Week 2 went terribly for me. Seriously though, did anyone in America pick the Cleveland-Cincinnati to end up with 96 points scored? I didn’t think the fake Browns had it in them to score that many points. The lesson is as always: no one really knows what’s going to happen, that’s why they play the games. Here we go, anyway.
Indy (-6) over Houston
Indy (-6) over Houston
No Andre Johnson means no deep threat, which means no need for the Colts not to blitz that ridiculously bad O-line, which means the Colts are going to win by more than six. This isn’t the end of last year, Houston being 2-0 means they aren’t going to sneak up on anybody, and the defending champs need to send a message after almost blowing the Titans game last week.
Green Bay (+5) over San Diego
I’m not counting out LDT’s return to prominence this year, but he traditionally starts very slow, and this is a feisty Packers defense at Lambeau. Not sure how I feel about Favre, as his great game last week was against an awful defense, but I think the cheese heads will cover.
Minnesota (+3) over Kansas City
I really don’t even care. Both teams are atrocious; with the Vikes only win thus far coming against my Falcons. Neither team has a good offense, but at least Minnesota has a D.
Philidelphia (-6) over Detroit
The perfect game for McNabb to return to form in, as he’s going up against an abysmal Lions secondary. I don’t care who Kitna ascribes his miraculous return to last week, this Eagles defense has looked good for two straight weeks, with a healthy (looking) Javon Kearse, and Takeo Spikes playing for a decent team for once.
Buffalo (+16.5) over New England
We all know who is going to win this game, but c’mon. There is no way that a third week in a row some team is going to let Randy Moss just run roughshod through their secondary. The idea that an NFL team would not have learned even a little from Weeks one and two is almost offensive. Still, this is J.P. Losman and the Buffalo Bills we’re talking about…maybe 16.5 is about right.
New Jersey B-Team (-3) over Miami
We’re inching closer to the Trent Green’s season coming to a close, and then who’s going to take over in MI-Yayo? Cleo Lemon? Really?
Pittsburgh (-9) over San Fran
I feel the worst about this pick this week. There. I said it. If gambling were legal, I would be avoiding this game like Kanye West avoids humility. Both are 2-0, but San Fran has won by a combined 4 points, and we haven’t seen the Steelers match up with a running back of Gore’s caliber. Screw it, I stand by the pick.
Arizona (+7.5) over Baltimore
I don’t trust Brian Billick to cover games anymore. I’ve been burned by his “offense” way too many times. To date, they’ve mustered 3 offensive touchdowns, and two of those were thrown Kyle Boller. Fool me once, shame on you…
Tampa Bay (-4) over St. Louis
Hey Bucs, figure out what the hell you are, so that I can make an intelligent decision regarding your team. Speaking of intelligent decisions, the next time a team loses their Pro-Bowl left tackle for the season, and I pick them to win the subsequent football game, just shoot me in the head.
Denver (-3) over Jacksonville
Does Vegas know something we don’t? Are we all really sold on David Garrard as an NFL Starter? Hasn’t Jay Cutler proven something in back to back last second wins?
Cinncinattica (+3.5) over Seattle
I don’t care how good Seattle thinks they are, their defense has ranged from bad to abysmal, and this jailbird offense scores tons of points. Sure, they don’t have a defense, but they don’t need one this week…can you name 2 Seahawk receivers? Me neither.
Cleveland (+3) over Oakland
Never underestimate the effects of an improbable win on a moribund franchise. And never underestimate that teams ability to pick on a more miserable team.
Carolina (-4) over Atlanta
This really used to be a good game. Now, we get to see D’Angelo Hall provoke more ‘tugging on Superman’s cape’ analogies, when he inevitably trash talks Steve Smith, who responds with 150 yards, and at least two touchdowns. At least we brought back Morten Anderson, who can actually make field goals. Ugh. The highlight of the Falcons season so far is the re-signing of a kicker who came into the league three years before I was born. I hate this.
Washington (-3) over New Jersey A-Team
The Giants are awful, just awful. Thinking about leaving the Jets as New Jersey B-Team, and demoting the soon to be new-coach having Giants to the C-Team. Just something I’ve been thinking about.
Dallas (+3) over The Chica-Gorillas
Is anyone scared of the Dallas defense? I mean, besides Rex Grossman. The biggest problem for the Cowboys so far has been defending the pass, but since the Bears still have whatshisname under center, I’ll take the points, thank you very much.
Nawlins (-3) over Tennessee
The Saints are really good at home. Just like they’re really good against the Bucs, and just like the season opening game was really entertaining. Seriously though, is Vince Young capable of winning a game by more than 3 points? Since he earned the starting nod in Nash-Vegas last year, he has won exactly three games by more than a field goal! And one of those was in overtime, when he scored a touchdown! That’s exactly three wins of more than three points in 15 opportunities. Make that 16.