My dad knows how much I love SEC football, and how feverently I defend it. Therefore, he feels the need to periodically send me emails with jokes about the aforementioned conference. Here is one such email, that's actually pretty funny, though I am wondering about the lack of any Ole Miss jokes. I guess some things are just too easy.
Here is the traditional collegiate football quiz to begin the season. Even though you may know most of the answers, it is still fun to reminisce the halcyon days of yore.
(1) What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? .........Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put thirty-two Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? .........A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get a South Carolina cheerleader into your dorm room? .........Grease her hips and push.
(4) How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch? .........Pay him for the pizza.
(5) How do you know if a Mississippi State football player has a girlfriend? ........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.
(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum? .........Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of an Auburn football player's life? .......Freshman year
(8) How many Florida Freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?............None -- that's a sophomore course.
(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?........Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He knew that the police would never look at LSU for a Heisman Trophy winner.
AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)
(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.