan. It’s amazing that the undefeated, defending Super Bowl champs are getting 5.5 points at home. It’s even more amazing that I’m picking against them.

New England (-5.5) over Indianapolis

Colts. Terminated.

Hasta La Vista, Part 2

Pumping Iron Division
Lifting weights, trying to become a contender.

15. Houston
Sage Rosenfels is not the answer, but Schaub is trying to come back as soon as possible. Good too, because I have a sneaking suspicion that if they can get healthy, this might be a pretty good team. The AFC South has been a literal battleground all season, with all four teams checking in the top 15 of my power rankings.

14. Cleveland
Will someone in the NFC North please stand up as a great team? Occasionally, the Browns look like a football team. Usually though, they look like the Browns. Aside from their remaining divisional games, they have a fairly weak schedule down the stretch, and have a chance to be a decent team. Thought I probably have them ranked too high, since I never know what the hell I’m talking about (See 2007 NFL Predictions/Weekly Picks).

13. Tampa
Jeff Garcia cannot carry this show all alone. He has looked great thus far (133-189, 7 tds, 0 picks), but the injuries to this team leave them on the outside of the elites. No running back and a banged up offensive line? Tough stuff to overcome. Still might win the weird NFC South.

12. Ravens
Bad offense, stellar defense, great at home, so-so on the road. Sound familiar? Like every other Ravens team for 10 years? Well, there is a difference this year. The established starter is being outplayed by the back-up; McNair or Boller?

11. Chicago
HOPE THEY KICK TO DEVIN HESTER!!! Actual excerpt from the weekly Bears offensive scouting report. The running game has been underwhelming with Cedric Benson carrying the load all alone this year, and they needed a 97-yard, no timeouts, touchdown drive out of Brian Griese to win last week. Wouldn’t count on it every week, though.

10. Washington
Curious to see how the leagues top secondary is going to fare against the Pats prolific passing attack (This blog brought to you by alliteration-nation.com). Jason Campbell is progressing as an NFL quarterback nicely, but they are in a power division in the NFC. They would be walking away with the West.

True Lies Division
Looking like legit team, but really a pretender.

9. Jacksonville
Should probably fall MUCH further after the loss of David Garrard on Monday night. You could tell Quinn had no plans on playing that night. His tentative schedule was looking cool on the sideline with the blacked-out visor for the duration of the game, followed by trolling for girls in downtown Jacksonville, and maybe showing up for film the next day. He hadn’t planned on getting picked on by Bob Sanders and co. all night.

8. Chargers
Dateline: Week 4. LDT finishes up the post-game press conference in tears, admitting that he didn’t know what could be done to turn the season around. While this Bolts team will win the AFC West (big deal), they won’t make any noise in the postseason…again. At least this time, they can’t blame Marty.

7. Titans
Kerry Collins actually looked good in relief duty for the injured Vince Young; if the Madden Curse holds, he better stay lose. Keith Bullock is having a career year, the rushing attack has looked good and consistent, and the quarterback has found a way to lead his team without doing too much through the air. Definite potential to move up the list with their upcoming schedule.

6. Green Bay
Did you know that Bret Favre has thrown more touchdowns than anyone in history? Did ya? Did ya? Too bad he can’t rush for them, they’re only real shortcoming. Eventually, someone is going to shutdown the passing attack, and they’re done. Or Bret Favre will remember that he’s 65, and they’re done. One of the two.

Predator Division
In the hunt to be considered the best

5. Giants
I am so confused by this team. I was ready to write them off when Tiki threw Eli under the bus, but they’ve bounced back nicely. Maybe Tom Coughlin has been replaced by a robot that actually cares for his players, maybe Plaxico not practicing is the only way he’s any good, maybe the G-Men just rallied around Eli. Okay, the third one is a stretch. Have fun across the pond picking on the Phins. Hey, they send us washed up David Beckham, we send them a bottom tier Week 8 game. Fair is fair.

4. ‘Boys
Similar team to Green Bay, but with an actual viable running game. Their main problem has been on the other side of the ball, where Roy Williams continues his career of playing more like a linebacker than a safety, and getting picked on by opposing QBs. If there was a highlight reel at the end of every season of pass plays over 30 yards, what percentage of them would include Roy Williams? 40? 45?

3. Steelers
I’m not as shaken on Tomlin’s guys after the Sunday night game as many others were. It may have been a really bad loss, with poor play calling, but the defense is still good, the running game is still out of control, and the passing attack still is able to throw up 3 or 4 touchdowns a game.

Conan the Barbarian Division
A step away from becoming king...

2. Colts
Defending champs with a dominant running game, resurgent defense, one of the best quarterbacks of all time, and the best receiving corps in the NFL. What’s keeping them from number one? Sadly, it has nothing to do with them, because they have been lights out all season.

Terminator Division
C'mon, we all knew how this was going to end.

1. Patriots
They’re the Colts on steroids. That one thing that the Colts were missing to keep them out of number one that I mentioned? Belichick and his boys have been on a mission since the whole Camera-Gate thing, and have found a better way to send a message to the League than a mass email with the team giving the middle finger. They have resolved to remove any modicum of doubt in the ability of their team by beating the collective pants off of everyone they play. They could play a high school team, and would only pull Brady once he broke 300-yards and 5 touchdowns. They are sending a message. Hope everyone else has been paying attention.

THE PICKS:

Indy (-7) over Panthers
Cleveland (-3) over Rams
Chicago (-5) over Detroit
Giants (-9.5) over Miami
Oakland (+7.5) over Tennessee
Minnesota (-1) over Philly
Pitt (-3.5) over Cincy
Buffalo (+3) over Jets
San Diego (-9.5) over Houston
Tampa Bay (-4) over Jacksonville
Nawlins (-3) over San Fran
Terminators (-16.5) over Washington
Green Bay (+3) over Denver

Hasta La Vista, Part 1

In recognition of the tough decisions that Governor Schwarzenegger has had to make during the current wildfires in San Diego, I have subdivided the NFL into divisions for my half-way power rankings. Each division is a Schwarzenegger classic film…I bet you can guess how it ends.

Raw Deal Division
Game. Over. There is no shot, and whether due to injury or bad deals, they are dead in the water.

32. Rams
Worst team in the league, and things aren’t looking to get any better. The only upside is they play in the worst division in the NFL, and might be able to sneak in a win before the end of the year. Probably not.

31. Phins
Things were bad before the Ronnie Brown injury. Things are worse now. Maybe they’ll win a game at one point, thought Sunday was incredibly bad. At least they aren’t playing a game in England this weekend. Oh. Damn. Here’s an actual text message sent from me to a friend on Sunday about the Miami-NE game:

Tom Brady finished 21-25, 6 TDs, 0 picks, and was knighted at midfield immediately following the game. I just made one of those stats up, can you tell me which?

His response:

He threw a pick?

30. Falcons
There’s actually a Byron Leftwich/Joey Harrington quarterback battle ongoing in Atlanta. Let that sink in for a while. What leadership vacuum? Oh, and cutting Grady Jackson? Marvelous way to look towards next year.

29. Bills
The J.P. Losman era has come to an end, as Trent Edwards hasn’t look half bad recently. But, apparently the Buffalo brass is looking at playing some games in Toronto next year, thereby making Willis McGahee’s joke from last season come true, and dooming them to this division.

28. Saints
2 wins against the lifeless Seahawks and the AWFUL Falcons. Too bad Duece went down, and they’ve gotten the city’s hopes up again. They’re still not very good, and they still won’t be winning many games.

Kindergarten Cop Division
There's no real chance of these teams making any moves later, but just like you'd think you wouldn't need a cop in a Kindergarten, you never know.

27. Niners
This is the best account of wasted talent all season. Frank Gore has been literally killing himself to make this team worth mentioning, but having Dilfer under center the last few weeks has not helped the cause. Alex Smith is apparently coming back this week to face down a pretty good NO pass rush, with a barely healed shoulder.

26. Arizona
I am not a believer. Every year, the Cardinals are the popular pick as everyone’s sleeper pick to be a decent team, its just that this year they’ve kept up the charade a lot longer than in years past. I am not a believer.

25. Jets
Is Chad Pennington done? Floating balls to the other team, I mean. Looks like the team is going to stick with him down the stretch, for better or worse. Who am I kidding, for worse.

24. Broncos
Congrats on an inspiring Sunday night win over the Steelers, but I’m still not convinced this team is any good. They haven’t been running well all year, Cutler has been more miss than hit this season, and the defense hasn’t stopped water on the ground. Why Pittsburgh didn’t just pound the ball on them with the AFC’s number 1 running attack is beyond me.

23. Raiders
What happened to the JaMarcus Russell sweepstakes? I’ve got a sneaking feeling that after the next four weeks (losses) we’ll be hearing a lot more about him in the quarterback situation out west.

22. Seahawks
What can I say about this Seattle team that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan? Bombed out and depleated. One week they blow out the hapless Rams, and look ok, and the week before, they can’t muster a point in Pittsburgh. A note about Shaun Alexander: The only time he’s been any good and consistent has been a contact year for him. And this ain’t a contract year.

Scavenger Hunt Division
Looking for something, but they won't find it in time.

21. Lions
I have literally no idea about this team. They’re sitting at 4-2, but the two losses were by a combined 65 points. I think they’re 21, but maybe they’re 12. Who knows.

20. Chiefs
Okay, so they were right to get rid of Trent Green’s bobble headed self. They weren’t right to sit out Larry Johnson so long, and we’ll see how bringing Priest Holmes back plays out. They’re on top of the division, but they seem like garbage. Ugh.

19. Vikings
Okay, Adrian Peterson puts up the most yards ever against the Bears in week 6, and is rewarded with 12 carries the following week. What the hell kind of logic is this? Ladies and gentlemen, the NFC North.

18. Philly
OK, I am ready to admit it and be the last to turn on Mr. McNabb and admit it just doesn’t look good for the Illadelph this season. Westbrook has been predictably great, but the rest of the offense leaves way too much to be desired to consider their 2-4 start a ‘slow start’.

17. Carolina
I hate the NFC South. This is the second rated team I have on my list in the division, and they are hoping David Carr can bounce back from injury to start this week. Let me repeat that: THEY ARE HOPING DAVID CARR CAN BOUNCE BACK!!! Ugh.

16. Cincy
They’ve always been soft, up front and on defense, and this may be the softest we’ve ever seen from them. The firepower of Carson Palmer and their stable of ultra talented receivers keep them in most games, but out of the top half of my power rankings.

2007 NFL Preview

Sunday night, the New Jersey Football Giants and the Old Browns/New Ravens each lost a slew of players to injury, adding to the ever-growing list of pre-season casualties, leaving many of us wondering, what happens when a franchise player gets injured during these meaningless exhibitions. I’ll tell you what happens; the team is screwed. That said, barring any significant injury or new charges brought against a star player, here be official NFL predictions for the upcoming year.

AFC EAST
1. Pats
2. Jets
3. Fins
4. Buffalo

If the Randy Moss trade happened in one of my Fantasy Leagues, there would have been a freaking riot. (Not so) quietly, the Pats have surrounded Brady with more quality receivers than at any other time in his career. My only question is if this officially acts as an apology from Robert Kraft for leaving him with Reche Caldwell and Troy Brown. Reluctantly, I put the Jets ahead of the Fins, only because I believe in Mangini a whole lot more than I believe in Cam Cameron. Even though I believe in Trent Green more than Pennington, neither team has a dominating running game to set them apart. All I know is Mangini led a very bad team to the playoffs last year, and Cam Cameron no longer has LDT to depend on.

The Bills have J.P. Losman playing quarterback.

AFC NORTH
1. Baltimore
2. Cincy/Pitt
3. Pitt/Cincy
4. “Browns”

I don’t care how anemic and old Baltimore looked in the playoffs against the Colts, that team can make any other look mortal (see Bears, Chicago). This was a 13 win team last year, and hopefully my grandma’s favorite player from Alcorn State still has some left in the tank. As we leave the University of Miami’s Mid-Atlantic alumni association, I find myself torn between two teams with reams of potential. The Cincin-Attica Bengals would be higher, and no where near a toss-up with Pitt, but I have to take into account all of the inevitable arrests. How has the commish not penalized the entire city of Cincy? Mike Tomlin’s team has some questions to answer, with the disgruntled nature of some players and the departure of Joey Porter, but I think they’ll manage. No one got hit by an old lady this off season, and Big Big looked pretty good throwing the pill in the preseason thus far. They should at least be battling for a playoff spot.

The “Browns” have Romeo Crennel coaching.

AFC SOUTH
1. Indy
2. Oilers
3. J’Ville
4. Houston

Peyton Manning did it. He infiltrated our society with commercials and ads and exceptionally funny, self deprecating SNL moments. He tricked us all into liking him, something I was sure he could never do, and something I thought would forever haunt his statistically proficient career. Oh, and he won a Super Bowl too. Vince Young is one of the brightest young stars the NFL has seen in years, but I question the ability of the running game to compliment. Plus, when his arm falls off due to the Madden Cover Curse, I question Kerry Collins’ ability to take a hit in a beer helmet. Jacksonville shocked a lot of people last year, but I think the coaches messing with the QB situation have done way more harm than good to the team as a whole.

The Texans have made no upgrades on the offensive line.

AFC WEST
1. San Diego
2. Denver
3. KC
4. Oakland

My LDT rant aside, I can’t deny the obvious talent the TCU alum is. Watching film from last year, coupled with his kickass new Nike commercial, I am completely in awe of the ability he displays on the field. He is one of the greatest to carry the ball in recent memory, maybe of all time. And he will be carrying my Fantasy Team to greatness. The Horses looked great, until all those injuries during that meaningless preseason game. Note to the AFC West: just don’t throw at Champ Bailey. Don’t do it. Its not worth it. Kansas City has two mediocre QBs, a weak, injury riddled receiving corps, a bad defense, and no running back. When Larry Johnson signs, and his knee promptly implodes, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.

The Raiders have a teenager coaching.

NFC EAST
1. Philly
2. Dallas
3. Giants
4. Wash

The Illadelph looks very good this year. While I’m not as sure as Donovan F. about the prowess of this years Eagles squad, I do know that I believe in Brian Westbrook, Reggie Brown and that DF McNabb was a fantasy gem until his injury a year ago. Since Dallas is insisting on starting Tony Romo, they default to second in the East. Until he proves he can catch field goal snaps, I cannot in good faith put him any higher. The New Jersey Giants are bad, really bad. They have Kerry Collins Jr. under center…and that is the nicest thing I can say about them. No wonder Strahan doesn’t want to come back, even if his wife took half.

The Redskins have a psychopath as an owner.

NFC NORTH
1. Chi-Town
2. Minnesota
3. GB
4. Det

Due to what can only be described as an instance of mass idiocy, Rex Grossman remains the starting quarterback for the returning NFC Champions. Cedric Benson will have to step his game up, as the running game is finally all his. Apparently, Devin Hester is going to be playing offense some too…he’s not even that good of a DB, why confuse him more. Minnesota had a great draft, made some key summer moves, yet will still be letting Jackson steer this Viking ship. Even two years later, boat humor still floats. Get it? Floats. Speaking of Bret Favre passes, I actually find myself rooting for him to overcome his old-man stubbornness, and to drag his team to the playoffs. It’s just been too long since an opposing team had to play in Lambeau in January.

The Lions have Matt Millen running things.

NFC SOUTH
1. Nawlins
2. Tampa
3. Carolina
4. Birds

The team formally known as the Ain’ts looked great last year…until Reggie Bush tempted the football gods by teasing Brian Urlacher in the NFC Title game. Bad Reggie. That said, they actually look like a contender to repeat in the most competitive division in football. Between the continued heroics of Drew Brees and the two-headed monster backfield, they should hold up fine. I like Tampa because I like Jeff Garcia, and the way he carried a Philly team that could have imploded. Jon Gruden loves quarterbacks, he loves tough guys, and Jeff Garcia is a tough-guy QB. Carolina doesn’t look good. Not even a little bit. But, they still aren’t the dregs of this division.

The Falcons have Joey Harrington playing quarterback.

NFC WEST
1. St. Louis
2. Zona
3. Seattle
4. San Fran

I hate the Rams. Hate ‘em. But, this off season, Bulger got paid, Stephen Jackson got better, and the receiving corps got younger. Ah, two outta three ain’t bad. A refocused offense, a retooled defense, and a weak West screams of opportunity for the Rams. And an ailing, aging Shaun Alexander screams problems for Seattle. Hassleback and his pass-catchers benefited immeasurably in the Super Bowl season from Mr. Alexander’s greatness, I just think he’s a little worn down from carrying a team with a bird mascot (see Anderson, Jamal). I think Arizona could leap ahead of them, if ‘ol 37 is indeed wearing down as it appears, since those receivers are a BEAST. Though Matt Lienart would have to get them the ball. But, Edge will be there to keep the pressure off of the noodle armed former Trojan. Hence them being 2nd.

The 49ers have an injured Frank Gore.

PLAYOFF PICTURE

AFC
1. Pats
2. San Diego
3. Indy
4. Baltimore
5. Denver
6. Titans

Indy blows by Kerry Collins and his squad, while the Denver/Old Browns match-up is a lot more interesting. Two defensively minded teams who don’t meet in the regular season, I have to give the nod to the more (historically) dependable running game in Denver. Jay Cutler notwithstanding, I think Shanahan learned from last year, and is ready to take this team deep into the playoffs.

The second playoff weekend looks to be much more interesting, where the Pats welcome Denver to Razor Stadium. The Super Pats’ firepower might be too much for the powerful for even the dominant Denver defense, and I don’t think the Horses can keep pace with New England. Speaking of Horses not keeping pace, Indy has lost way too much on the defensive side of the ball to hope to contain the Super Chargers. Game over Peyton.

NFC
1. The N.O.
2. St. Louis
3. Philly
4. Chicago
5. Dallas
6. Vikes

Inter-divisional battles will define the first round of the playoffs, as the North and East see rematches. Obviously, I give the nod to whoever has the regular season edge, and as I would predict it, I see both higher seeds holding out against the Wild Card teams.

Round 2 sees a rematch of last years NFC title game, but things change this time: Rex Grossman serves to sink the ship that the defense has been carrying. If he’s under center, and the Bears make it this far, then the wheels get to come off a little earlier than last year. The other game sees the Eagles coming into the dome of the Rams, and leaving with a big, fat L. The history of Philly sports futility continues. This is a city that celebrated the Phillies losing the most games ever this season. And the story continues.

Super Bowl
New England Patriots over New Orleans Saints.

It hurts me to say it. Tom Brady gets another ring. Look at the roster, its almost not fair. These guys are like a Madden 08 team where the owner made a bunch of one-sided trades to build a super team. Except it’s a real team. Barring Laurence Maroney stabbing himself in his heart with that ridiculous Kool-Aid necklace, nothing can stop Robert Kraft from adding to his collection of Lombardi Trophies.

Truth or Dare

*This was written right after the Super Bowl, on February 7, 2007. I'm posting this not out of laziness, but because my official 2007 NFL preview is coming tomorrow. I wholeheartedly stand by everything I said. Unless I was wrong.*

With the Soul Bowl behind us, and the NBA not even at the All-Star break, this marks the beginning of Dark Period in sports. This mark times when sports are still present, just not as much fun or interesting as they’ve been recently. Look at your upcoming sports schedule after rivalry week, highlighted by Duke v. UNC. You can look forward to the Pro Bowl, where no one has cared since…well ever. You can look forward to All-Star weekend, where the dunk contest was won by a member of the lollipop guild, who was given over 20 attempts at the winning dunk. Meanwhile, my boy AI the 2nd nailed two dunks that had never been seen before ANYWHERE. I’m openly still bitter. Then, you get to watch elite teams coast the final 30 or so games, while a bunch of mediocre teams lobby for playoff position. But there’s always the NHL…just kidding.

Looking back at the Soul Bowl, I was wrong. I nailed the pick, I always do that, but I was wrong in thinking that Lovie Smith would stay with the girl who took him to the dance, the running game. But, as Grossman’s second interception floated to the ground like the first leaf off a tree in the fall, I realized who the MVP should be. Obviously, Peyton was going to win it, since we had all endured 2 weeks about how his family has never won anything, except for any drinking competition Cooper was entered in. But, based upon the effect that a player had on the game, the MVP should have gone to any one of these players: Joseph Addai/Dominck Rhodes, who played keep away with the football, running and catching effectively enough to keep moving the chains, Bob Sanders, whose very presence energized a defense with something to prove, or Rex Grossman, for a litany of reasons. The stat that mattered most in this game was the score, but the second most important stat was time of possession: IND: 38:04 CHI: Too little for their offense to make a difference. It felt like Indy stole Chicago’s game plan of keep the ball as long as possible, and it was the running backs and defense who did that. All Peyton really did was back away slowly from Addai’s fumble, too afraid to be hurt in the scrum.

Since the year’s biggest event is behind us, I’ve been hearing a lot of so-called truths about next year’s NFL. So, I’ve taken it upon myself to poke some holes in some of the more popular ones.

Oakland has a chance to be .500 next year
This is one that is just oh-so-sad. These poor fans get their hopes up every year, and every year they end up making claims like this. People who are fond of this love to claim they had the league’s best pass defense this past year. What they neglect to mention is that teams don’t usually pass when ahead. Which is where Oakland’s opponents generally were in every game last year. Plus, the ‘coach’ is approximately 14 years old, and will command no respect with a notoriously lawless franchise.

New Orleans will match this years success
Now, I am human, and I have a working, beating, heart, so of course I was touched by the story that was the Saints this year. But, I am also in possession of a working brain, and that brain tells me that the Saints play in the most competitive division in the NFL. Disagree? Since realignment, exactly one division has had each of its four teams reach a conference championship game. Any guesses on which one? Plus, you’ve got a hungry (healthy?) Panthers squad, a Buccaneers team which could reload that defense this draft, and a Falcons squad with Michael Vick close to the edge. He’s trying not to lose his head.

Rex Grossman will be the starting quarterback in Chicago next year
Hahahahahahaha, did you see the Super Bowl? Seriously, I don’t think Billy King or Isaiah Thomas is running the Bears yet, so he will be replaced. This claim must have come from a drunken Bears fan, which should be any Bears fan, as he has most certainly driven them to drink. More.

LaDainian Tomlinson should be called LT
There is one LT. He did blow before games, gave opposing players nightmares, and broke people’s legs. Does Mr. Tomlinson do any of these things? No? Then he’s LDT. End of story.