I Did Not See That Coming

Okay, so they wait 72 hours between games 1 and 2, both played in Boston, but I get game 3 two days after the Lakers played 8 minutes, and lost by 2? Well, here are some more knee-jerk reactions to the series (and sports in general) while I hit up Ace Hardware for some of those Clockwork Orange eyepieces so that I can catch every second of the game.

- They made Leon Powe look like '95 Shaq. Unacceptable.

- The Lakers did nothing resembling winning basketball Sunday night; I'm embarrassed to say I picked them. Just abysmal.

- Big ups to Ken Griffey Junior.

- Vinny Del Negro is an NBA head coach. I'll let that sink in.

- Cedric Benson got cut...Mack Brown's track record with running backs continues!

- Ray Allen will heretofore be referred to as Jesus Shuttlesworth. He's re-earned the right.

- Chipper Jones will finish with an .800 average, and at least 75 home runs. Just ask the Atlanta media, dey know...

- Paul Pierce faked it.

- Garnett...the paint...please...it's the only hope I have left. I am going to die of a bad-basketball-aneurysm if this man doesn't start taking people into the post and dominating them WITH POST MOVES. 18 foot jumpers and fadeaways ARE NOT post moves.

- Helluva 2013 HOF class we've got shaping up...Favre & Sapp & Strahan & McNair...with Ogden and Seau likely close behind. It'll be crowded in Canton that day.

- They say that the cynic knows the price of everything, and the cost of nothing...well, they're right. In a weekend where we saw a presumptive Triple Crown racehorse not finish the race because of unexplained reasons (mob involvement), the Lakers shoot 28 fewer free throws because of unexplained reasons (mob involvement) and Rick Reilly debut on the four letter because of unexplained reasons (c'mon...), certain questions about the integrity of sports have to be raised.

Why does everyone seem to ignore the OBVIOUS implications of a 38-1 horse winning the race, when the only reason horse racing exists is for gambling?

How can an NBA team shoot so few free throws, play so badly, and STILL lose by 2?

Why do I cancel an SI subscription, only to be reintroduced to Reilly on ESPN.com?

Obviously life isn't fair, and someone is out to get me.